Author: LyraDhani
My sister died in an accident. A traffic accident caused by a car rushing onto the sidewalk. She passed away right there on the scene, without even a chance to be moved to an ambulance.
However, her belongings were scattered away from where the accident happened.
The scene’s CCTV footage captured a massive car about to strike a child waiting for the pedestrian signal behind the safety line.
My sister, standing next to the child, threw aside all her bags and phone and ran toward the child. The detective pressed the pause button the mont she embraced the child and turned her back to the car. That was the last image I saw of my sister.
A sister who might not have died crossed over to the other side, and a child who might have lost their life survived by a hair’s breadth. We, the families of the two whose fates were divided between life and death, t for the first ti in that white hallway, reunited in a place ant for farewells.
What should I have said in that mont?
In front of , unable to speak, the two people bowed deeply. Their precariously trembling shoulders were painful just to look at, forcing to turn my gaze away.
‘We are sorry.’
People who had done nothing wrong were apologizing. The loss was too great to simply decline their apology.
‘We should have brought the child, but they are in such shock that we couldn’t bring them along.’
There could have been nothing more sudden and dangerous than a mid-sized car speeding toward a child quietly waiting for the signal.
The child might have been held in the warm embrace of family before, but it must have been the first ti being held by a stranger whose heart had stopped beating.
Amid the screams of passersby and the blare of sirens, who could possibly remain unscathed?
‘We are sorry, we are sorry…..’
Received help but unable to say thank you; grieving but unable to cry in front of ; people who could do nothing to soothe my sorrow kept bowing and apologizing repeatedly.
I looked alternately between the two people and the ceiling of the mortuary.
Thinking of the sister I knew, there was only one thing I could say.
‘Is the child okay?’
As I asked, the sensation that had been floating in the air returned.
I had acknowledged it. That my sister had crossed a river from which she could never return.
That all those left behind could do was take care of what remained.
The child’s mother broke down. Veins bulged blue on the father’s hand.
I tried not to cry. I held back tears, breathing roughly.
The mont of letting my sister go from my heart was terribly lonely.
*
Sitting down and standing up repeatedly in that narrow space, I lost track of ti.
In the anti, my phone rang several tis. Calls for handling the accident, and aningless calls from the company.
I answered so and ignored others. From a certain point, after stating my intention not to settle with the perpetrator, I sat in front of my sister, cut off from the outside world.
Except for Manager Ahn, who had heard the news, and a few college classmates, all the mourners were my sister’s acquaintances. Everyone tried to take care of , even though they had lost a friend in vain at a young age.
Perhaps because of that. Even though it was painful, I wasn’t hurt. I was sad, but not miserable. It was suffocatingly hard, but not enough to die.
Until those people set foot inside.
‘Who is that standing next to the money box? Shouldn’t soone tell them that the funeral director is responsible for this, or at least the relatives?’
At the familiar voice, I staggered up from my seat. A few people were gathered at the entrance of the mortuary.
Instinctively sensing a crisis, one of my sister’s classmates blocked the condolence money box with their body. A middle-aged man grabbed the shoulder of a thin woman.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’
At my words, everyone’s gaze turned to .
‘Do you have any sense at all? How dare you entrust such a large amount of money to soone else?’
It was my mother’s voice, heard for the first ti in years. Eyes I hadn’t faced since even longer ago pierced my heart like awls.
I felt like throwing up.
As soon as they arrived, the two tried to open the condolence money box. I stopped a quarrel from breaking out over their unreasonable behavior while the funeral wasn’t even over.
They were people from whom I expected nothing anyway. I just wanted to send my sister off quietly.
My sister tried to do the minimum expected of a child. If they had co here under the justification that they gave birth to and raised her, I didn’t think I had the right to stop them.
‘So this is all the mourners a kid who claid to be working in society managed to get?’
‘Wait. Bring the guestbook.’
The conversation they shared while checking the condolence money and their deep sighs leaked out entirely.
‘Pathetic girl. If she had thought about what her parents invested in her, she should have gotten married before leaving.’
‘If she had a straight enough head to live thinking about such things, would she have gone so early? Leaving before your parents without even fulfilling your duties—that’s the ultimate unfilial act.’
I had a burning desire to ask the funeral director if I could turn the portrait around. I didn’t want to show her this sight.
I wanted her to leave this place thinking, At least the people I considered family ca to see at the end, and not have her final journey weighed down.
Or maybe I was just exhausted.
‘Kim Hyoil.’
My dad called . When I just sat still and looked up, the guestbook flew at my head.
‘Where did you stash the money?’
‘What are you doing right now?’
A few of my sister’s friends, who couldn’t intervene because it was a family matter, blocked my dad’s path.
‘You bastard, I knew it from the mont you entrusted the money box to a stranger. You were planning to bla that person later, weren’t you? Say so stranger pocketed it?
‘Do you think everyone in the world is like you?’
‘What?’
‘That’s enough. You’re going to take all the condolence money anyway. No one’s trying to steal it, so don’t make a bigger scene.’
I lowered my voice, afraid my sister would hear. However, my dad’s voice grew louder.
I saw, flickering before my eyes, my sister’s friend who had tearfully begged , saying there would be so many expenses after the funeral. My ears rang.
‘It’s useless raising kids. One leaves without even doing the basics, and the other throws away the na we gave him and lives however he wants.’
Even as the insults carved away at my body like a carving knife, I felt nothing. My head was just blank.
‘And the son’s lying around uselessly, no backbone at all. All that’s left is a burden—how fitting.’
‘I told you to stop. Just stay still until the funeral is over. If you have sothing to say, say it then….’
‘Is that why you didn’t answer the settlent calls and dragged it out?’
Whatever had been filling my head was swept away like sand by a single word.
‘Settlent?’
‘Since you were acting like this, they finally called us.’
Calls I hadn’t answered from so point ca to mind belatedly. Why hadn’t I realized sooner that the barrage of contact had suddenly been cut in half?
‘Did you… settle?’
My voice trembled. My vision blurred, so I had to lean against the wall to stand up.
Clutching my throbbing head and barely opening my eyes, I saw my dad’s face, looking as if nothing was wrong.
‘He seed sincerely remorseful. Seeing as he compensated us generously.’
One of my sister’s friends standing between and my dad covered her mouth. The surroundings were so quiet that not even the sound of breathing could be heard.
‘The living have to live.’
Why did those words sound like sothing spoken from another world?
‘….You settled.’
‘If you had just communicated properly from the start—’
‘What kind of communication do you have with soone worse than an animal? How does a human talk to livestock? I guess you can talk since you’re on the sa level?’
‘What did you just say?’
‘You should think again about what you said. Saying you settled with the guy who killed your daughter, is that sothing a human being says?’
Calling her ‘daughter’ made bile rise. I felt dizzy. My eyes wouldn’t focus.
‘Money? Must’ve been a lot. You think a bastard who drinks in broad daylight and drives a sedan wouldn’t have money? And you happily took it?’
‘Do you think we accepted it because we wanted to? What do we gain if he goes to prison! The living have to live!’
‘If you can’t live without selling your daughter’s life, then you should just die!’
People tried to pull my father and apart. I shook off the hands restraining and scread with everything I had.
‘If the unrecovered congratulatory and condolence money was that precious, one of you should have gone first. Then the remaining one would have lived just fine! Why co looking for the kids you abandoned?’
I didn’t even hope for them to feel a pang of conscience.
But still, this wasn’t right. You shouldn’t insult a person to this extent.
‘Is there any child who grew up with as little as noona did and still did everything she was supposed to? Can you honestly say you raised noona with your hand on your heart? Do you want to show such an ugly side until the very end?’
Even if they grabbed the condolence money before the funeral ended, even if they cursed her for leaving without fulfilling her filial duty—
‘No matter how less of a human you are. How can you settle before even sending noona off!’
Even if I’d never truly held them in my heart—
‘The funeral procession hasn’t even started, how is selling off your child so easy for you…?’
You shouldn’t have done this.
“….Hyung.”
You shouldn’t have trampled on her end.
“….Iwol hyung!”
To , maybe, but not to noona.
“Hyung, wake up!”
My body shook violently. Gasping as if vomiting out my breath, I woke from the dream.
The first thing I saw upon waking was Jeong Seongbin’s face, pale as a sheet. He swept his hand over his chest in relief, saying he woke up because he thought I was having sleep paralysis.
My whole body was drenched in cold sweat. My breathing was ragged, and my hands trembled. My head spun, so I touched my forehead and closed my eyes.
“Shall I bring you so water?”
“No, I’m okay. ….Thanks for waking up.”
Was there anything more horrifying than continuing to have that dream?
It was hard to even open my eyes. I was so dizzy it felt like I might pass out.
“…..Hyung.”
Jeong Seongbin’s voice was heard in my ringing ears. When I barely opened my eyes, the guy who couldn’t leave and was watching spoke.
“Can’t you just not et your parents?”
‘Absolutely do not get it taken away… keep it safe and use it when you need it.’
‘If the company calls, don’t answer.’
Deep kindness choked . Walking into the depths of the mire, I answered.
“Sorry. I can’t do that.”
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