What did I do wrong to Kang Kiyeon?
When did he start resenting ?
Kang Kiyeon’s eyes were bloodshot. A scene flashed through my mind.
The day I woke up in the hospital room after being beaten by Yoo Hansoo, Kang Kiyeon staring down at with an impassive expression.
‘Aren’t you even angry, hyung?’
‘About what?’
‘Aren’t you thinking about anything other than us being shocked and reporting Yoo Hansoo?’
Compared to now, he had been strangely calm back then.
‘I stopped Jeho hyung earlier because he was too agitated, but hyung, you too…’
And then Kiyeon had added…
…that he wished I would tone it down sotis. That it made them feel like fools for worrying.
But what did that have to do with this situation?
As I struggled to understand, Kang Kiyeon spoke.
“I told you before. It feels like only we end up looking like fools because of you, hyung.”
“…….”
“You’re asking what you did wrong? If it’s uncomfortable for because you’re here?”
Kang Kiyeon abruptly stood up. His breathing was ragged.
“Hyung, you really… have a knack for pissing people off.”
He stord into a room, slamming the door open as if he was going to break it down.
My room.
When he ca back out, he was carrying my suitcase.
“You said you were fine.”
He muttered, his voice strained.
“You said you were used to it. You said you weren’t in pain. You said you weren’t lying.”
“Kiyeon, wait.”
Kiyeon opened the suitcase without hesitation. His hand reached for the zipper of the ziplock bag inside.
“Kiyeon!”
Even as I called out his na, he didn’t stop.
With a ripping sound, the zipper opened, and empty painkiller bottles and pill wrappers tumbled out. The plastic bottles and tallic foil wrappers clattered against the floor.
“Even after this, you think you have the right to tell to get counseling? What about you? Do you think this is normal?”
Kang Kiyeon’s face twisted. He looked distressed.
“You’re still asking if I’m the only problem? Soone is barely holding on, and you think I should go to the hospital just because I get a little nervous? ? With what face? Get a grip. You’re the one who needs counseling or a hospital!”
Kiyeon shouted, his face flushed.
My head hung low. I couldn’t face him.
As my gaze fell on the scattered pill bottles, sothing suddenly ca to mind.
≫ So what’s the deal with LCH’s drug addiction?
Was he a real druggie?
└ No, he was just addicted to painkillers
└ You can get addicted to painkillers? I had no idea;;;
≫ Only Lee Cheonghyeon got screwed over
Fans left thinking he was on drugs, but he wasn’t
It would have been less unfair if he’d actually been on drugs
└ I know he didn’t do anything wrong, but the agency’s response made lose faith and leave the fandom……They kept quiet while fans were getting bashed, and in the end, they made him apologize live for an hour, what a joke
≫ Still, addiction is addiction
I left my previous fandom because of a druggie, and now it happens here too
└ Isn’t this situation a bit different…? Painkiller overuse is way more common than you think
└ Just search it up, you’ll see regular headache ds don’t cause addictionㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Nice try defending
└ ‘Usually’ doesn’t an the possibility is 0…Depending on the ingredients, you can get addicted, or it can turn into chronic headaches, making it impossible to stop taking the pills. It’s a dangerous habit to believe only what you’ve read in a couple of articles
≫ But he did do sothing that could be misunderstood
Everyone in that group tested positive, but only Chungkwang tested negative? Who would believe that lol
└ Stop talking bullsh*t. As if UA would spend money to manipulate test results to cover up an artist’s scandal
└ Even if he wasn’t on drugs, his behavior was suspicious enoughㅋㅋㅋ Who told him to befriend ‘those’ idols?
└ Deleted comnt
└ Deleted comnt
└ Deleted comnt
Lee Cheonghyeon—who beca addicted to the sa headache dicine I used.
Jeong Seongbin—who was bullied by Jang Junhoo for years.
Choi Jeho—who had a troubled ho because of an immature father…
‘Why are they all so similar to ?’
If it were just one or two people, I would have dismissed it as a coincidence.
But taking the sa dication? That was suspicious. Especially when Kang Kiyeon, right in front of , was breathing the sa way I had when I’d collapsed in the bathroom at Hyeonpyeong Industry.
“See?”
Kang Kiyeon’s voice interrupted my runaway thoughts.
His dry gaze was fixed on .
“A mber is rummaging through your bag, revealing everything you’ve been hiding, making a ss, and you’re thinking about sothing else.”
“Kiyeon, that’s…”
“Sotis I wonder if you’re even human.”
Of course I was surprised. And flustered.
But I’d entrusted all my negative emotions to sothing called system.
And before that, this whole series of events was too suspicious.
So…
“You asked why I’m anxious, right?”
Kang Kiyeon’s body trembled. I could hear his teeth chattering.
“I don’t have the confidence to tear myself apart and rebuild like you do, hyung. I know I depend on you too much. Maybe that’s why. I can’t relax because I don’t know when you’ll collapse, and even when you seem fine, I’m suspicious that it’s a lie.”
“…….”
“I can’t trust you. I’m scared you’ll die sowhere. You might not care, but that’s how I feel. You might have forgotten, but I still rember that day.”
With tears welling up in his eyes, Kang Kiyeon continued his accusations.
“You’re not that kind of person, but I’m worried about when you’ll be criticized by people again. To , there’s no one more perfect than you, but if soone like you gets criticized, I fear that soone like will just be forgotten and ridiculed by the public. Is that enough for you?”
“Kiyeon.”
“I’m trying, too. I read fan letters over and over again to remind myself that there are more people supporting us than hating us, and I try not to overthink the complints you guys give .”
“…….”
“But still, what can I do when the bad thoughts won’t stop?”
Kiyeon’s voice was a mixture of resignation and passionate outburst.
“Don’t say you hid it for our sake. That’s not kindness—that’s selfishness.”
He spoke haltingly, but his words cut deeply.
“It’s because of you. That I’m anxious.”
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
.
.
.
The system notifications rang. No further explanation was needed.
* * *
Jeong Seongbin was the one who stepped in to defuse the situation.
He took Kang Kiyeon to his room. Park Joowoo followed, giving us a look before closing the door.
Suddenly, only Choi Jeho, Lee Cheonghyeon, and I were left in the living room.
“Ha…”
A deep sigh escaped . I rubbed my face roughly with my hands.
As I squatted down to pick up the trash, sothing landed next to . A garbage bag.
I looked up to see Lee Cheonghyeon looking down at .
“Why are you putting that in your bag? Aren’t you going to throw it away?”
“……I will.”
“I’ll separate the plastic. You take the general waste. Jeho hyung, please fold the cardboard box.”
Lee Cheonghyeon squatted down beside and started sorting out the large pill bottles.
“They’re all empty. 30 pills each, how many are there?”
“He can probably hear us.”
“You think Kiyeon didn’t see? He’s figured it all out. I don’t think you have a say in this anymore.”
His tone was playful, but there was no smile on his face.
“Since when?”
“If you’re talking about starting the dication, it hasn’t been long.”
“So you took all of this in that short ti?”
That was my daily routine at the Hanpyeong Industry, man.
“Why does your head hurt? Explain properly. Or I’m calling Chanyoung hyung right now and telling him there might be side effects from your surgery.”
Lee Cheonghyeon rummaged through the suitcase, making sure there was no more trash, and spoke firmly.
“It’s a chronic headache. I’ve always had it.”
“It wasn’t bad enough for you to take dicine when we were trainees.”
“Can’t you just let it slide? I thought I was answering properly.”
“Did you answer? You got exposed.”
When a few more pill wrappers ca out of my hand, Lee Cheonghyeon furrowed his brow.
“I was going to keep quiet because I might hurt your feelings, but now I understand why Kang Kiyeon said you don’t seem human.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not hurt by that.”
“That’s the problem, among other things.”
Choi Jeho, who had finished folding the cardboard box, stood up while Cheonghyeon and I were talking. He held the neatly folded boxes, ready for recycling.
“Are there no side effects?”
“From this? Well, there’s a recomnded daily dose.”
“How many pills is that?”
“Less than eight, I think.”
“And you?”
“I try to stick to the recomnded dose.”
“Sure you do.”
Choi Jeho let out a hollow laugh as he looked at the amount of trash.
“It’s not like I’m taking them recklessly. I took them like this for years before, and I was fine.”
I said that to reassure them, but their expressions only darkened.
“When was that?”
“When I was a student.”
I vaguely answered, avoiding ntioning my past work life in case I incurred a penalty for revealing heavenly secrets. Lee Cheonghyeon sighed.
“Kang Kiyeon is right. We should have sent you to the hospital first.”
“Let’s talk about that later. The dorm is a ss right now.”
“When later? After you collapse from a nosebleed? Or when your suitcase is overflowing with trash?”
“It’s not about that.”
Lee Cheonghyeon irritably threw the plastic containers into the recycling bin.
“We’re in the middle of promotions. We have a fansign tomorrow and promotional activities for ‘In My Office.’ You’re saying we should give all that up?”
“…….”
“Fans aren’t streaming and buying albums to see us promote with a missing mber. I can understand trying to minimize Kiyeon’s absence, but we can’t create another vacancy.”
I already had a record of missing self-produced content and live streams due to the Yoo Hansoo incident. I didn’t want to add to the fandom’s anxiety, especially during promotions, with another issue.
Could you even call soone an idol if they only caused their fans to worry? What about the people who looked to for strength? I couldn’t keep taking without giving back.
“My turn cos after Kiyeon makes a full recovery. No compromises.”
I tightly tied the small garbage bag shut.
“But if you et my condition, I’ll do whatever you say without complaint.”
This was my way of showing that I was willing to compromise. Lee Cheonghyeon wasn’t naive enough to miss it.
It was late. But I didn’t think I could sleep.
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