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Now reading: Chapter 158: I Love You Before You Knew My Name from [BL] The Mafia Boss Wants My Body, a Yaoi novel by GoldWinwar.

Adrian’s eyes turned bloodshot. A sharp sting pricked behind his eyelids, but he forced himself to hold back the tears. If he started crying now, his vision would blur, and he desperately needed to read every single word.

He scrolled further.

Mom, it was raining today, but my future husband didn’t have an umbrella. He was standing at the pickup point again, waiting for his ride. I even thought about buying him a car, but I haven’t had the chance to speak to him directly yet. Anyway, I told my man to give him an umbrella so he wouldn’t get soaked while getting into his ride.

Adrian bit the inside of his cheek, his breath catching. He rembered that random expensive umbrella a stranger had handed him on a rainy Tuesday. It hadn’t been random at all.

Mom, it’s very cold today. I went to see my man. He was sad again, crying while waiting for his ride. Why the hell is he always crying? I want to know more about him, but I don’t want to do a background check on him. If I use my power to investigate him, it will feel like I didn’t work hard to win him over honestly. But anyway, I told my man to give him my jacket because the weather is freezing. He took it without saying thank you to my n. A very ungrateful, beautiful man.

Mom, I have t with this man twice at night myself now. He just stares at without saying anything. He isn’t scared of . He is the first man in this city who has never looked at with fear.

Mom, I finally got his na today. His na is Adrian.

Mom, it’s taking too long. Why hasn’t this man acknowledged ? Or is he ignoring ? Everything I gave him has my na engraved on it, the umbrella, the handkerchief, my jacket. Is it that he didn’t see the na, or is he deliberately ignoring ?

Anyway, Mom, I can’t take things slow anymore. It’s been almost two years already. I really want to get close to him.

Adrian’s chest rose and fell unevenly as he scrolled back to the ssages from the day Matteo finally approached him, from the restaurant to the club that night in the dark. The night Matteo stepped fully into his life... and the night he discovered Adrian’s secret.

Mom, I slapped myself today.

I realized Adrian wasn’t ignoring . He just couldn’t see . He has night blindness. I keep approaching him at night, in the dark, where my face isn’t clear to him at all. And he wasn’t scared of basically because he had no idea who I was.

The ssages shifted, detailing the tragic incident with Adrian’s family.

Mom, sothing terrible happened to Adrian’s family. I feel so sorry because I was the reason it happened. I wish it had never happened at all. I want to protect him from everything, but I don’t know how to fix a broken heart.

A hot tear finally broke free, tracing a burning line down Adrian’s cheek. He couldn’t stop them anymore. The tears fell onto the screen, blurring the words as he read Matteo’s private chat about their relationship.

Mom, I found out that I’m the reason behind Adrian’s pain. I’m the reason he’s been crying when nobody was there to see him. I hurt him so badly. I hope one day he can forgive ... because I swear to you, if he gives another chance, I’ll love him the right way and be a perfect man for him.

Matteo had written down every milestone, docunting how deeply he had fallen, and how desperately he was trying to dismantle his own dark world just to be worthy of standing in Adrian’s light.

Mixed into the tiline were updates about Mark, revealing the heavy toll everything was taking.

Mom, I’m getting too addicted to Mark. I’m scared that if he gets married one day, I will be completely lonely.

I couldn’t eat today because I feel so down. But everything is fine.

Mom, Mark is in a relationship now. We barely talk like we used to because he moved back to his own place. Don’t worry, he’s safe. I have my n watching him day and night. Nothing will happen to him, I promise.

Mom, I couldn’t sleep at all. I’m taking more drugs than before. I know you are disappointed in now.

Then, the ssages turned recent, growing frantic, bleeding with raw guilt and despair.

Mom, how do I take care of him? How do I fix Adrian? I hurt him.

I don’t want you to forget , Mom.

"Mom, I wish one day you’ll et Adrian. He’s very beautiful 😄 but also very stubborn. Please, if you ever et him, treat him well. He deserves the best."

Adrian kept scrolling, his breath growing unsteady as more ssages appeared.

Mom, I might lose him for good now because I lied to him. I wasn’t patient enough, so our relationship was built on a lie, and he found out. It hurt him so much.

Mom... Adrian has forgiven so many tis before. So many tis. But this ti... I don’t think he’s going to forgive anymore. And honestly, I don’t even know if I deserve it.

I don’t know how to fix this because I think he doesn’t love anymore. But without him, I don’t know if I can keep being this version of myself... the one who wants to be the perfect man.

I’m sorry, I may have to disappoint you again.

Mom, he won’t co to anymore. He won’t even allow to see him. I guess we are done, even though he hasn’t explicitly said the words yet. But I will be fine.

At that mont, Adrian was already sobbing, barely able to see the words on the screen. He hadn’t known that Matteo took his ti before approaching him, that nothing was random, not even their eting. If he had paid attention, if he hadn’t always been so careless with details, he would have realized it from the very beginning.

Mom, Mark said you’re in the city. I know I’m the last person in the world you ever want to see, but please... listen to .

Mark’s boyfriend, Charles, is best friends with Adrian. Please try to see him, even if it’s just once. See the man your son loves... the man I wanted to beco better for.

He’s the only person who makes truly regret everything I’ve done in my life. If I had a second chance, I would love him properly... without manipulation, without mistakes.

Because I hurt him, Mom... really badly. And soone like doesn’t deserve him."

Adrian let out a broken sob, pressing his palm against his mouth as his shoulders shook violently.

The phone slipped from Adrian’s trembling fingers and landed softly on the table. A suffocating tightness gripped his chest as every mory ca rushing back all at once.

Every single ti he had believed a kind stranger was helping him in the dark, the handkerchief, the umbrella, the heavy jacket in the cold, it had never been a stranger. It had been Matteo all along, and Adrian had been completely oblivious.

Long before Adrian ever even knew his na, Matteo had loved him. He had loved him silently from a distance, sheltering that fragile affection in the deepest, most broken parts of his hardened heart.

Back then, Adrian had been completely consud by the grief of losing his family. Most nights, he would end up crying alone on the streets, never realizing that soone was quietly watching over him from a distance, soone who cared about him far more than he could ever imagine.

Even though the bitter truth remained that Matteo had eventually manipulated a situation just to get close to him, it hadn’t started as so rushed, calculated ga.

Matteo had spent an entire year waiting, giving Adrian countless chances to notice him naturally. But during those dark days, Adrian hadn’t cared who was breathing beside him. He couldn’t see anyone through the haze of his grief, because the pain in his heart had been too heavy to bear.

As the heavy tears spilled over, Adrian sobbed openly. Matteo’s mother pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace. "It’s okay," she murmured gently, rubbing his back. "It’s okay, dear."

She held him close, allowing him a mont to breathe beneath the weight of everything he had just learned. When she finally spoke, her voice was gentle and steady, not pressuring him in any way. She made it clear she wasn’t showing him Matteo’s private diary entries to force him into staying with her son. She only wanted Adrian to understand one thing, that despite Matteo’s mistakes, the love he had for him was genuine.

The choice, however, was entirely his. Whether he chose to forgive Matteo or not, it was sothing only Adrian could decide.

She pulled back slightly, placing a comforting hand on Adrian’s shoulder, and she offered a soft smile. "To tell you the truth, the only reason I asked Mark to send Charles over today was that I wanted to secretly ask Charles all about you. I had absolutely no idea that you would be coming along with him."

Adrian sighed as he realized that when Matteo said he didn’t know how to say thank you, he wasn’t referring to that mont. He was talking about the real tis he had truly helped him before.

He counted the days he had not spoken to Matteo and the weeks he had spent pushing him away. For the first ti, a faint guilt settled in his chest as he felt bad about it.

At that mont...

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