CASSIAN
The morning after the rooftop, the world didn’t look different, but it felt heavier.
The city was already screaming below us, a ss of sirens and shouting, but inside the apartnt, the air was thick.
We moved around each other like we were walking on a frozen lake, waiting for the first crack. We had crossed a line.
There was no going back to being whatever we were before. We were standing in a new country now, and neither of us knew the language.
Julian was at the counter making coffee. He kept his back to . I could see the jade pendant hanging from his collar, the green stone catching the light.
His movents were steady. He scooped the grounds and poured the water just like he did every morning, but it was all different.
Every small sound felt like it was amplified.
I sat at the table and watched him. I didn’t bother picking up a book or pretending to look at my phone.
I just sat there and let my eyes stay on him. I wanted to see if he was going to regret it. I wanted to see if the sun coming up had burned away the things we said in the dark.
When Julian turned around, he didn’t look surprised to find staring.
He paused for a heartbeat. Sothing moved across his face... a flicker of doubt, maybe, or just the weight of the morning. It was gone too fast for to catch.
He walked over and set a cup in front of .
As he passed, his hand landed on my shoulder. It was a quick touch, not dramatic at all, but it stayed there for a second longer than it had to.
It was the kind of touch that ant sothing.
I could see the effort it took him. Julian wasn’t a man who found courage easy, but there it was, sitting in the way he refused to look away.
I looked down at the coffee. "Is that what this is now?" I asked. My voice sounded rough, even to .
Julian pulled out the chair across from and sat down. "What?"
"You touching like you an it," I said.
He looked at his own cup. He didn’t answer right away. He traced the rim of the mug with his thumb. "I always ant it," he said quietly. "That was the problem."
We didn’t announce it. We didn’t give it a na.
In the world we lived in, naming things usually ant soone was going to take them away from you.
So we built it in the dark, in the quiet spaces between the violence of our jobs.
We had rules. They weren’t spoken, but we both understood them perfectly.
At work, we were ghosts to each other. In the common rooms of the Lorenzo house, we were just colleagues.
But once the door to the apartnt clicked shut, the world changed.
Everything lived in that apartnt. It was the way Julian’s hand would find mine when the lights were off.
It was the way he started stealing food off my plate with a grin, taking up space like he finally believed he was allowed to be there.
So nights, I’d lie awake with him asleep on my chest. I’d feel the jade pendant, cool and hard against my skin, and I’d just stare at the ceiling.
I felt like a man who had won a lottery he didn’t buy a ticket for. I didn’t believe my luck. I spent every night waiting for the floor to drop out from under us.
Julian was different when we were around other people.
He teased relentlessly. That was where he was best... finding the one thing that would get under my skin and poking at it until I wanted to snap.
He’d make a low comnt across a crowded room that only I could hear. He’d hold my gaze for a second too long when we passed in the hallway.
He knew exactly what he was doing. He enjoyed the power of it, and he didn’t apologize for it once.
In public, I gave him nothing. I kept my face like stone. My control was a wall I had built over years, and I wouldn’t let a single brick slip, not even for him.
Julian found that funny. It irritated , but there was sothing else under the irritation, sothing I refused to put a word to.
But at night, when the walls were the only thing watching us, the control vanished. We didn’t need it there.
I was moving up. It wasn’t because I wanted power; I just didn’t know how to be anything other than useful.
In the Lorenzo family, being useful ant being deadly and being smart. I happened to be both.
Marceli started looking at even more differently, like I had exceeded his expectations which I infact did. He saw a man who didn’t blink when things went wrong.
He liked that I didn’t change my posture when I spoke to him. I made decisions without fear because, truthfully, I didn’t care about the family’s empire. I didn’t care about the money or the respect.
The only reason I was in those rooms was across the floor.
I would sit in etings, listening to n argue about territory, while my eyes stayed on Julian.
I watched him explain things to n twice his size, using his hands and that easy way of talking that made people trust him.
The other n were jealous.
I knew it. I could feel their eyes on my back like a change in the weather. It only mattered if they beca dangerous. Until then, they were just noise.
Julian didn’t climb like I did. He stayed in his lane, respected but not hungry for the top.
He chose to stay where he was, and I noticed. I didn’t push him to want more. I liked that he had a part of himself that didn’t belong to the Lorenzos.
Then there was Lucia.
She was Marceli’s youngest daughter.
Twenty-two years old with dark hair and eyes that expected the world to hand her whatever she wanted.
Her father had spent her whole life making sure she never had to finish a sentence before he gave her what she asked for.
She decided she wanted almost imdiately. She didn’t try to hide it. She looked at the way a child looks at a shiny toy on a high shelf.
Marceli made his move during a Sunday dinner. The whole family was there, sitting around a table that felt a mile long.
Julian was at the far end, tucked away with the lower-ranking n. He was eating quietly, his head down.
"You need roots, Cassian," Marceli said. He said it the way powerful n say things when they want you to think it’s your own idea. "A man like you. You need a family. You need sothing to keep you here."
Lucia was sitting next to him, watching from the corner of her eye. She wasn’t even embarrassed. She looked like she was already picking out the furniture for a house we would never share.
"I appreciate the thought, Don Marceli," I said. My voice was a closed door. It was polite, but there was no handle on the outside.
Marceli didn’t hear the no. n like him don’t believe in the word when it cos from people they pay. He just smiled and kept talking.
I looked down the table. Julian had finally looked up.
Our eyes t for one second. It was a jagged, sharp mont that no one else in the room could see.
Then he looked back at his plate and went back to his food. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I could feel his silence from twenty feet away.
The dinner went on forever. The Lorenzos were loud. Wealthy families have a way of taking up all the oxygen in a room, laughing about things that aren’t funny and talking over each other.
Lucia kept hitting with questions. She wanted to know where I grew up, what I liked, where I saw myself in five years. Every question was a little net she was trying to throw over .
I gave her the shortest answers I could without being rude. My eyes kept drifting across the room. I wasn’t giving them permission to move, but they wouldn’t obey.
Julian stood up. He excused himself quietly, slipping away from the table. No one noticed him leave. No one except .
I waited five minutes. Then I stood up, too. Lucia watched walk away with a look on her face that said she was starting to do so math she didn’t like.
I found Julian by the side entrance, leaning against the brick wall in the shadows. He had a cigarette lit.
He was staring out at the garden, looking at nothing. This was his real face... the one he didn’t show the room.
He looked tired.
User Comments
0 comments from readers