Ignoring Cassian’s calls would have consequences.
I knew that.
Cassian didn’t do disobedience. He didn’t even understand the concept of soone telling him no. And I knew exactly what kind of punishnt he had waiting for on the other end of those missed calls.
But right now, standing alone on that empty street with everything in my life unraveling like cheap thread...
I couldn’t bring myself to give a single damn.
All I wanted was silence. Oblivion. A way out of my own head.
A way to stop feeling like my entire chest was being hollowed out with a blunt spoon.
My hands shook as I pulled up my phone settings, breath unsteady. One swipe, and his incoming rage turned into a quiet little icon.
Silent.
The screen went black, and sothing inside felt like it did too.
I shoved the phone into my pocket and kept moving, step after step, like montum was the only thing keeping upright.
I walked past the bus stop where I normally waited after work.
Past the corner store that was locking up, the owner pulling down the tal shutter without even glancing at .
Past everything familiar.
Until the sidewalk spat out onto the main road, and I lifted a hand to flag down a cab.
The driver didn’t question the ss in front of him, bloody knuckles, rumpled clothes, eyes that looked like they’d seen a funeral.
He just gave a long look in the rearview mirror and asked, "Where to?"
I told him the address.
The sa club where everything had started.
Where I’d t him.
Where my world had veered off its axis because I’d been drunk enough and stupid enough to throw a punch at a stranger.
Maybe I was trying to punish myself.
Maybe I was chasing the mory of who I’d been before I ruined everything.
Maybe I just wanted to disappear under enough noise and alcohol that I couldn’t hear my own thoughts.
The driver nodded and steered into traffic.
I stared out the window, watching the city sar into streaks of color and light.
People living their lives. Laughing. Existing.
And I felt like so kind of ghost drifting beside them, untethered and unseen.
When the cab pulled up to the club, it was exactly as I rembered it.
Loud. Harsh. Too alive.
The bass thumped through the walls in violent, pulsing waves, rattling my ribs like it was trying to force its way into my bloodstream.
I paid the driver and stepped out, the noise vibrating through the pavent.
A different bouncer stood at the door this ti, bigger, older, not even glancing twice at my ID before waving in.
Inside, the place was chaos.
Strobe lights slicing the darkness into fragnts.
Bodies pressed together in a humid, moving mass that slled like sweat, alcohol, and desperation trying to hide itself behind expensive perfu.
I shoved my way toward the bar, each step heavier than the last.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked.
He wasn’t the sa one from before. This guy was younger, bleached hair catching the lights, na tag reading Luke. His gaze dragged over my hands, still raw and split, then up to the look in my eyes.
Sothing in his expression shifted.
"Rough night?" he asked, already reaching for a bottle.
The laugh that escaped felt like it ca from soone else, soone cracked down the middle.
"You have no idea."
He poured sothing amber into a glass and slid it across the counter to .
I didn’t bother slling it or asking what it was. I just tossed it back in one brutal swallow.
The burn hit instantly, sharp, punishing, scorching down my throat and blooming like wildfire in my gut.
For a second, it almost felt good. Almost.
I set the glass down harder than I ant to.
"Another."
Luke hesitated, eyes flicking over like he was deciding if he should cut off.
Then he poured.
I threw that one back too. And the next.
And the next.
The alcohol hit fast, a punch straight to the bloodstream.
I hadn’t eaten since lunch... barely touched dinner earlier so there was nothing in my stomach to slow it down.
Just empty space ready to soak it all in.
The edges of the world softened, sared like wet paint.
Then the mories ca.
My father’s hand slamming across my face, the sound ringing louder than the club’s bass.
Nick’s cruel smirk when he’d spat, "Good riddance."
Lila’s voice on the phone, sweet and warm, pretending she missed while she was already halfway out the door.
I gestured vaguely for another drink.
Luke didn’t even ask this ti, just poured and slid it over.
The bass from the dance floor hamred into my skull, matching the frantic rhythm of my heartbeat.
People moved past , laughing, shouting, dancing just streaks of color and movent in my peripheral vision.
Soone bumped , muttered a quick apology, vanished again.
I tossed back another drink.
Ti blurred. Minutes, hours, who knew.
At so point, a hand wrapped around my arm.
I blinked up, trying to focus.
A girl stood in front of . Gorgeous. Self-assured. Dark hair spilling over her shoulders, red lips curved in a smile that was equal parts flirtation and opportunity. Her eyes were bright with alcohol and hunger.
She leaned in, sliding her hand up my arm until it rested over my chest.
"You look like you need a distraction," she murmured, her voice warm and laced with suggestion.
A distraction.
God, yeah.
Anything to stop the avalanche happening inside my head.
"Yeah," I said, the word slurring slightly. "Yeah, I do."
Her smile widened looking pleased, triumphant and she laced her fingers through mine, tugging away from the bar.
We pushed through the crowd until she found a dark corner drowned in shadows, the music a little less violent here.
She pressed against the wall, her body molding to mine, and kissed . I could taste the alcohol, lipstick and heat.
Her tongue slid into my mouth, and I kissed her back out of reflex, out of desperation, out of the hope that maybe it would drown sothing.
It didn’t.
Her hand drifted lower, palming through my jeans with practiced confidence.
"Let take care of you," she whispered against my lips.
Before I could even process it, she was sinking to her knees.
Unzipping and freeing .
Taking into her mouth with eager, sloppy enthusiasm.
And...
No response.
No matter how hard I tried... how much I wanted to feel sothing, anything my body refused to respond. It was like the alcohol had hollowed out and left nothing but echoes.
My mind didn’t even stay in the present. It didn’t stay with the girl kneeling in front of , lips sared red, hands on my hips. It went straight back to him.
Cassian’s hand around my jaw, firm and unyielding, fingers digging in just enough to remind who was in control.
His voice, low and commanding, curling around my spine like smoke.
"Open up. That’s it. Good boy."
The mory hit so hard it was physical: the weight of him on my tongue, the thickness of him stretching my throat, the humiliating burn in my lungs as I gagged and he held still, watching with that dark, unreadable stare like I existed solely for his pleasure.
My stomach twisted.
The girl looked up at , confusion furrowing her brows before irritation took over. She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, smudging her lipstick into a red sar.
"Are you serious right now?" she snapped.
Heat shot through ... not arousal, just sha. Hot, choking, suffocating sha. My hands shook as I tried to tuck myself back into my jeans, fumbling like I’d never used zippers before.
"I—I’m sorry," I stamred, stepping back so fast I nearly tripped. "I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m—just..."
I didn’t stay long enough to hear what she said next. I just bolted, through the crowd, past bodies and lights and music that felt too loud, too bright, too alive.
I went straight back to the bar, the only place in this whole damn club that had offered any relief.
I collapsed onto the counter, my forehead resting against my folded arms, breath coming shallow and uneven.
"Another," I muttered.
Luke appeared in front of , concern finally breaking through his bartender neutrality. His voice hovered sowhere between worried and stern. "Man, maybe you should slow down..."
"Just give the fucking drink," I snarled without looking up.
There was a brief pause... hesitation, doubt, then the sound of liquid hitting glass. He slid it toward . I lifted my head just enough to knock it back in one motion.
What’s wrong with ?
The question spiraled in my head, relentless, tightening around my skull like a vise.
I can’t even get off with a random girl without thinking about him. Cassian. His hands on . His mouth on my neck. His breath against my ear.
His voice telling what I was. What he’d made . The way he looked at like he owned every inch of my body and the sickening part was that my body believed him.
Maybe I’d end up dead in a ditch tonight.
The thought drifted through my mind, slow and detached, like it was soone else thinking it. It didn’t scare . It barely registered at all.
Would anyone even care?
My father? No.
My mother? She’d probably sleep better.
Nick? He’d laugh. Maybe toast to it.
Lila? She wouldn’t notice unless it ruined her weekend plans.
And Cassian...
Cassian would shrug, find soone new, soone better. Soone stronger. Soone who didn’t completely fall apart the second the world pushed back.
The room tilted suddenly, a sharp lurch that sent my stomach rolling. My vision blurred around the edges, colors bleeding together in soft, nauseating sars. The bass rattled through my bones like thunder underwater.
Sowhere above , Luke’s voice broke through, muffled and distant.
"Hey. Buddy. You okay?"
I tried to answer but my tongue felt heavy, useless. The counter rose up to et .. or maybe I fell forward. My forehead hit the bar with a dull, echoing thud.
Then everything went black.
User Comments
0 comments from readers