Author: LyraDhani
“….Hyung?”
Lee Cheonghyeon, after a quiet knock, opened the door to the room in front of the entrance.
“You’re here.”
Choi Jeho, sitting on a chair he had brought next to the bed, welcod the two. His hands were massaging the sleeping Kim Iwol’s right arm.
“Is hyung sick?”
Lee Cheonghyeon examined Kim Iwol’s complexion. On his pale face, only the area around his eyes was red.
“And why is his neck like this?”
Gauze and tape were attached to his white neck. The size suggested it would take at least two palms to cover them, leaving Lee Cheonghyeon unable to hide his bewildernt.
“It’s not a serious injury.”
Choi Jeho answered calmly.
“….Is his arm hurt too?”
“Just to help with blood circulation.”
His indifferent expression was the sa as usual, but the atmosphere he exuded was different. It wasn’t irritation or indifference—there was a third emotion mixed in.
‘I know I shouldn’t pity him carelessly. But….’
Jeong Seongbin’s words, heard just monts ago, lingered in the two’s minds.
“Lee Cheonghyeon, Kang Kiyeon.”
“Huh?”
Choi Jeho called the maknaes’ nas. His gaze remained fixed on the sleeping Kim Iwol.
“I think you guys probably understand this kind of thing better than I do, but.”
Pressing firmly on Kim Iwol’s arm, Choi Jeho requested in a subdued voice.
“For the ti being, don’t do anything that might stress Kim Iwol out.”
It was the mont they understood why Im Chanyoung had told them to contact him if needed. Kang Kiyeon answered with difficulty and moved his heavy steps along with his friend.
*
I don’t want to open my eyes.
That was the first thought I had upon waking up.
I was exhausted. It felt as if every last bit of energy had drained out of my body.
With my eyes still closed, I tried to recall what had happened yesterday, but I couldn’t rember most of it. Towards the end, my mind was pitch black as if I had blacked out completely.
The only things I could rember were…
‘Noona was so good to you, how could you do that.’
‘I forget quickly, but noona rembers everything.’
…Only the things I couldn’t say and kept buried deep inside.
I had lived thinking it would have been better not to have a family like ours, but after learning that my sister was abandoned, I selfishly thought, ‘Still, they should have fulfilled at least the minimum responsibility.’
What if she can’t forget being thrown away like that?
What if it stays with her for her entire life, as a painful mory?
Captivated endlessly by this thought, the unbearably sad feelings remained in fragnts throughout my mind.
Was it my fault for having expected anything from my parents in the first place?
Even though I knew they were people you couldn’t expect anything from. How pathetic.
My head throbbed. I pulled the blanket up to the top of my head and curled my body as much as possible.
‘What is noona doing now?’
When I asked into the void, the system appeared.
[SYSTEM] ‘Welfare Service’ usage details
▷ Relation: Blood relative
▷ Health Status: Good
▷ Psychological Status: Good
▷ Others: Sleeping
‘Really?’
I asked even knowing an answer wouldn’t return. IIf I didn’t do even that much, it felt like I might go crazy.
“She must be sleeping in because it’s the weekend……”
Even though I muttered quietly, my voice was dry and raspy like I had swallowed sand.
*
I lay still for a long ti. I just didn’t want to get up.
While I was staring blankly at the ceiling, the door opened.
I thought no one was there because the dorm was quiet. I must have been mistaken.
While debating whether to pretend to sleep again or say I was awake, an unexpected figure showed his face.
“Mr. Iwol? Did you sleep well?”
It was Manager Daeyeon.
He desperately stopped from getting up to greet him. Suddenly, it beca a situation where he was sitting while I was the only one lying down.
“Are you uncomfortable anywhere?”
The manager looked at and asked.
Just how deep did the manager’s kindness go? To soone who seed to have fainted, asking indirectly if I slept well instead of asking if I was sick—how deep must one’s heart be for that to co out naturally? Even my so-called family was busy talking about illness when seeing .
When I answered that I was fine and stayed still, a hand ca up over my head. The back of his hand touched my forehead.
“……”
“The fever has gone down almost completely.”
Then he wrote sothing in his notebook. The scratching sound filled the room.
He was truly an adult. Unlike .
I watched the manager silently. Adults who seed forever unreachable ca to mind. Manager Ahn, noona’s friends, and noona herself, who was the biggest adult to .
“How can I beco mature?”
“Pardon?”
The question popped out on its own. I t eyes with the manager, who didn’t understand the context.
“No, well……”
My head felt hot. Enough to make wonder if the fever really went down.
“In three years, I’ll be twenty-five. If you round that up, it’s thirty, and thirty is half of sixty, so….”
“Hm.”
Even after hearing the ridiculous explanation, the manager didn’t laugh. Instead, he asked seriously.
“Do you want to beco mature, Mr. Iwol?”
I’m not sure.
Whether I want to beco an adult, or if I find myself pathetic for not being able to beco one when I should.
“I think I should at least know how to take care of myself.”
“……”
“But I’m not good at that.”
The truth I wanted to hide leaked out. Admitting that I was a lacking person felt depressing no matter how many tis I experienced it.
“I actually see Mr. Iwol as very mature compared to his peers.”
“Is that so…”
“If we’re talking about maturity, Mr. Iwol is too mature.”
The manager closed his notebook.
“That’s why I’m worried.”
“……”
“Thinking that you don’t have many places to rely on.”
“Do adults need a place to rely on too?”
“Of course.”
His tone suggested it was obvious. Wasn’t an adult soone who could take responsibility for everything on their own? Financially or ntally.
“Whether you’re thirty, in your late twenties, or twenty-two, you still need sowhere to rely on.”
The manager straightened the blanket I’d tugged into a ss and tucked it neatly around .
“Seongbin and Joowoo are adults too, but they rely on you a lot, Mr. Iwol. I also received help from Mr. Jukyung when changing job. Work-wise, I frequently consult with the CEO or Mr. Chanyoung.”
“……”
“It might look like a grown adult failing to be independent, but I think the older you get, the less you should be afraid to accept help.”
My sister’s friends who ca to the funeral ca to mind. Those people who knew my sister’s weaknesses.
“Because you end up with more and more things you’re responsible for. It’s too much to endure alone.”
Seeing them beco a support for my sister, who couldn’t rely on any family mber, my sister must have thought I needed people like that too.
But her brother wasn’t as confident as she was. And didn’t know the value of deep friendships.
So that was why she tried to open the door, right? To create an opportunity for change.
“Isn’t that why they say humans are social animals?”
I think I understand now.
That the hospital card my sister was holding last wasn’t just out of pity for .
Because she hoped my life would change in so way.
It was kindness stemming from the hope that I would find a space to rest my mind and be a little more at ease.
The manager smiled and asked if I needed anything. After pondering, I asked if I could sleep a little more.
“I’ll go to the practice room when I wake up.”
“You don’t have to push yourself.”
At the manager’s words, I shook my head, hoping my intention was conveyed, though slowly.
“I think I’ll feel more at ease that way.”
Just, because I missed everyone.
Saying he understood, the manager drew the curtains for . As the room darkened, drowsiness washed over .
It was the first ti I’d ever said out loud that I wanted to sleep more. Even as I drifted off, that thought was clear.
*
After Kim Iwol fell asleep, Pyeong Daeyeon carefully closed the door and ca out.
Then he texted Min Jukyung. Asking her to call him when she could talk.
The reply ca in two minutes.
— Oh, what is it?
“Can you talk? Isn’t it lunchti?”
— I have work to do, so I said I’d eat separately later. And you? Did you eat lunch? Is Iwol awake?
“I’m going to eat a bit later too. Mr. Iwol woke up briefly but went back to sleep. He must have been tired.”
Over the phone, the sound of Min Jukyung sighing in relief could be heard.
— ….How is Mr. Iwol?
Min Jukyung asked cautiously.
“He wasn’t like yesterday. It must have been exceptionally hard yesterday.”
— Right…
Min Jukyung, who acted as the middle bridge, had blad herself until the end of the workday after what happened yesterday. Though he consoled her, saying that she couldn’t stop it as an employee since all the involved parties wanted to et, she felt terrible for being an adult who couldn’t even persuade them and ended up hurting a kid.
Nevertheless, Pyeong Daeyeon had a favor to ask Min Jukyung.
“Currently, the mbers receiving psychological counseling are Mr. Iwol and Kiyeon, just the two of them, right?”
— That’s right. Why do you ask?
“I think it would be good for the other mbers to talk to soone too.”
Pyeong Daeyeon sat down at the kitchen table.
“It’s not easy to carry on with daily life after seeing soone collapse. Jeho and Seongbin witnessed it especially close up.”
— Yeah…
“I’m worried since they say sothing similar happened before. Even if it’s not just because of this incident, it’s a difficult environnt to work in at a young age, so I think we should take care of that part.”
Pyeong Daeyeon added that he wasn’t blaming her. Min Jukyung laughed softly.
— You’re not coming back to the company today, right? Except for bringing the kids to the dorm at night.
“I decided to take Mr. Iwol to the practice room when he wakes up.”
— He says he’s going to work? You should have told him to rest. Mr. Iwol listens to you.
“Is that so?”
— Among people at the company, he probably listens to you the best.
Pyeong Daeyeon laughed soundlessly.
“Anyway, so I think I’ll go to the company in the afternoon. And pick up the mbers in the evening like you said.”
— It’s tough work.
“Not at all.”
Listening to his colleague’s dejected voice, Pyeong Daeyeon checked the ti and opened his mouth.
“Then you’re eating lunch late today, right?”
— Yeah. Since I’ll probably work overti, it’s better this way, I guess.
“If you have ti, let’s have dinner together. My treat.”
Min Jukyung laughed, asking if it was in return for the al celebrating his employnt. Telling her to think of it however she liked, Pyeong Daeyeon ended the call.
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