Xia Fanxing sat back down in the chair.
Ning Youguang asked, "Whenever you feel unhappy, guilty, and severely criticized, what kind of state are you in?"
Xia Fanxing remained motionless, absorbed in thought.
After a long while, he said, "Feels like I’m a child."
"Okay, this state in psychology is called the ’Childhood Self State.’
"So is this state very bad?"
"Human states are neither good nor bad."
"Neither good nor bad, so why do I feel bad?" Xia Fanxing was a bit emotional.
"The ’Childhood Self State’ is constructed from remnants of our childhood, embodying all the emotions we experienced as children. As we age, these childhood emotions evolve into the core of our behavioral patterns, rging into a part of us, defining our lifelong behavior. These basic emotions include happiness and affection, anger, sadness, fear. When adults enter the ’Childhood Self State,’ their behavior patterns resemble those from childhood and are unrelated to actual age."
"So that’s why I am the way I am now?"
"That’s only half of it. In the process of growing up, apart from emotional dominance over behavioral patterns, parents are the most significant. From the beginning, they influence their child’s consciousness. So parents give love and care when children are fearful or sad, and children, upon receiving love and care, transform emotional patterns to happiness. So parents disregard children’s fear and sadness, and discipline them more strictly, fearing they might ’spoil them.’ The child’s fear and sadness deepen, even though they might appear calm, without crying or fussing."
Xia Fanxing recalled his growing-up process and, with self-mockery, said, "I never thought before that the way parents treat their children would have such control over them, but no child has the power to choose their parents."
"You’re right. Parents rarely consciously hurt their children; they rely unconsciously pass their beliefs and behavior onto the next generation."
"Then what should I do?" Xia Fanxing felt a bit suffocated.
"Therefore, when children grow up and realize their parents’ behavior and beliefs have caused harm, they must learn to adjust their fundantal behavior."
"How can I adjust?"
"Alright, a lot of ti has passed today. Next ti, we’ll delve into today’s issues further."
Xia Fanxing was surprised, not expecting today’s consultation ti to pass so quickly.
He checked his phone and found that three hours had already passed.
Feeling a bit guilty, he habitually bowed his head to apologize, "Sorry for taking up so much of your ti, Teacher Ning."
"I’m always aware of the ti, so you don’t need to feel guilty; just make sure to pay on ti."
"Alright." Xia Fanxing had just breathed a sigh of relief, planning to say thank you.
He was interrupted by the gentle but not at all gentle Teacher Ning assigning him a task: "I’m going on a business trip next week. I’ll give you so howork. Go ho and reflect on your childhood, think about any profound mories that remain painful and unforgettable. Finish the howork and send it to . We’ll see what insights we can gain from it in two weeks."
"Teacher Ning, I hate doing howork the most. Can I not do it?" Xia Fanxing was agitated.
"You can skip it."
"Too..."
"Then our cooperation ends here."
"..."
...
Before the business trip, Ning family day.
On a weekend afternoon, it was raining steadily outside the window.
The house was filled with a faint warm fragrance, the incense lit by the mistress of the house.
Ning Youguang and Ning Youyu, the two siblings, were holding a plate, sitting on the sofa eating cherries and mangosteens and chatting casually.
"Little Fish, why does it feel like you’ve been talking less lately?"
"Hmm." Ning Youyu spat out the cherry pit in his mouth.
"What do you an by ’hmm’?"
Ning Youyu continued eating cherries, saying nothing.
Ning Youguang looked at him, her eyes slightly shifting, and asked, "Has our Little Fish’s teacher at school said sothing to you recently? Or have you encountered sothing unhappy?"
Ming Jinxin sat opposite them, flipping through the latest received fashion magazine.
Upon hearing her question, she raised her head to look at them.
"The teacher said that during lunchti break, if you don’t honor the agreent and talk, disturbing others, then you don’t get afternoon tea and fruit." Ning Youyu frowned and spat out the cherry pit, saying.
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