As Stuart Bloom In TBBT Chapter 36: The Penthouse Move

Novel: As Stuart Bloom In TBBT Author: WhatIf4132 Updated: Jun 03, 2026

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Now reading: Chapter 36: The Penthouse Move from As Stuart Bloom In TBBT, a Adventure novel by WhatIf4132.

The U-Haul truck blocks half the street.

Sheldon's on the sidewalk with a clipboard. "According to my calculations, if we move furniture in order of volutric efficiency—"

"Sheldon, we're just carrying boxes upstairs."

"Chaos is the enemy of—"

"—efficiency. Got it." I grab the nearest box. "Let's just get this done."

Leonard appears from the truck bed, struggling with my mattress. "Little help?"

Howard jumps up to assist, imdiately pinching his hand between mattress and truck fra. "Ow! Fuck!"

"That's the second ti you've injured yourself helping move furniture," I point out.

"First was the wall demolition. This is different." He sucks his thumb. "Still counts as helping."

Raj erges from my old studio apartnt carrying a box labeled COMICS - VALUABLE. He's treating it like nitroglycerin.

"I have your treasures! Please tell these are insured!"

"It's just back issues, Raj."

"JUST? These could be priceless!"

lissa's directing traffic from the lobby. "Boxes to the left, furniture to the right. Sheldon, move your clipboard station. You're blocking the entrance."

"My organizational system requires—"

"Move it or I'll move it for you."

He relocates imdiately. Smart man.

The penthouse elevator takes us three at a ti.

First trip up, Leonard whistles at the space. "This is—wow."

"Two thousand square feet of wow," I correct.

"Your studio was maybe four hundred." He sets down the mattress. "You really leveled up."

Sheldon enters with his clipboard, imdiately starts pacing the room. "Optimal furniture arrangent requires assessnt of natural light patterns, traffic flow, and social gathering logistics."

"Or I could just put stuff where it looks good."

"That's aesthetically subjective and functionally inadequate."

"Sheldon. It's my apartnt."

He pauses. Considers. "Nevertheless, I've prepared schematics."

He produces a three-page docunt with scale drawings and furniture placent algorithms. The man prepared AUTOCAD diagrams for my furniture.

"When did you have ti for this?"

"I don't sleep much."

Fair point.

By noon, we've moved everything upstairs.

My possessions look pathetic in the massive space. Studio apartnt furniture—futon, small desk, two chairs—barely fills the living room. The master bedroom swallows my mattress and dresser.

"You need more stuff," Howard observes.

"Thanks, Howard."

"I'm serious. This looks like a squatter situation. Rich squatter, but still."

lissa's asuring the second bedroom. "This could be an office. Get a proper desk, shelving, maybe a couch for when people visit."

"Or a gaming room," Raj suggests. "Big screen, multiple consoles, comfortable seating."

"Or a library," Leonard offers. "Build floor-to-ceiling bookshelves."

Sheldon's been quiet, studying the balcony through the windows. Finally: "The balcony's three hundred square feet. We could move ga night here. Superior to apartnt 4A's cramped conditions."

"Hey—" Leonard starts.

"It's objectively larger with better ventilation and city views."

"Sheldon has a point," I admit. "Alternate locations? 4A so weeks, here other weeks?"

Leonard considers. "That's... actually fair."

"Accepted." Sheldon makes a note on his clipboard. "I'll draft a schedule."

Furniture placent becos a group project.

Sheldon wants the couch positioned for optimal television viewing angles. Leonard argues for conversation-circle orientation. Howard suggests "bachelor pad sexy," which lissa vetoes imdiately.

Raj just wants the plants positioned according to feng shui principles.

"There are no plants," I point out.

"Which is why the energy flow is disrupted! You need living elents!"

We compromise: couch faces TV but angled for conversation, room layout balances flow and functionality, no bachelor pad aesthetic, and I promise to buy a plant.

The desk goes in the second bedroom—lissa's right, proper office space makes sense. My comic collection gets temporary shelving until I can buy real bookcases.

By 3 PM, we're exhausted.

Penny appears at the door with a six-pack. "Heard there was furniture-related chaos. Brought supplies."

"Penny!" Raj lights up. "You should see Stuart's new place!"

She whistles, scanning the space. "Damn. You really did level up. This is—Stuart, this is a penthouse."

"I'm aware."

"Last ti I saw you, you were in that depressing studio." She hands a beer. "Now you're living like an actual successful person."

"Fake it till you make it?"

"You're not faking anymore."

We order pizza because nobody has energy to cook.

Five pies for six people. Pepperoni, supre, veggie (Raj), Hawaiian (controversial), and Sheldon's custom order with exactly three toppings arranged in specific patterns.

"This is nice," lissa says, settling onto the futon. "First al in the new place."

Leonard raises his beer. "To Stuart's inexplicable success."

"Hey—"

"I'm joking. Mostly." He grins. "To Stuart's well-deserved success and continued baffling investnt wins."

"The Bitcoin thing is still imaginary money," Howard adds.

"It's worth thirty cents per coin now," I ntion casually.

Dead silence.

"That's—wait." Leonard's calculating. "How many coins did you buy?"

"So."

"Stuart."

"Enough that it's up six tis my investnt."

Howard chokes on his pizza. Raj starts praying in Hindi. Sheldon pulls out his phone calculator.

"Your initial investnt was approximately fifteen hundred dollars," Sheldon states. "Six tis return equals nine thousand dollars. That's a 500% gain in eight months."

"Math checks out."

"That's not luck. That's statistical anomaly."

"Or good timing."

"Stuart." Leonard's serious now. "You're up nine thousand on Bitcoin, how much on Apple?"

"Don't answer that," lissa interrupts. "It's his money. Let him enjoy the pizza."

"Thank you."

But the mood's shifted. They're all watching differently. Calculating. Wondering.

Too specific. Keep revealing wins and they'll start asking harder questions.

Penny breaks the tension: "Whatever Stuart's doing, it's working. Maybe we should all listen to his crazy investnt ideas."

"I advised you to buy Apple at twelve dollars," I remind her.

"And I spent that money on auditions instead."

"Fair choice."

"Terrible choice, in hindsight."

The conversation shifts to Penny's acting career, relieving the pressure. But I catch Leonard and Sheldon exchanging glances.

They're noticing the pattern.

Need to be more careful.

After everyone leaves, lissa and I stand on the balcony.

The city spreads below us—lights beginning to glow in the November dusk. Sowhere down there is the studio apartnt I left this morning. Four hundred square feet of rock bottom.

"Fourteen months," I say.

"What?"

"Fourteen months ago, I was broke and terrified. Living in that studio, opening a shop I was convinced would fail."

"And now you're here."

"And now I'm here."

She leans against the railing. "You know what's crazy? Watching you transform. You weren't like this when we t."

"Like what?"

"Confident. Successful. Like you belong in a penthouse." She turns to face . "Sotis I wonder who you were before. Before the shop, before the success. You don't talk about it much."

The tingle flares. Warning.

Don't explain. Deflect.

"Nobody likes who they were when they were failing. I'm just glad I'm not that person anymore."

"But you were that person for a reason. What changed?"

Everything. I died and absorbed temporal knowledge in the void between dinsions.

"I started trying. Really trying. Stopped accepting failure as inevitable." I pull her close. "And I t you. That changed things."

She accepts this. Kisses my cheek.

But the question lingers between us.

Who was Stuart Bloom before I beca him?

What happened to create this transformation?

She's right to wonder.

And I can never tell her.