A Former Police Officer Who Died And Get A Second Life! Chapter 140: Afraid of Being Unneeded

For so reason, he always felt like he could speak honestly about what was in his heart when he was here.

As they sat down among the flowers Joa pulled Qiong Xing onto his lap in a protective way and Qiong Xing leaned his head against Joa’s broad chest.

"Albe was crying. He said he was sorry because he couldn’t do anything. But Albe didn’t do anything wrong. This is my problem. I was the one who didn’t realize what was happening with my own body..."

"Yeah, it would have been good if soone noticed earlier. But think about it... this is the first ti for everyone. Do you really think anyone could have noticed?" Joa replied.

"...."

Hearing the steady rhythm of Joa’s heartbeat beside his ear made Qiong Xing feel calr.

"Even for , this is the first ti having a male partner like this. It’s the sa for you, right? Normally you would marry a human woman and when she gets pregnant, you would raise the child together. That’s what’s considered normal. But right now, even though you’re a man, you’re my partner. And even though I’m a man, I’m your partner too. Of course things feel confusing because everything is happening for the first ti. But if that’s how you feel, you need to tell us properly."

"...I’m scared."

"I get that. I’m scared too."

Joa gently patted Qiong Xing’s back in a steady rhythm, almost like calming a child before sleep.

Qiong Xing hugged him tightly.

"Every ti everyone... Fei, Leander, Elias, Albe, all of them tell not to do anything because they’re worried about ... I start to feel pathetic. It’s true that as a human I’m weaker and more fragile than anyone living there... but still! I’m a man too. I’m not so helpless child who can’t do anything. Just because I’m carrying a baby, if they tell not to do anything at all... it makes feel like my own value as a person is disappearing. And that scares ."

"I see... you’re right. That’s our fault. When you first ca here, you were already feeling down because you thought you couldn’t do anything," Joa said quietly.

Just when Qiong Xing had finally started to feel like he could do sothing for everyone, he was suddenly told not to do anything at all.

Of course he would feel anxious.

He had been relying on his mates so much and now they were even taking ti off from their work just to take care of him.

It made him wonder how much he was holding everyone back.

Every ti they told him it was fine, he sotis wondered if they secretly thought he was just getting in the way.

"I’m a coward," Qiong Xing admitted softly. "I’m afraid that everyone will start to hate . I’m terrified that the people I care about will decide they don’t need anymore... that I’m not necessary."

Because he had lost his parents when he was still young, Qiong Xing had always been hungry for affection.

He wanted soone to love him.

He wanted soone to need him.

He wanted to be connected to soone.

That was even one of the reasons he had chosen to beco a police officer.

He had lived alone for so long. Yet every day, children, elderly n, and elderly won would pass by the police box and greet him.

That simple greeting made him happy.

Having soone talk to him every day made him happy.

"You said beastn are very affectionate, right? Elias once said that kind of love might feel heavy for humans. But for ... that weight made happier than anything. When Leander, Elias, and you told that you guys would love the sa way forever... I was really happy."

Soday, he would part ways with Cari, Albe and Mayo.

But the three n who were bound to him as his mates would stay by his side until the end.

"And that’s why I want to give sothing back to everyone. I want to do sothing that helps all of you. If I can’t... if I can’t do that, then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do."

Tears kept flowing from Qiong Xing’s eyes as he pressed his face against Joa’s warm chest.

He cried like a child and for a mont he worried that Joa might be tired of him.

When he finally lifted his face, sothing warm touched his heated eyelids.

"I love you. I can’t compare you to Vita... but more than anyone else in this world, I love you, Qiong Xing," Joa said softly.

With small kissing sounds, Joa placed gentle kisses on Qiong Xing’s eyelids, forehead, cheeks, and finally his lips.

The tenderness made Qiong Xing cry even more.

"Those beautiful eyes of yours... the kindness that calms my heart... the arms that hold and tell you love ... everything about you, Qiong Xing, is precious to ," Joa whispered.

As if to chase away all his doubts, Joa covered his face with kisses.

"I love you too... I love you too, Joa. I really love you," Qiong Xing replied.

All three of his mates told him that they loved him the most.

But Qiong Xing could not choose only one of them and say that person was number one.

Even so, he loved each of them in his own way and he never hesitated to show that love with his words and actions.

He told them that they were precious to him and that he loved all three of them.

They were more important to him than anything else.

They were the warmth that he never wanted to lose.

"I love you too... I love you too, Joa. I really love you," Qiong Xing said through tears.

Those words that was spoken while crying were the happiest words Joa had ever heard in this world.

Qiong Xing was always smiling.

So when Joa saw him collapse with a pale face that day, his whole body had started to tremble.