Author: LyraDhani
Choi Jeho frowned. Maybe it didn’t suit his taste—he kept roughly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Tastes like sh*t.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I was just curious why people make such a big deal out of drinking this stuff.”
He set the cup down with an audible clunk. The others, who had no idea what was going on, could only stare at us with puzzled expressions.
“My parents are divorced.”
“Huh?”
“My dad was an alcoholic, and he gambled too.”
The guys who hadn’t known anything about Choi Jeho’s family widened their eyes endlessly.
“I don’t et my dad either. I didn’t drink because I was afraid I’d end up like that man.”
“Are you comforting ?”
“I’m saying if you want to live without seeing your family, that’s okay too.”
Even that gruff attempt at comfort moved Lee Cheonghyeon.
“While we’re on the subject, if there’s anything you want to ask, go ahead.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll answer.”
The others didn’t understand my words, but Lee Cheonghyeon knew. That this was an extension of a conversation we had casually shared soti in the past.
“If there’s nothing, go to sleep.”
“No! Talk a bit more!”
Lee Cheonghyeon hit the table. Jeong Seongbin stood up slowly and brought cucumbers sliced into bite-sized pieces from the refrigerator. The kind of move made by soone who sensed the conversation would be long.
Jeong Seongbin and Park Joowoo asked questions endlessly as if they had motors attached to their mouths.
“Who is listed as your guardian, hyung? The company collects ergency contacts, right?”
“I’m a fully grown adult, do I need a guardian? Besides, almost everything gets sorted out by Manager Chanyoung.”
“Is there nothing we can help with…?”
“You’re helping enough right now. If it weren’t for you guys, I almost couldn’t make it to the dorm. I don’t even rember how I got here yesterday.”
LLee Cheonghyeon, especially, didn’t hold back.
“How much do you not rember? Is it like that usually?”
“Only when I’m under severe stress. Usually, I’m fine.”
“Did you ntion this during counseling?”
“I did. I answer sincerely every ti.”
Like rappers, they didn’t give a chance to breathe. I was drained from answering. Seeing Kang Kiyeon asking questions in between, it seed he wasn’t completely devoid of curiosity either.
Even so, not a single one of them tried to poke at the family-related parts. Sohow, they’d all grown more considerate.
“…What about your neck?”
Choi Jeho, who had been quiet, asked. When I slightly lowered my collar to show the freshly dressed bandage, he turned his head away. It seed this much of an answer was enough.
*
Kim Iwol finished a bottle of liquor cleanly by himself. There was no hesitation in his gesture of opening the next bottle. Aside from his face becoming a bit paler, there were no particular changes.
‘So Seongbin hyung wasn’t exaggerating when he said that hyung can really drink.’
Lee Cheonghyeon clicked his tongue inwardly. Choi Jeho liked to say that Kim Iwol had gone on drinking-related broadcasts in his place back in their debut days, but it made one think that such a show wouldn’t have been entirely unsuited for Kim Iwol’s aptitude. Although due to health issues, they wouldn’t send him out anymore.
“Eat sothing while you drink.”
Kang Kiyeon said a word, but Kim Iwol firmly refused.
“If I eat snacks, I’ll gain weight quickly.”
“It’s only cucumbers, what weight would you gain?”
“Yeah, hyung. You’ll ruin your stomach.”
At Jeong Seongbin’s words, Park Joowoo jumped up from his seat. A mont later, Park Joowoo returned holding blanched tofu and stir-fried kimchi.
“Eat this with it too, hyung…”
Chopsticks ca out along with the rarely seen Pororo plate. Kim Iwol ate the snack with a troubled expression, unsure if it paired well.
Watching Kim Iwol chewing tofu, Kang Kiyeon asked.
“….Can I ask how many years apart you are from your sister?”
Lee Cheonghyeon hit Kang Kiyeon’s thigh under the table. Kang Kiyeon didn’t look comfortable either, as if he hadn’t asked thoughtlessly.
“…Years?”
“Huh?”
Kim Iwol’s pronunciation slurred as if mumbling. Since he wasn’t the type to talk with food in his mouth, it seed more like the alcohol than the tofu.
“Not sure, I guess. Seven to nine years…… maybe. Yeah.”
“That’s a big gap.”
“It is on the larger side.”
Kim Iwol was calm, saying it was on the larger side even while saying it wasn’t exact.
Whenever this happened, Lee Cheonghyeon felt a sense of dissonance. Like when he’d asked when Kim Iwol started playing bass, or when he couldn’t quite figure out where Kim Iwol had learned to navigate society so well, and now, too.
“Hyung.”
“Yeah.”
“When you don’t tell us things properly, is it because you don’t trust us, or because there’s a reason?”
Kim Iwol blinked his eyes. His long, black eyelashes moved slowly along with his eyelids.
“At first, it was because I was cautious about trusting anyone.”
“Huh?”
“The reason I still can’t explain properly is because there are circumstances.”
An answer more honest than imagined ca back.
“Why?”
“……”
“Did you think I’d lie?”
“I didn’t expect you to tell us this much.”
“Hiding things doesn’t really make it easier.”
Kim Iwol sipped his drink. No signs of discomfort were visible on his face.
“Then now?”
“Much better.”
Was it because the answer was refreshing? Jeong Seongbin, who had been tense, laughed saying that was a relief.
Kim Iwol finished two bottles cleanly by himself throughout the conversation. He even scolded Choi Jeho like usual.
So no one dared to think that Kim Iwol might be drunk.
“…Doesn’t that hyung seem drunk?”
That was, until Lee Cheonghyeon voiced his suspicion.
Kang Kiyeon jumped when his friend’s voice suddenly went straight into his ear. Rubbing his ear briskly for a mont, he realized what Lee Cheonghyeon said and turned his gaze to Kim Iwol.
“He’s exactly the sa as usual, though?”
Kang Kiyeon whispered along. Lee Cheonghyeon covered his mouth with his hand and said in a small voice.
“He leaned his head on Joowoo hyung.”
“What?”
Kang Kiyeon doubted his ears. However, unfortunately, Lee Cheonghyeon was not the boy who cried wolf. Kim Iwol was really leaning his head on Park Joowoo’s shoulder.
The reverse situation was a common sight, but that one was not. Even if Spark was a group that stuck together like injeolmi that got microwaved wrong—words said by Kim Iwol while selecting group photos—usually, the younger ones leaned on the older ones. This sight was truly rare.
The Kim Iwol who never once stood with his weight on one leg, who always kept his back straight enough to be photoshopped into protractor s. The Kim Iwol who knelt properly when sitting on the floor.
The eldest who never crossed his arms when facing soone, who believed manners showed through posture—that Kim Iwol leaning part of his body on soone else?
It was nothing short of a major incident. Unable to adjust to the unfamiliar situation, Park Joowoo sat rigidly at attention.
“What are you whispering about so much?”
“Look at that. We’re talking without him, so he’s trying to join in. Normally he watches like soone holding a glass from the third floor of an opera house.”
“True.”
Ignoring Kim Iwol’s intervention, Lee Cheonghyeon and Kang Kiyeon muttered seriously without minding.
“He’s definitely drunk.”
“Should I bring a hangover relief drink?”
Seeming to agree with the maknaes’ opinion, Jeong Seongbin asked. In their refrigerator, five bottles of hangover relief drinks, wrapped in bubble wrap when they moved, still remained intact.
“Hyung’s body is cold….”
Park Joowoo also added a word. Choi Jeho suggested clearing the alcohol first, but clicked his tongue upon seeing the bottle completely empty without a drop left.
“A guy who could drink so much soju gets drunk off two tiny bottles of this? He needs to quit drinking. From now on, serious talks happen over grape juice.”
Lee Cheonghyeon shook his head.
“I think it’s because the alcohol content’s high. What’s the percentage on that?”
“Is that written on the bottle?”
Jeong Seongbin turned the small liquor bottle around, looking for the alcohol content. Kang Kiyeon, purely to satisfy curiosity, reached for the remaining bottle but withdrew his hand in surprise at Kim Iwol’s shout.
“Why would a minor touch a liquor bottle……! Give it here. I’ll clean it up.”
“I won’t touch it, so just sit still, please.”
When Kang Kiyeon obediently put his two hands under the table, Kim Iwol beca docile as if nothing happened. Then he leaned his head on Park Joowoo’s shoulder again. It was like a shape-mory alloy.
“Sigh, without our eldest hyung, who will drink as Spark’s representative at company dinners now?”
“I’ll drink.”
“I’ll drink too, Seongbin…!”
“Just say we’re all taking herbal dicine.”
At Lee Cheonghyeon’s question, Jeong Seongbin and Park Joowoo displayed tear-jerking friendship. Choi Jeho suggested a rare ordinary solution, but it didn’t reach the younger ones.
After giggling and joking for a mont, Lee Cheonghyeon rested his chin on his hand and asked.
“Hyung.”
“What?”
“Do you like promoting with us?”
Lee Cheonghyeon swallowed dry saliva. It was a question he had buried until the end, agonizing over whether he should ask or not.
Kim Iwol fell into thought for a mont. Seeing the hyung even crossing his arms, Lee Cheonghyeon thought he shouldn’t have brought it up.
“It’s not a question of whether the work is fun! Just wondering if living with us is okay. I was wondering if you pushed yourself too hard because of your circumstances.”
The explanation grew longer in proportion to Kim Iwol’s silence. Everyone watched Kim Iwol’s reaction. Lee Cheonghyeon sweated profusely.
“I just hope hyung doesn’t consider us too much of a burden……”
Kim Iwol caught the trailing end of the sentence.
“You think I consider you guys a burden?”
“Sotis I think that could be the case. Because there isn’t a corner hyung hasn’t touched in our idol activities. Even down to selfie angles.”
Lee Cheonghyeon rembered what Kang Kiyeon had said when having a ntally tough ti.
That he felt sorry for only receiving help from hyung. That he felt like he was soone who couldn’t be of help to hyung.
In Lee Cheonghyeon’s eyes, Spark seed to owe Kim Iwol a debt, big or small. Including Lee Cheonghyeon himself.
Everyone relied on Kim Iwol in so way, but no one could be a corner for Kim Iwol to rely on. It weighed on his mind even more after learning that even Choi Jeho had received help from Kim Iwol with family matters.
‘It’d be nice if I could just say it’s a good thing we know now, at least.’
He wished Kim Iwol would say, ‘I should rest now! Go live your own self-directed idol lives!’ Then even if Kim Iwol blacked out the next day, Cheonghyeon could insist, “Hyung announced it yesterday, so this Cheonghyeon will listen to him!”
But Kim Iwol’s consideration always ran deeper than Lee Cheonghyeon imagined.
“Seems like this is the question you really wanted to ask.”
“……”
“I don’t think that way.”
So firmly that it was impossible to believe no one was supporting him.
“I think you guys are comndable.”
Kim Iwol smiled.
There were no caras, no outsiders, and they weren’t saying silly things as usual or having a conversation requiring social skills.
A soft smile that a man in his early 20s would typically wear appeared. On Kim Iwol’s face, for the first ti.
“Wow… he really must be getting drunk.”
Returning to his usual faint smile, Kim Iwol pushed himself up from the sofa.
“I’ll put the bottles in the sink. I’ll rinse and put them out tomorrow, so don’t clean them up. Sa for the dishes.”
“Just wash up and go to sleep.”
“Choi Jeho, unless you’re cleaning it up for , shut it.”
“I’ll leave them in the sink, so just go to bed. We don’t have to make the kids do it.”
“Oh.”
Kim Iwol reacted dryly.
“Then I’ll just brush my teeth and sleep, okay? Everyone, head in. See you tomorrow.”
Then Kim Iwol really brushed his teeth for 3 minutes and ca out of the bathroom. He walked straight to his room, lay on the bed, covered himself neatly with the blanket, and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Watching the series of actions, Kang Kiyeon let out a dry laugh.
“Amazing, truly amazing.”
Kang Kiyeon muttered to himself while leaning against the door fra. Lee Cheonghyeon stared quietly at the eldest brother who had beco a drunkard, then turned off the room light and carefully closed the door.
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