Darkness.
’Nothing.’
The Big Bang. Blinding lights.
’Awe.’
Six beings burst to life from the light, each one burning with a different light.
Atticus gasped as feelings not his own tore through him. He narrowed in on the one. Solvath. The brightest. The strongest.
’Wonder.’
’Hope... loneliness.’
Then, beams stretched from each of the lights, colliding in a surge of power. From it, stars, galaxies, and worlds spilled out. Then, life forms began inhabiting them.
Atticus clutched his chest.
’Pride.’
’Purpose.’
’Love.’
It was a love so vast it eclipsed the others. Atticus couldn’t feel the other lights’ emotions, but he knew.
Love for everything. For all.
Then suddenly, the other lights turned. Five against one. Beams struck Solvath and Atticus staggered under the flood of emotions.
’Shock.’
’Betrayal.’
’Desperation.’
’Rage.’
’Vengeance.’
The brightest shattered the next mont. His light broke and fragnts scattered across all of creation.
’Rage.’
’Vengeance.’
’Rage. Rage. Rage. Rage. Rage.’
Atticus almost felt overwheld. This one emotion burned stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. It threatened to consu him.
Then, the scene changed to one shard crashing onto a courtyard.
As a boy who had been training approached it, the fragnt pulsed and Atticus felt the emotion.
’Relief.’
’Gladness.’
For the first ti since the betrayal... he felt happiness.
And as the fragnt broke and entered his body, only one emotion engulfed him.
’Vengeance.’
Atticus’s eyes snapped open, breath ragged. It didn’t take him long to realize that his entire body was drenched in sweat.
"You did good."
The soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Let guess, I have to repeat this."
There was a mont of silence.
"Unfortunately, yes."
"For how long?"
"However long is necessary."
Atticus frowned, and cursed under his breath. He couldn’t help but think that she enjoyed seeing him suffer.
With a deep breath, Atticus steeled his mind and closed his eyes once more. The scenes flashed in his mind. The emotions raged within him.
The second ti wasn’t any easier. Atticus identified each emotion he felt, that Solvath felt, but it didn’t help him battle the pain and agony that ca from it.
At the end of the visions, the sa emotion engulfed him. Vengeance.
Atticus’ eyes opened with a start, but he didn’t waste any mont this ti around. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes.
Another series of scenes. Another series of painful emotions. Still, at the end, he felt only one thing, vengeance.
His eyes snapped open. He breathed, and shut his eyes.
The fourth ti didn’t change anything, and this was the sa with the fifth, and sixth through tenth. It always ended with him feeling the sa emotion, vengeance.
’How long has passed.’
The thought ca after his eleventh ti. He had lost track of ti. Each ti he closed his eyes, it was as though he was blocked from the world. He couldn’t even feel his body anymore.
Regardless, Atticus still continued. Eleventh stretched until the twentieth. By now, Atticus was seated within a pool of his own sweat.
It beca hard to tell reality from dream. Sotis he opened his eyes and still saw the betrayal and destruction of Solvath, still felt his anger roaring through him.
’I’m going mad.’ Another thought slithered in when he finished the twenty seventh turn.
He had done so without shutting his eyes. Rather, gazing at the serene dojo, all he saw was the Big Bang and betrayal. Atticus had risen to his feet and scread.
But no matter how piercing his shout, the torture did not stop.
Atticus sat back down.
’I can’t continue like this.’
He breathed heavily, yet his eyes remained fierce. In his mind, he recalled everything Anorah had told him.
’Observe.’
But had he truly been observing? He had identified each emotion, but was that truly what observing ant?
’No.’
To observe was to go deeper. To identify, to see through, to unravel. Not just to na the emotions, but to question them.
Why did Solvath feel anger? Why love? Why happiness?
Atticus had been content with recognizing each emotion. But true observation demanded more. To ponder, to analyze, to grasp the cause behind the feeling, the truth hidden beneath the surface.
That was what it ant to observe. Not simply to see, but to see all.
Atticus leveled his breathing.
’Twenty-eighth.’
He had no accurate way of knowing how long had passed. For all he knew, Anorah could have distorted ti again. Instead, he kept track of the number of tis he went through the horror.
Twenty-eight... Atticus shuddered.
He closed his eyes.
Bright light. The roar of beginnings. The Big Bang.
’Nothing.’
Because before awareness there was emptiness. Solvath felt nothing, for he had not yet known himself.
Blinding lights. Six beings, each one burning with a different light.
’Awe.’
Because existence itself was a miracle. To open one’s eyes in the void and see life, was wonder.
Solvath. The brightest. The strongest.
’Wonder.’
Because everything was new. The vastness stretched without end, and he longed to understand it.
’Hope.’
Because he saw the potential of what could be, not just what was.
’Loneliness.’
Because the others shone, but their hearts did not beat like his. He was apart, even among them.
Beams collided and Creation spilled out. Stars. Galaxies. Worlds. Life.
’Pride.’
Because from their light, existence blood, and he saw it flourish.
’Purpose.’
Because he believed this was why he existed, to bring aning to the void.
’Love.’
Because he could not help but cherish all he saw. Every star, every world, every soul yet unborn.
The five turned and the beams struck Solvath.
’Shock.’
Because never once had he thought his own kin would betray him.
’Betrayal.’
Because they did not only reject his love, they punished him for it.
’Desperation.’
Because he tried to hold them back, to make them see, but his strength was not enough.
’Rage.’
Because their unity against him was injustice.
’Vengeance.’
Because the fire of betrayal does not die. It carves itself into eternity.
The light shattered. His fragnts scattered.
’Rage.’
’Vengeance.’
Because even in pieces, he swore he would not be erased.
A shard landed in a courtyard. A boy approached and the shard pulsed.
’Relief.’
Because he was found. Because he was not lost in the abyss.
’Gladness.’
Because he had discovered a vessel, a hand to carry his will.
’Happiness.’
Because in that mont, he knew he would endure. But at the very end...
’Vengeance.’
Because though he found hope again, the wound of betrayal could never close.
To observe was to see all. And through observation, Atticus reached a new level of calm he’d never thought possible.
And as though noticing his new state, Anorah broke the silence.
"Observing the emotions forces distance. You cannot be swallowed by rage if you’re analyzing rage."
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