A Jaded Life Chapter 135

After we split with the three trappers, we continued further into the forest, with Adra leading the way together with Rai. Adra was better at looking for tracks and threats, so today she was teaching him how to get better at it. It had been one of our plans for the future, that those better at those general skills would teach them to the rest. So, I would teach them how to cook, Sigmir would teach us how to skin and process ga, Rai would teach all of us how to sneak and Adra would teach tracking. In combat, each of us would keep their own specialisation, but the other skills could be quite useful, if each of us had so skill in it.

As the two of them got ahead of us, I gently held Sigmir back a little, increasing the distance between us.

“What happened back there? You looked ready to get violent.” I asked, looking her over in concern.

“I…” she started to answer, when suddenly, Ylva left the Hallow she had been in and materialised next to us.

“It was . When the old man talked about the black wolves and their foul ancestors, I got so angry. Those were the ones that drove away my pack.” Ylva explained.

“And neither of us is used to her increased power. With both of us having crossed the first divide, the connection is deeper and I was not prepared for her feelings influencing .” Sigmir added.

Lenore left her Hallow as well, materialising on my shoulder and adding her own opinion, “Could it be that you can’t quite control your powers due to the thod of acquiring them? Normally, you would devour them one after the other, not get an infusion of concentrated power as you got, maybe you will have to digest the power you feasted on before you can fully control it.”

Lenore had a unique viewpoint, as she was both a spirit-beast but she also had been in my mind during the ritual, allowing her to understand my actions and what exactly had happened far better than soone who had just watched from the outside. I certainly placed great weight on her opinion on this matter and it seed like Ylva did so, too.

“So, how do I digest the power?” she asked.

“ditation? Maybe it’s just a matter of ti?” I suggested, not really sure how spirit-beasts worked in that regard.

“Could work. Stay outside the Hallow for now, so there are no further complications regarding your bond.” Lenore added to my idea.

“You want to stay outside as well, Lenore? It is quite the nice day after all.” I asked, suppressing a smile. Ever since we had t, Lenore was enjoying the warmth and comfort in her Hallow, compared to the windy and cold outside world.

“I will go back into my Hallow, I want to go over the things we did last night, maybe I understand more, compared to before.” she answered, her voice dripping with self-sacrificing sincerity, as if she wanted nothing more than stay outside but was making the great sacrifice of staying in her Hallow to work. I may have snorted a little in amusent, causing her to cackle in laughter as she disappeared from my shoulder.

Sigmir and I slowly continued on our way, while Ylva loped ahead, joining the other two, adding her nose to the scouting. As we walked, I realised that Sigmir still looked rather out of sorts and was radiating an insecurity I had not seen on her for weeks. I was getting quite good at reading her mood, but that did not surprise , considering the amount of ti we spent together.

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“Dear heart, what is wrong?” I asked in a soft, gentle voice.

“I was about to lose control. I don’t lose control, that was the whole point of my father’s training, to control myself, even when the battle-lust burns in and I want to channel it, fighting till I drop.” she answered, her voice sad and defeated.

“But you did not lose control. You not only controlled yourself, you also controlled another that was pushing you, holding her back. So, an outside force was pushing at your control but you managed to keep control.”

“I almost lost it. What if I lose it and hurt you?” her voice a strained whisper.

I stopped her, turning her to look at . Sadly there was still the huge height-difference, but I stretched the vines of my Eisblun downwards, using them to lift up, so I could look directly into her eyes. “There is no way you would hurt , in control or out of control. No way I would ever believe that, you could never hurt .” I said, my voice absolutely calm. I had seen her soul, I had touched her soul and accepted her for what she was. There was nothing more intimate, no higher trust I could imagine, so the idea that she would harm , felt utterly ridiculous. I knew, in the bottom of my heart, in the depth of my soul, that I was safe in her hands. She was, quite literally, my rock, my mountain.

On a whim, I reached with my mind towards her, not to strike but in an attempt of the reverse. It was not as intimate as joining our souls together, but I wanted her to feel what I was feeling, the absolute confidence I had in her. There was a feeling of contact, almost as if we were rubbing against each other, and her eyes went wide. I felt her, not just next to , but similarly to the feeling when I was conversing with Lenore in her Hallow. Rembering how I was able to communicate with her, I tried sending feelings over the connection, rembering the many tis I had been lying in her arms, the tis we had kissed, trying to send her the feelings of contentnt, trust and love I felt for her.

There was an answer, a little hesitant at first, maybe she was not quite used to the strange way of communicating, but I felt her trust in , the trust that I would be with her, that she wouldn’t be alone.

“Hey, will you co along?” Adra’s voice pulled us from our reverie and the connection between us broke, leaving both of us a little reeling. But from the look on Sigmir’s face, she had felt what I wanted her to feel and it had had the effect I wanted it to have.

There was a smile on her face, as we continued after Adra and Rai, holding hands despite the terrain we were moving on.

The rest of the day passed without any great incident, the others found a few wolf-tracks but no wolves or we would have started on our work early. Shortly before dusk, we made camp in the foothills of the southern mountains, preparing to move upwards. The camp we made was in a small depression, hiding our fire from prying eyes. I excused myself from the work that day and took out the book I had been lent in the morning, hoping to get at least an idea of useful plants I could find in the area.

As I was reading, it beca clear that while there were quite a few useful herbs and plants, most of them were either very well hidden, like the Shadeleaves I had found before, or would only be useful during spring and sumr, when they had leaves or sotis blossoms or fruits. The book was not very thick, so I was able to get through it within an hour or so and afterwards I started to help the others with cooking and such. While I had read, Adra had gone out and taken down a small deer, so we had at for the next couple of days and it was Sigmir’s job to help with cooking.

After a tasty dinner of deer-stew, we settled down for the night and I logged out as soon as Sigmir and I were in our furs, there were a few things I wanted to do.

The first was to take the recording of the ti I had spent reading, and thus looking at, the herb-lore book, saving it in an extra file so I could access it at any ti. That way, I had essentially a copy of the book and could look things up, even after giving it back.

The next steps were more mundane, taking care of biological necessity and such, but afterwards, I spent so ti looking through the forums and streams if there were any about the three stooges and their night visit.

Lo and behold, there was a thread of the main stooge, wondering just what happened and making veiled accusations of cheating against , colour surprised. But there was even footage and not for the first ti, I wished for Lenore to be with , as she was able to give a useful perspective on things.