'Sejin-ah.'
The surroundings were dark. Soone stroked near my ear, rubbing a thumb along the edge of my cheek. The hand quietly moved down to my neck, pressed into a hollow spot, then slowly withdrew.
'Sejin-ah.'
Again.
It was that man again.
'Jung Sejin.'
'.......'
I wanted to answer, but no sound ca out. A faint pressure, as if sothing were strangling , weighed heavily on my throat. Through a blurred, cloudy vision, I could make out the foggy silhouette of a man.
'If you want to save the company.......'
The man slowly reached out and brushed down the back of my neck. A large hand gripped the back of my head and roughly grabbed a handful of hair. My head fell back helplessly, causing my lips to part slightly.
'Act like a whore.'
I didn’t even have ti to process those words. In the blink of an eye, flesh pushed through the narrow opening. Crack—the corners of my lips stretched to the limit and scread as if they would tear apart.
'Mmph.......'
It felt like I couldn’t breathe. The nausea that had risen to my throat was blocked by the sensation pressing against the root of my tongue. The penis slowly pushing inward scraped along the roof of my mouth as it advanced.
'Open your mouth properly.'
Could a monotone voice really feel this cold? Before I realized it, tears had welled up and ran down my cheeks before I could even swallow. I wish they were just physiological tears. Unfortunately, they also contained emotions I hadn’t managed to repress.
'Jung Sejin.'
The man’s voice was more like a demand. A demand to suck properly instead of crying, a demand to show so sincerity. I had no ti to ask what I had done wrong, or why he was doing this to .
'Ugh.......'
The sensation of my throat being forcibly opened was always disturbingly vivid. I wanted to pull my head back, but the hand gripping my hair had completely cut off any chance of retreat. The glans, forcefully pushing in, claid territory deep inside.
'Haa.......'
The man finally buried himself to the root before pausing. With a low breath, he slowly pulled his hips back. Creak—as the half-withdrawn penis more harshly pierced my throat again.
'Ugh......!'
His pubic hair brushed against the tip of my nose. Overwheld by sudden nausea, I instinctively clamped my lips shut. My front teeth grazed the penis I had just been holding in my mouth, and the man halted his movents and threw my head away.
'......!'
Blink—the scene changed. This ti, I was lying on a hard floor with my legs spread open. Though startled by the sudden shift, the feeling lasted only a mont. From sowhere, a heightened voice rang out.
'Hah, this is a first.......'
A strange hand groped along my thigh. It was a skin-crawling sensation, like insects crawling over . The man, positioned between my spread legs, let out a giggling sound as he pressed his lower body against . And the mont I felt sothing press below—
"Aaagh......!"
A horrific pain surged like a tidal wave. The penis burrowing into the narrow entrance felt like a burning hot iron scorching my inner walls. Every ti the blunt tip slamd upward, it felt like my guts were twisting violently.
"Ah, ah...... ngh......."
Instinctively, I struggled to get away from him. I thrashed my upper body, scread, and twisted the leg he was holding. But things didn’t go the way I wanted.
"Fuck, can’t you just stay still?"
The fragnted scenes that followed were coated in unbearable sha. The feeling of a large hand choking my neck, the brutal impact of a slap across the cheek, and when that wasn’t enough, forcing to flip over and get on all fours like a dog.
"Hah, haah......."
Drool that I hadn’t managed to swallow dripped from my open mouth. I must’ve bitten my tongue wrong—there was a faint taste of blood too. The man holding my head down against the floor buried himself to the root, breathing disgustingly against my ear.
"......Ha, did you really sleep with that guy? Your hole feels like a damn virgin."
"Ah, ngh......."
"Wasted my energy for nothing......."
The sensation of being split in half was far too vivid. I tried crawling forward, but he crushed with a rciless body. My breath reached my chin, and blood welled at my fingertips as I scratched the floor.
"Filthy slut...... Look at that, you’re squeezing like crazy because you like it too."
"Hhuu, ngh......!"
"Your pheromones...... haa, they’re amazing."
My insides churned violently. With every motion, nausea rose from deep in my gut. Eventually, as I began dry heaving, the man muttered with a breathy voice.
"Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much......."
I didn’t know what that ant. But what I did know for certain was that the next words completely erased my will to resist.
"......That it’d be like this......."
"......."
The voice that pierced my numb ears was as cruel as a death sentence. As I instinctively froze, a deeply satisfied laugh followed.
"Should’ve done this from the start."
What followed was a repetition of what I’d grown used to. The man didn’t finish until my bottom had been thoroughly wrecked, and once he pulled out, sen mixed with blood dripped from the stretched entrance. The humiliation that surged within quickly lost all shape and aning, swallowed by directionless resentnt.
"Let’s hook up again soti. Yeah?"
"......Heh."
It felt like everything had ended. The pain down below didn’t compare to the sensation that my heart had been ripped clean out. Tears stread down uncontrollably, and my breath hitched like a broken machine.
The nightmare usually ended there.
"......!"
Suddenly, my eyes flew open. An all-too-familiar ceiling ca into view beyond the changed scenery. I blinked several tis and twitched my chilled fingertips. Only after taking in a deep breath did I finally feel the air around again.
Ah, it was a dream.
The mont I realized it, the strength drained from my entire body. Like blood returning to my veins, the stiffness in my muscles slowly eased. As I turned my head sluggishly, I saw the pill bottle labeled '1 pill per use.'
"......When did I fall asleep."
Last night, I’d gone straight to bed right after taking a shower. Half because I didn’t want to sleep, half because I felt obligated to. After a long debate, the latter won out. I clutched the pill bottle and chewed the sleeping pills dry without even water.
And this was the result. A new nightmare I’d never seen before. Unlike the usual ones that were just scary, this one felt like I’d been doused in filth. Even with four pills, this was a bit much.
"...Unbelievable, even now......"
I carelessly pushed the pill bottle aside and slowly sat up. It rolled and dropped with a thud, making a hollow sound as it hit the floor—there were no pills left inside.
The clock on the nightstand read 7 a.m. Later than usual, but still an hour ahead of schedule. I’d have plenty of ti to get ready before the driver arrived.
"Guess I should shower first."
I mumbled to myself as I ran my hand through my sweat-drenched hair. My clothes and blanket were a ss from thrashing in my sleep. Still, at least I woke up on ti and had ti to clean up.
Stumbling out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom at the back of the room. Each step caught on the clothes I’d left lying on the floor the night before. They were the kind you couldn’t wear again once wrinkled, but I didn’t feel particularly sorry about that.
'Sejin-ah.'
"......Haa."
The nightmare had started at so point and only grew clearer as the engagent day drew closer. At first, I only rembered the general scenario. Now I could recall every emotion, every sensation.
The man in my dreams would grab my hair with rough hands, force my head back, and whisper:
'Act like a whore.'
There was no explanation of who he was, why he said it, or how the situation ca to be. Only the feeling of my body being forcibly opened and the sorrow that accompanied it remained painfully vivid.
'Let’s hook up again soti. Yeah?'
"......."
No—wasn’t today’s dream a bit different?
'......That it’d be like this.......'
What did I hear that made my dream self give up resistance? Why did my chest ache more than the part of that tore and bled?
I’d had countless nightmares, but I’d never felt quite like this before. I had no trauma, no past experiences with sex—not even a single partner. Yet the crushing helplessness from that dream was far too vivid to dismiss as just a dream.
"I’m gonna get dumped at this rate......"
A marriage partner who dreams of getting raped every night. I could already see Seonho’s jaws dropping. If that happened, Father would kick out of the family without a second thought.
I let out a dry laugh and began undressing. A good soak might’ve been nice, but I didn’t feel indulgent enough for that. I’d managed to get so sleep—now all that was left was to prepare for today’s engagent ceremony.
Today was the day Father had long awaited—Haesin Group’s final chance.
***
The engagent ceremony with Seonho Group was set to be held quietly, behind closed doors. Rumors had already begun to spread here and there, but the official announcent wouldn’t co until much later. Apparently, the wedding itself hadn’t even been scheduled yet—just a formality, in the end.
At any rate, I visited the salon Mr. Kim had booked early in the morning to get dressed and have my hair done. When it was ti to put on the ceremonial suit, no fewer than three staff mbers stuck to like glue to help with the styling. One tied the necktie, another prepared the jacket, and a third knelt to put on my shoes.
After that, the staff had a small squabble amongst themselves—whether to wear the hair up or down. After much discussion, they agreed that since my forehead was pretty, sweeping half of it up would look best. It was a decision reached entirely without my input, but once even Mr. Kim nodded in agreent, I simply went along with it.
“If they’re already doing this much, I guess for the wedding they’ll assign five of them to .”
In the car on the way to the venue, I made the comnt half-joking, half-serious. Mr. Kim, wearing his usual expression devoid of even a hint of amusent, replied that if things went well, they might need to start prepping the night before.
“Are you nervous?”
I absentmindedly looked out the car window. The passing scenery blurred by peacefully, as always. My mood, on the other hand... was, how should I put it—ambiguous.
“Not sure.”
Though I was perfectly dressed, everything about it felt awkward today. My empty stomach wasn’t churning, just oddly calm. Even the ivory ceremonial suit—what Minjae had called “fucking ugly”—felt like an uncomfortable texture against my skin.
“It’s not even the wedding yet...”
“......”
“I don’t know.”
Mr. Kim fell silent, his face tightening with complexity. Even through the lenses of his glasses, his pointed gaze felt uncomfortably sharp. Like he wanted to ask, Then will you be nervous at the wedding?, but decided not to.
“We’ve arrived, Director.”
After a long ride, the car stopped in front of the Yeongbingwan annex at Myeongseong Hotel. The driver got out from the front seat and ca around to open the rear door. As I moved to step out and thanked him, I looked at his outstretched hand and gave a faint smile.
“I’ll let you escort once I’m wearing a wedding dress.”
So people are just like that—betas who, upon hearing soone is an oga, instinctively try to escort them. It wasn’t like I was wearing a floor-length gown or teetering in high heels. But since most ogas are won, and rare traits are so uncommon, I suppose it made sense.
“Ah... I’m ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ sorry.”
The driver awkwardly withdrew his hand. I t his gaze to say it was fine, and his ears turned slightly red. Mr. Kim, who had exited the car slightly later, cleared his throat when he saw the scene.
“Jung Sejin-nim, this way please.”
As I followed the hotel staff toward the side building, I noticed security personnel stationed at regular intervals along the path. It didn’t seem to be Father’s doing—most likely people sent by Seonho. Probably to keep reporters away, though this kind of security only made the event more conspicuous.
“You may wait here.”
The staff mber opened the paper sliding door for at the waiting room. As it slid open with a soft sound, I could see a doorway on the opposite side of the room. Maybe that’s the way out—but that wasn’t what caught my attention.
“There’s a sll of flowers...”
It wasn’t just one or two stems—the scent was like being in the middle of a blooming garden. Inside, the space had been decorated with flowers in every color imaginable. White, yellow, pink, even purple. All of them were fresh.
“...Did the hotel prepare these?”
I knew flowers were a staple at events like this. I had just never seen this many before. And sohow, they were all the flowers I liked.
“They were arranged by Seonho.”
The staff calmly corrected my assumption. Then they gestured toward the table inside the room.
“They were instructed to use only fresh flowers.”
“......”
Next to a card that had ‘Jung Sejin’ written on it was a neatly arranged bouquet. It wasn’t even a wedding, just an engagent. And it was a political match at that. Yet soone had taken the trouble to prepare a bouquet of lily of the valley—a flower notoriously hard to obtain.
“If you need anything else...”
Was this coincidence, or so twisted joke of fate?
As if possessed, I approached the table at the center. I didn’t even hear what else the staff said. I opened the folded card, and inside, written by hand, was the flower’s aning.
“...Did you like flowers?”
The mont the paper door slid shut, Mr. Kim asked abruptly. His tone sounded genuinely surprised, and I couldn’t really bla him. I put the card down and gently picked up the bouquet, its little bell-shaped flowers trembling.
“Yes, well...”
I do like flowers. Or more accurately, I like the warm scent they carry.
“I’d say I like them.”
When I was very young, I wanted to beco a perfur. Trees, flowers, grass, even soil and sand—each had a different scent depending on the season or the weather. Enchanted by those subtle differences, I guess I thought one day I’d own them for myself.
“I especially like lily of the valley...”
Soone I once told this dream to—maybe my father, maybe my mother—had scrunched up their face in displeasure and replied like this: What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that, coming from an oga who doesn’t even have pheromone scent.
There are two things wrong with that statent. One, pheromones don’t equate to scent. Two, my pheromones don’t lack a scent. And regardless of all that, my sense of sll has always been far stronger than average.
“...I didn’t think you’d like flowers.”
“You wouldn’t, because I never told you.”
After a few similar experiences, I stopped talking about my dream of becoming a perfur. Or more accurately, I was never given the chance to. My future had already been set—to follow the well-paved road Father built for .
“If I’d known, I would’ve bought you so from ti to ti.”
“Haha... Mr. Kim, you? For ?”
The tension in my shoulders eased. The mont I slled the fragrance of the flowers, the vague anxiety I’d been holding onto lted away. What ca to replace it was a gentle smile, rising from deep inside.
“You should save that for your wife.”
“......”
I must have been more nervous than I realized. The fact that sothing as simple as a bouquet could make feel this emotional. That even in this kind of business arrangent, I could think the other party might actually be a decent person.
“Yeah... fresh flowers really are better than perfu.”
I smiled faintly. Mr. Kim blinked at , looking dazed. He stood silently for a long ti, then lowered his gaze a beat too late.
“There should be a lot of fresh flowers in the garden too.”
His next words carried a strange, subtle bitterness. I didn’t answer. I simply put down the bouquet I was holding. The scent of lily of the valley that lingered on my fingertips made feel—for the first ti—like I’d been comforted.
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