As Stuart Bloom In TBBT Chapter 71: The Christmas Shopping

Novel: As Stuart Bloom In TBBT Author: WhatIf4132 Updated: Jun 03, 2026

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Now reading: Chapter 71: The Christmas Shopping from As Stuart Bloom In TBBT, a Adventure novel by WhatIf4132.

The vintage calculator sits in a glass case at the collectibles store in Glendale.

HP-35. First handheld scientific calculator. 1974 model. Mint condition.

mory supplies the mont. September 2007. Sheldon ntioned wanting one of these. Complained they're impossible to find in good condition. Said it represented a pivotal mont in computational history.

Price tag: $650.

Worth it.

"I'll take that one," I tell the clerk.

"The HP-35? It's a collector's piece."

"I'm aware."

"For yourself?"

"Gift."

"Lucky recipient."

You have no idea.

Leonard's gift requires different hunting.

Physics paper. Specific author. Specific topic.

mory: October 2008. Leonard ntioned wanting a signed copy of Hawking's paper on black hole information paradoxes. Said his advisor had one but wouldn't loan it.

I call university archives at Caltech. They don't have signed copies. Try UCLA. Nothing. Finally reach out through Marvel contacts—soone knows soone whose professor collected signed physics papers.

Three phone calls later: signed Hawking paper, $900.

Highway robbery.

Worth it.

Howard's easy once I rember.

July 2009. Howard examining a specialized torque wrench at hardware store. Muttering about how NASA uses these for satellite construction. Too expensive to justify for ho projects.

Military-spec torque wrench. $380. Ships from specialized supplier.

Done.

Raj requires research.

mory: June 2009. Raj ntioning his grandmother sent the best masala chai mix but she's getting too old to make it. Specific blend from his childhood.

I call import stores in Little India. Fourth shop recognizes the description—special blend, discontinued, but the owner knows a supplier in Mumbai who still makes small batches.

"Very expensive to import," he warns.

"How expensive?"

"Two hundred dollars for half-kilo."

"I'll take it."

Penny's gift breaks my budget.

Wonder Woman original comic art. Not a print. Actual ink work from issue #17 of the recent run—the issue we read together when I was teaching her about comics. The one that made her cry.

The gallery wants $1,200.

I negotiate to $800 by buying two other pieces for the shops.

Still expensive.

Still worth it.

Christmas Eve. My penthouse.

The gang arrives at seven. Tree in the corner—Penny insisted, decorated it herself with ornants that are half traditional, half comic characters.

"Gifts!" she announces. "Everyone sit. Stuart has surprises."

"I dislike surprises," Sheldon says.

"You'll like these."

I start with Sheldon. Hand him the wrapped box.

He opens it carefully. Preserving paper. Examining the case.

"This is—" He opens it. "—an HP-35. Nineteen seventy-four model. In mint condition."

"You ntioned wanting one."

"I ntioned that—" He's calculating. "—over two years ago. Once. In passing."

"I pay attention."

"This is—" He's actually emotional. "—exceptional. Thank you."

"You're welco."

Leonard next. The signed paper.

"Stuart. This is—" He's reading the signature. "—actually signed by Hawking. From nineteen eighty-six. This is worth—"

"Don't tell . I don't want to know."

"How did you find this?"

"Made so calls. Marvel contacts know people."

"Stuart, I—thank you. Really."

Howard opens his. Sees the torque wrench. His face transforms.

"This is NASA-spec. I—you rembered looking at this? That was months ago."

"I rember."

"This is—" He's actually tearing up. "—the coolest gift I've ever gotten."

Raj opens his chai mix. Slls it. Closes his eyes.

"This is my grandmother's blend. The one from childhood. How—"

"Import store in Little India. They had connections in Mumbai."

"Stuart, this is—" He's crying now. Fully crying. "—perfect. Thank you."

Bernadette got custom lab equipnt I ordered through Penny's pharmaceutical contacts. Amy got a neuroscience text she ntioned wanting. Everyone's gift is exactly right.

Then Penny opens hers.

The frad original art from Wonder Woman #17.

She's silent. Just staring.

"Stuart."

"It's from the issue we read together. Your favorite."

"This is—original art. This is—" She's crying. "—nobody's ever understood like this."

"Understanding you is my favorite thing."

She kisses . In front of everyone. Long and deep.

"Get a room," Howard jokes weakly.

"This is my room," I point out.

"Fair."

Later. Everyone's gone ho. Penny's curled against on the couch.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Get the perfect gift for everyone. Like, impossibly perfect. Things they ntioned once months ago."

"I pay attention."

"Nobody pays attention that well."

"I have a good mory."

"Stuart." She sits up. Looks at directly. "Sotis you're—I don't know. It's like you know things you shouldn't know. See things you shouldn't see."

My heart stops.

"Like what?"

"Like—you knew I'd like Wonder Woman before I even tried it. You knew Leonard wanted that paper. You knew about Raj's grandmother's chai. These aren't things you could just rember. They're—" She struggles. "—too specific. Too perfect."

"I just listen well."

"Nobody listens that well." She's not accusing. Just confused. "It's like you can read minds. Or see the future. Or—I don't know. Sothing."

"Penny—"

"I'm not asking you to explain. I'm just—" She touches my face. "—saying I notice. The way you always know what people need. How your business decisions always work out. How you won eleven thousand dollars in Vegas. It's not normal."

"Maybe I'm just lucky."

"Maybe." She doesn't believe it. "Or maybe you're sothing else. Sothing you can't explain."

"If I was sothing else, would that matter?"

"No. I'd still love you." She kisses gently. "I'd just want to understand."

"So things can't be explained."

"I know." She settles back against . "But Stuart? Whatever your secret is. Whatever makes you—you. I'm glad you're using it to help people. That matters more than the how."

She falls asleep.

I stay awake.

She's getting close to the truth.

Too close.

And I can't tell her.

Can never tell her.

That distance—the secret between us—might destroy this eventually.

But for now, she's sleeping on my chest. My friends are happy with their perfect gifts. Christmas is warm and bright.

I'll take it.

For as long as it lasts.

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