I don’t sleep well.
The bed is too soft, the room too quiet, and every ti I close my eyes I see Feifei’s face. The way she looked at before she walked away, the door closing with that final, soft click.
I’ve been ssaging her since I got here.
*Feifei, I’m so sorry.*
*Please let explain.*
*I truly didn’t know who he was when it happened.*
*Please talk to .*
Nothing.
No response. Not even a "read" notification.
I called her earlier, before lunch. The phone rang once, then went straight to voicemail.
She’s blocked .
My sister, who used to defend to our parents, who brought soup when I was sick, who actually loved despite everything...
She’s blocked .
I finally fall asleep soti after midnight, exhausted and hollow.
***
My phone wakes .
Not the alarm. Sothing else.
Buzzing. Constant, relentless buzzing.
I crack my eyes open, early morning light filters through the curtains, too early for breakfast.
The buzzing continues.
I reach for my phone and the screen is flooded with notifications.
ssages, dozens of them. From numbers I barely recognize, from people I went to school with, from acquaintances I haven’t talked to in months.
*OMG is this real???*
*Runze what the hell happened??*
*I saw the news, are you okay?*
*Did you really...*
News?
My stomach drops.
I open the browser with shaking hands and search my na.
The results load.
And my world implodes.
**"Li Family’s Wayward Son Destroys Sister’s Engagent"**
**"Pregnant Oga Howrecker Seduces Sister’s Fiance"**
**"Gold-Digger Traps Wuchen Heir With Pregnancy"**
Photos everywhere. leaving the Li house with my suitcases, looking wrecked and guilty. Bael’s car in the driveway. Grandmother Wuchen’s expression cold and imperious.
Side-by-side photos of and Feifei.
Her smiling at so charity event, beautiful and poised.
from one of those tabloid photos from months ago, drunk and disheveled outside a bar.
The contrast is devastating.
I scroll.
The comnts section is a nightmare.
*She’s so much prettier. What was he thinking?*
*Of course the slut brother went after her fiance. Probably planned it.*
*Poor Feifei. She deserves so much better than this family.*
*Gold-digger got himself knocked up on purpose. Disgusting.*
*He’s always been trash. Rember the arrests? The fights? This is just typical Li Runze behavior.*
*Feel so bad for the Wuchen family having to deal with this howrecker.*
I should stop reading.
I can’t stop reading.
My hands are shaking but I keep scrolling, keep clicking through article after article.
Each one worse than the last.
So have quotes from "anonymous sources close to the family."
*"Runze has always been jealous of his sister’s success and happiness."*
*"The family tried to help him, but he refused all support."*
*"He deliberately targeted Bael to hurt Feifei."*
Lies.
All lies.
But they sound believable.
More believable than the truth.
My breathing is getting shorter, the room feels too small, too hot.
I click on another article.
This one has a photo of Feifei from the engagent party, mid-laugh, looking radiant.
The caption: *"Heartbroken bride-to-be forced to give up her fiance to scheming brother."*
My chest tightens.
Can’t breathe.
Can’t get enough air.
The phone slips from my hands as I double over, gasping.
Black spots dance at the edges of my vision, my heart is racing so fast it hurts.
I’m dying.
I must be dying.
This is what dying feels like.
I slide off the bed onto the floor, curling into myself, trying to rember how to breathe but my lungs won’t work.
The door opens.
"Young Master Li, breakfast is..."
Mrs. Wen’s voice cuts off.
Footsteps rush toward , her hands on my shoulders, gentle but firm.
"Young master, look at . Look at ."
I can’t, can’t focus, can’t breathe.
"You’re having a panic attack," she says calmly. "You need to breathe with . In for four, hold for four, out for four. Can you do that?"
I try, fail, try again.
She breathes with , slow and steady, her hand rubbing circles on my back.
Gradually, painfully, my lungs start working again.
The black spots fade.
The room cos back into focus.
Mrs. Wen is kneeling beside on the floor, my phone is in her other hand, screen still glowing with those horrible headlines.
She looks at it, expression tightening.
Then she sets it face-down on the floor, out of my reach.
"Please don’t read those, young master," she says quietly. "They don’t know anything."
"They know enough." My voice is raw, wrecked. "I did seduce him, I did destroy her engagent."
"But you didn’t know who he was when it happened," she says firmly. "That’s not the sa thing."
"Does it matter?" I ask. "The result is the sa. Feifei’s life is ruined because of ."
"Young master—"
"Everyone’s right." The words pour out now, unstoppable. "I am trash. I’ve always been trash. The arrests, the fights, the drinking, and now this. Of course they think I did it on purpose. Why wouldn’t they?"
Mrs. Wen’s hands grip my shoulders tighter.
"Listen to ," she says, and there’s steel in her voice now. "Everyone else will bla you. The internet, the tabloids, people who don’t know you and don’t care to. They will all bla you."
I close my eyes against the tears burning there.
"So you," she continues, "need to not bla yourself."
I open my eyes. She’s looking at with sothing that might be kindness or might be pity or might be both.
"If you bla yourself too," she says quietly, "there will be nothing left of you. Do you understand?"
I don’t answer.
"And the baby." Her hand moves to my stomach, pressing gently. "That child is innocent. Whatever happened, however it happened, the baby didn’t ask for any of this."
"I know..."
"Do you?" Her eyes are sharp now. "Because if you keep thinking of this pregnancy as a mistake, if you keep resenting it, that child will know. Babies know."
Sothing cracks in my chest.
"Everyone else will judge that baby," she says. "Call it a bastard, a trap, proof of your scheming. The world will be cruel to that child because of who they think you are and how it was conceived."
Tears spill over now, hot and unstoppable.
"So you can’t be cruel too," she finishes. "That baby has only got you, young master. Only you."
The words hit like a physical blow.
She’s right.
Everyone else...my family, the public, even Bael probably...sees this baby as a complication,an inconvenience, evidence of scandal.
But to the baby?
I’m all it has.
Mrs. Wen helps stand on shaking legs and guides to the bed.
"Please rest," she says, bringing a glass of water. "The baby needs you calm."
I drink chanically.
She picks up my phone from the floor. "I’m taking this, young master. You don’t need to see any more of that poison today."
"But..."
"Please." Her voice is gentle but firm. "Rest. I’ll bring breakfast up in an hour."
Then she’s gone, closing the door softly behind her.
I sit on the bed, hand drifting to my stomach.
There’s still nothing to feel, just the slight firmness that might be bloating or might be the beginning of sothing real.
Five weeks.
Barely there, a tiny beginning that’s already changed everything.
But it’s there, growing, depending on .
"I’m sorry," I whisper to it. "I’m sorry I ever thought you were a mistake. I’m sorry I resented you."
My hand spreads flat over my belly.
"Everyone else gets to hate you," I say quietly. "They’ll call you nas, say you ruined everything, that you shouldn’t exist. But I won’t. Not anymore."
The tears are falling freely now but my voice is steady.
"You’re all I have left," I tell the baby. "My family is gone, my sister hates . The whole world thinks I’m trash. But you..."
I close my eyes.
"I’ll love you," I promise. "Even if no one else does, even if everyone says you’re a mistake. I’ll love you and protect you and make sure you know you’re wanted."
The words feel like an oath.
Like the first real choice I’ve made since waking up in this body.
"We’re in this together now," I whisper. "You and . That’s all we need."
I lie back on the bed, hand still pressed against my stomach.
Outside, the sun is rising over the Wuchen estate.
A new day.
A new scandal.
A new life growing inside .
And for the first ti since everything fell apart, I feel sothing other than despair.
Not hope, exactly, but sothing close, purpose, maybe.
The baby needs , and I won’t let them down.
No matter what the world says.
No matter what anyone thinks.
This child is mine.
And I’ll be damned if I let anyone make them feel unwanted the way I always have.
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