Xiao Tian originally didn’t want to answer.
But she didn’t want Ning Youguang to think she was foolish enough not to know, so she said, "What else could it be? It’s just liking to be liked, envied, and praised by others."
"Exactly right." Ning Youguang fully endorsed her answer, "Do you know the deeper reasons behind this behavior?"
Xiao Tian thought for a mont and said, "I really like this kind of life."
Ning Youguang laughed, "You could say that."
Xiao Tian asked, "Then what do you think it is?"
"The deeper reasons are all written in their photos and words." Ning Youguang said. "Every part of them says ’I need to prove to myself that I deserve this life, house, job, lover, to prove that I have value, love, and significance.’"
This is also the saddest reason.
People often flaunt what they lack.
The lives displayed on social networks beco more beautiful, more distant from reality, making our inner selves increasingly disappointed, anxious, empty, and fragnted.
Psychological research shows that social network usage reduces human happiness, not because we think "others are happier than ," but because when we compare happiness with others, we feel we aren’t as happy!
Xiao Tian fell silent.
Ning Youguang continued, "Behind this proving, it’s also about seeking a sense of existence. Why would one need to seek a sense of existence? Because their inner sense of value is insufficient."
"Insufficient inner sense of value?" Xiao Tian asked, "Why is that?"
"Because during childhood, they were often neglected, criticized, or compared unfavorably with other children by parents or caregivers, leaving their sense of existence unsatisfied." Ning Youguang said, "Especially for so who were belittled and criticized as children, they might think they’re inadequate and therefore not liked. Flaunting can prove they’re excellent, so they can be liked."
"A sense of existence is sothing everyone needs, but it manifests differently in each person:
So prove their importance by helping others, so prove they’re better by deaning others, so prove their value by surpassing others. All these behaviors have one goal: to make more people ’see them.’ For this ’seeing,’ they exhaust themselves—showing off wealth, buying brands, climbing higher social ladders... at great cost to themselves."
Actually, the true psychological reason behind flaunting wealth is a lack of attention from caregivers and important people in their lives.
They were ignored.
Many may find such people hateful and repulsive, but as soone in psychology, Ning Youguang felt understanding and compassion for Xiao Tian...
If soone truly feels their value inside, they wouldn’t need to flaunt wealth.
They’re doing this just to prove:
"I’m important, I’m deserving of love."
"Please don’t ignore ."
...
In the quiet office, a girl’s suppressed sobs were heard.
Ning Youguang got up and took a pack of tissues from the cupboard, quietly placing them on Xiao Tian’s lap, then did nothing more.
After Xiao Tian’s sobbing turned into wailing and then intermittent crying that lasted over ten minutes, Ning Youguang quietly waited.
After crying, Xiao Tian covered her face and drew a tissue to wipe it, having already removed her black sunglasses.
After all, she was an internet celebrity with excellent makeup skills, her makeup was both exquisite and waterproof.
Even after so much crying, her face didn’t end up looking too ssy.
But, even through thick makeup, Ning Youguang saw her dark eye circles in eyes no longer shielded by sunglasses.
And her sunken cheeks.
She suddenly realized this young woman’s natural beauty is actually quite good.
Online rumors said she’d had costic surgery: a nose job, chin implant, and eye widening, but examining closely, Ning Youguang found that aside from these adjustnts, her original face was quite refined.
Her facial features were smooth and delicate; without surgery, she’d still be a pretty girl.
The surgery has lessened the freshness, adding a bit more commonness and a plastic feel.
A bit of a loss.
While Ning Youguang quietly observed Xiao Tian, her emotions gradually stabilized.
"Ning, I think what you said is very true; my strong pursuit of material things is greatly influenced by my family," Xiao Tian said. "My family conditions were average, and my parents almost never gave pocket money, couldn’t afford expensive clothes. In my high school years, my mom was ill, making our family even more difficult. One New Year, my parents couldn’t afford to buy new clothes, so they gave a bunch of my cousin’s old clothes to wear. I felt so embarrassed wearing her old clothes to school, but I couldn’t tell my classmates I didn’t get new clothes for the New Year. So, I picked two relatively new pieces from my cousin’s old clothes to wear, telling classmates these were my New Year’s clothes. But classmates said the clothes looked old; I felt so embarrassed then. Later, I beca fond of buying clothes, shoes, bags, shopping, and buying all sorts of things..." She said, "You know, I especially like wearing newly bought branded clothes, dressed beautifully to et my high school classmates because I feel this erases the sha I suffered in high school."
"I understand." Ning Youguang said, "I think this mindset is normal; many people go through this stage."
Xiao Tian continued, "Also, my parents always think I’m not as good as others, so impartial, whatever I do is bad, whatever I say is wrong, but everything others do is right, whatever others say is reasonable. If they like others so much, why don’t they beco other people’s parents? Why did they give birth to ? Now I’m like this, they love telling others how bad I am."
She smiled self-mockingly, "I’m indifferent now; I feel I’m this way because of them. Since I’m unhappy, then no one else should be happy."
After hearing her words, Ning Youguang gently said, "All human behavior is driven by the pursuit of happiness. Happiness, when discussed, is just an inner feeling that can’t be rationally analyzed, scientifically explained, nor compared. To achieve happiness, there are two core elents—either satisfy desires or stop desires; we have to choose one of the two."
User Comments
0 comments from readers