"... Thinking back, in order to make a film successful and maintain my popularity, I constantly switched filming locations and often went months without returning ho. Even when I did, I wouldn’t stay long enough for a al. Now that I think about it, was it really necessary? Why did I push myself so hard? It wasn’t freeing at all."
"But you achieved your dream and did everything you wanted to do," Ning Youguang said.
"You’re right," Xia Youqing nodded, "but recently, I’ve felt that I’ve let you and Yiyi down. I think so of what I’ve accomplished ca at the cost of your and Yiyi’s happy childhood. I don’t feel like I’ve been a good mom or a good wife."
It’s rare, after living two lives, to finally see her mom starting to reflect on her own issues.
"No matter how much regret you feel now, the past cannot be changed or redone," Ning Youguang smiled slightly, "What you need to do now is to cherish and enjoy each present mont, and be the you who doesn’t let yourself down."
Xia Youqing looked gloomy, "You’re right, but I can’t do it."
"Then think of it this way," Ning Youguang’s eyes flickered slightly, "Your past and present are just different phases of life, like being brave when running, and now being composed and relaxed after climbing over mountains and crossing rivers. They’re all songs of life and worth celebrating."
Xia Youqing finally felt comforted.
Feeling a bit better, she perked up to continue, "Many job offers have co my way this year, but I’ve turned them down. The ones I accept are those where I can make a round trip within a week. Now I’m also visiting your Uncle Xie’s company.
Ning Youguang listened quietly.
"But I found there isn’t much I can help with there. I want to assist him but can’t do much," Xia Youqing beca troubled again. "I’ve arranged to et a few old friends for afternoon tea, but I realized I don’t know what they’re interested in or what they find fun. I don’t enjoy their discussions, which makes feel out of place. I don’t know if there’s sothing wrong with my mindset or with their lives."
"What’s there to be conflicted about?" Ning Youguang said, "You live in different circles, so it’s natural to have different knowledge and skills. There’s nothing at Uncle Xie’s company for you to do because you were never involved before."
"I’ve considered all of this," Xia Youqing said, "but I just feel like there’s always sothing unsatisfactory, sothing that doesn’t sit right with ."
"For example, my friends are still bragging about how many relationships they’ve had, like the more, the prouder. Why do they even discuss these things? To prove their attractiveness?! What’s the point in proving that? Who can be more attractive than ? But have I ever said a word about this? I think they’re really low..." Xia Youqing pursed her lips, "But they an no harm; I just don’t like hearing it, and it’s no fun being with them. Such afternoon teas are not joyful. And then there’s your Uncle Xie. He’s so fat, yet he eats at and drinks every day without thinking of losing weight. If I try to exercise with him, he just goofs off."
Ning Youguang sighed heavily inside, thinking her mom should just continue working in showbiz, staying busy with work.
Otherwise, she’d stay ho finding faults with everything and everyone, being overly annoying!
"Where’s Uncle Xie?"
She interrupted her mom’s complaints.
"Out for a run," Xia Youqing said.
"Isn’t that exercise?" Ning Youguang said, "It’s raining outside, and you call this goofing off?"
"He’s doing okay for the past couple of days," Xia Youqing said, "He only exercises when he’s in the mood; otherwise, he won’t even step into the gym."
"Well, that just ans Uncle Xie doesn’t like to exercise," Ning Youguang said, exasperated, "Just like you like exercise but don’t like doing housework. Everyone’s personalities and preferences are different. You can’t force soone to live your way, and when others don’t et your expectations, you’re dissatisfied. Isn’t that being domineering?!"
"I’m saying this for his own good," Xia Youqing sat up straight, "He can’t get healthier without eating less and exercising more."
"Uncle Xie has been living like this for years, and no one’s said anything bad about him," Ning Youguang glanced across the room and noticed that at so point, Grandma Xie and Shi Wangyue had left, so she couldn’t help but continue, "Besides, ’good’ or ’bad’ for others only exists in your eyes. The side you choose to see determines your mindset towards them. Now that you’re ho more and closer to Uncle Xie, there are naturally more conflicts and friction. When emotions get involved, it’s hard to see the full picture."
Xia Youqing was dumbfounded by her words.
Ning Youguang didn’t soften her tone, "If you want to have a good life with Uncle Xie in the future, it’s ti to let go of your bias, arrogance, and self-righteousness."
"In this world, nothing can be drained unconditionally, especially not love," her voice softened slightly, "Uncle Xie is already patient and willing to listen to you. Imagine if he picked faults in you every day; do you think you could stay together?"
"I couldn’t," Xia Youqing thought for a mont and shook her head, "But what would I even have for him to find fault with?"
Ning Youguang’s gaze turned sharp, "Are you sure you don’t have any flaws?"
Xia Youqing remained silent in response.
Ning Youguang continued, "If you’re not sure, then be more tolerant of those around you; otherwise, you’ll end up without friends or lovers."
"I’m not intolerant," Xia Youqing’s face turned alternatingly pale and flushed.
Ning Youguang said, "So you think you’re very tolerant?"
"Not really," Xia Youqing shook her head.
"Either be tolerant or don’t be," Ning Youguang said coldly, "There is no middle ground; all middle grounds are paradoxes and avoidance."
Xia Youqing was completely stunned.
Ning Youguang said nothing more and resud eating cherries.
She let her sit there silently.
Xia Youqing looked at her daughter’s calm deanor, with expressions changing on her face.
After a long ti, she cautiously asked, "Are you dissatisfied with in any way?"
Ning Youguang glanced at her indifferently, "No."
"Then why are you like this now?" All of Xia Youqing’s assertiveness deflated.
"Because I don’t want you to ruin your own happiness," Ning Youguang said heavily.
Xia Youqing’s heart fluttered anxiously, "I’m just saying this to you; in front of others, I’m not like this." 1314
User Comments
0 comments from readers