Knock knock knock, crisp knocking sounds.
"Co in." A slightly hoarse voice ca from the room in front of Yago.
Yago pushed open the door.
"Commander, you were looking for ?"
Entering the room, it was dim all around. In the vast room, only a single stub of candle was burning. Seeing the scene before him, Yago froze.
Files piled ssily everywhere, miscellaneous items scattered across the floor, and those conspicuous empty wine bottles by the desk.
"Recruit Yago Norman, you're here?" A figure stepped out from the dim candlelight.
"Commander? What's going on with you?" Yago asked in shock. The commander before him was completely different from usual.
Bloodshot eyes, stubble on his chin, a hollow gaze, and the once ticulously kept blond hair was now in disarray.
Yago couldn't imagine how Commander Erwin could have beco like this. Whether in Yago's own mories or in the mories of older Eren, he had never seen Commander Erwin this despondent.
Especially that scene Yago had seen in older Eren's mories: the one-ard Commander Erwin leading more than two hundred Survey Corps soldiers, charging toward the Beast Titan as if embracing death.
Yago couldn't believe that the Commander Erwin who shouted,
"We will die here and entrust the aning to the next living person," the Commander Erwin who, facing countless cannonball-like boulders, still roared,
"Fight! Soldiers! (Soldiers, fight!)" would fall into such depravity.
"Commander, how did you beco like this?" Yago asked.
Erwin gave a nonchalant smile.
"I'm fine. I've received an appointnt. I'll be transferred to serve as a combat strategist. I called you here this ti to hear your opinion. I plan to have Hange take over as commander of the Survey Corps."
"What?" Yago was startled and asked in disbelief. "Commander, do you an… you're giving up the Survey Corps?"
"No. It's just that I won't be serving as the commander of the Survey Corps anymore." Erwin waved his hand.
Yago's expression grew complicated.
"Why? Didn't you say you would lead the Survey Corps to dedicate their hearts for humanity's future?"
At this, Erwin's expression changed.
"Humanity? But Yago, didn't you tell us? There are humans outside the walls as well."
Yago: "Yes! There are humans outside the walls! Humans who are hostile toward us, humans hostile toward the Eldians!"
"Heh. Humans, yes. There are humans outside the walls. Then what are we, the Survey Corps, fighting for? And what reason do I, Erwin Smith, have to let more soldiers go to their deaths?" Commander Erwin laughed at himself.
Yago stepped forward and stared into Erwin's eyes.
"What? Commander, do you even know what you're saying? Just because there are humans outside the walls, you're willing to sink into this kind of degeneration? Or were the words you once spoke with your own mouth all lies?"
Lies? Erwin asked himself. Were the words he had repeated countless tis before countless soldiers lies?
...
When Erwin was very young, he was already different from other children his age. While other children cried and clamored for candy, young Erwin had already begun wondering what lay beyond the walls.
This was thanks to Erwin having an equally open-minded father. His father firmly believed that the world outside the walls could not possibly contain only Titans, that it was impossible for only humans to survive within high walls, and that the truth of the world was certainly not what was written in the history books.
Growing up with these ideas instilled in him, Erwin was likewise filled with curiosity about the world beyond the walls. Unfortunately, when his perfectly healthy father suddenly died, and the research notes and papers about the outside world were burned to ashes by soldiers wearing unicorn-emblem uniforms, Erwin changed. He learned to hide his emotions.
At the sa ti, his father's pursuit of the truth about the outside world influenced him deeply. For this reason, he chose the Survey Corps. For this reason, he gave up the girl he and his close friend Nile both loved, all for that illusory truth.
Erwin hid his true heart. His fearless charges and calm command during expeditions beyond the walls earned him the favor of his superiors and the respect of his subordinates.
Erwin successfully made everyone believe he was a fearless and heroic commander of the Survey Corps. Everyone believed he exhausted himself for humanity's future, but Erwin himself knew that deep inside, he had always harbored a selfish goal.
Now, after learning from Yago that there truly existed a world of other humans outside the walls, Erwin, who had struggled for half his life, suddenly deflated like a punctured balloon. The countless sacrifices of Survey Corps soldiers he had witnessed in the first half of his life now seed like a cruel joke.
"All of it has no aning… What aning do the soldiers' sacrifices have?" Erwin sat down in his chair and let out a despondent sigh.
Yago retorted, "No aning? Commander, you shouldn't be that kind of person. Do you know? You are the soul of the Survey Corps, the soul of those soldiers willing to dedicate their hearts for humanity. Yet the soldiers haven't fallen into despair, and you, their commander, want to retreat?!"
Yago looked at Commander Erwin with disappointnt.
"Commander, you're really disappointing."
Yago's disappointed gaze made Erwin pause slightly. Yesterday, from the eyes of his subordinates Levi and Hange, Erwin had seen the sa disappointnt.
Yago turned and left without looking back. When he reached the door, he stopped and suddenly spoke:
"Then is life completely aningless? Is being born into this world itself aningless? Are our fallen comrades the sa? Are the deaths of those soldiers also aningless?
No, that's not right. What gives aning to those soldiers' lives is us. The brave dead, the pitiful dead—those who can mourn them are us, the living. We will die here and entrust the aning to the next living person. This is the only way to fight against this cruel world!"
After saying that, Yago turned back.
"Those are the words the commander in my mories should say. Perhaps the real commander died on the road of subjugating Titans."
Erwin watched Yago's departing figure. The shock on his face lingered for a long ti. Yago's words seed to strike directly at Erwin's soul.
"The only way… to fight against this cruel world?" Erwin murmured.
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