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Now reading: Chapter 33: Himiko Toga (4) from BNHA: I am Reiji Toga, a Action novel by MisterPoderes.

The house was silent.

Not an uncomfortable or oppressive silence, but the typical, relaxed quiet of late at night, when even the walls seed to be resting after a long day. Outside, the rain continued to fall softly against the windows, much more gently than it had in the afternoon, creating a constant, pleasant sound that blended with the faint hum of the house's electrical system.

Reiji finally erged from the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. Steam was still escaping from the half-open door behind him, and part of his skin remained slightly flushed from the hot water. He was wearing only dark sweatpants, his bare torso absorbing the night's chill.

He was tired.

Not ntally this ti.

Physically.

And honestly, it was a strangely pleasant sensation, sothing he rarely experienced with his regeneration.

Spending hours being practically used as a human test dummy by i Hatsu had forced his regeneration to work nonstop all day. Minor electric shocks, micro-muscle tears, jarring impacts from improper acceleration, and two relatively controlled explosions had kept his body operating at maximum regenerative capacity for hours.

Now, after the hot shower, he finally felt that pleasant little heaviness behind his muscles.

Sothing quite rare for him.

'She's definitely crazy…' he thought as he let out a small, relaxed sigh.

He could still rember i shouting excitedly at him while a faulty thruster nearly slamd him into a wall.

And yet…

it had been fun.

Simple.

Normal, even. Sothing Reiji had rarely truly experienced, even with two lives.

He didn't have much ti to keep thinking when the door to Himiko's room opened softly a few feet ahead.

She appeared, leaning against the doorfra.

She was wearing comfortable sleepwear: a loose-fitting light-colored T-shirt and dark shorts barely visible beneath the fabric. Her still-damp hair fell ssily over her shoulders, and part of her bare legs were faintly illuminated by the warm light from the hallway.

However, the first thing Reiji noticed was her expression.

"So it really was you."

Honestly, Reiji was exhausted, and Himiko, on the other hand, seed far too awake for the ti of night, especially given the tone of her words and the sharp gaze she directed at him.

"…What?" Reiji asked calmly.

"A girl in my class asked today if I had a brother," Himiko slowly crossed her arms. "She said she saw soone who looked practically just like entering the support building with a girl."

Reiji let out a small sigh through his nose.

Of course.

That made sense.

They shared too many physical traits to go unnoticed within the sa academy; rumors spread easily.

"I went to test out so inventions," he finally replied as he draped the towel over his shoulder. "Nothing important."

"Nothing important?" Himiko looked him straight in the eye. "Then why didn't you co see ?"

The question ca so fast that Reiji didn't even have ti to think of a proper answer.

"I was busy."

"All day?"

"More or less."

"Not even a ssage?"

Reiji was silent for a second. At the ti, he really hadn't thought much of it, mostly because he was restricted by the conditions of his visit and because i never really gave him a break, but clearly it wasn't sothing Himiko wanted to hear.

"I thought you were going to show up," she murmured. "Even if it was just for five minutes."

The remark hit harder than he expected.

Because she sounded genuinely disappointed.

"It wasn't a big deal; we're seeing each other now… Just like every day."

"It was important to ."

The hallway fell silent for a few seconds. Fortunately, his parents' room was on the first floor and theirs on the second; the sound wouldn't reach them unless they shouted.

Himiko looked straight at him again.

"Do you like that girl?"

"No."

The answer ca imdiately.

That seed to barely reassure Himiko.

"Then I don't get it," she continued. "You went to my academy, spent hours there, and didn't even look for ."

"I only went because I was invited, thanks to my scholarship."

"But you were still there."

There it was again.

It wasn't really i that bothered him.

It was being left out of sothing related to him.

"What did you want to do?" Reiji asked as he leaned his back against the wall. "Interrupt your classes to say hi, or break protocol to leave the technical area?"

"Yes."

The imdiate answer made Reiji raise an eyebrow just slightly.

Himiko looked away for just a second before continuing.

"Well… even if it was at lunch. Or when you were done."

Reiji let out a small, weary snort.

He definitely didn't have enough energy to keep up with her that night.

"Besides…" Himiko looked at him again. "The girl who was with you seed to be having way too much fun, even sitting on top of you. Isn't that right?"

"That was an accident..."

"It didn't seem to bother you much."

Reiji just cursed the soul who had gone into excruciating detail about what happened with i to Himiko.

"It didn't happen again."

A small smile barely touched Himiko's lips.

But it vanished quickly.

"Do you like it?" she asked again.

"Yes," Reiji admitted without beating around the bush.

"Ah."

The way she responded made it all too clear that she didn't like hearing that.

"But that has nothing to do with you."

"Of course it has to do with ." Himiko took a step closer. "Because lately I feel like you do this all the ti."

"Do what?"

"Go off on your own." She stared at him. "Hiding things from . Acting like you don't need to be with anymore, like I'm bothering you."

Reiji clenched his jaw slightly.

Because he knew exactly where this was going.

"Himiko..."

"No, listen." She spoke again before he could cut her off. "You've been doing the sa thing for months. Do you think I don't know you're sneaking out at night? Or that you're actually ignoring and hiding way more from than you realize?"

Reiji tensed slightly; honestly, not even he knew that Himiko was fully aware of his nightly escapades to carry out a mission or assignnt.

"I'm not doing anything wrong."

"That's what you say…"

Silence again.

And honestly, that was the worst thing about Himiko.

When she spoke like that, without exaggerating too much, it was impossible to ignore that she was truly hurt.

"You can't depend on so much," Reiji finally muttered.

She imdiately frowned.

"What does that an?"

"That you have to start doing more things on your own."

"I already do."

"I an emotionally."

Himiko stayed still for a few seconds.

And when she spoke again, her voice was much softer.

"Are you trying to distance yourself from ?"

Reiji didn't answer right away.

Because yes.

That was exactly what he'd been trying to do for months.

Although the problem was that he could never quite manage it.

He kept worrying too much.

He kept giving in too quickly.

He kept treating her differently from everyone else even when he tried to keep his distance.

And Himiko noticed it all.

"I'm just trying to make things normal," he finally replied.

She let out a small, bitter laugh.

"Normal?" she repeated. "You're the one making everything weird. I… I just want to go back to how we were before."

That did make him look up directly at her.

Because she was right.

And they both knew it.

Himiko took another step toward him until she was practically right in front of him.

"Is it that bad?" she asked in a low voice. "What I feel?"

"That's not the point."

"Then explain it to ."

Reiji exhaled slowly.

Because he'd been avoiding this exact conversation for months.

"Himiko..." He lowered his voice slightly. "We're siblings; siblings don't behave like this."

She didn't answer.

But she didn't back away either.

"Everyone has to live their own life," he continued. "And I don't want yours to revolve around ."

"What if I want it to?"

"Don't be silly."

"It's not nonsense." She stared at him. "You're my favorite person."

The words ca out so bluntly that Reiji felt his chest tighten imdiately, and he shifted his gaze to the faint moonlight streaming through one of the windows.

"I don't want this for either of us; it's not that simple, and it's not sothing I want either.

"Then tell while looking at ," she murmured. "Tell you don't feel anything."

Reiji closed his eyes for just a second.

Because that was the real problem.

He couldn't do it. He wasn't even sure why, but pushing Himiko away wasn't sothing he wanted; her presence truly comforted him, and most of the ti, she was his reason for continuing to do the things he did.

And Himiko understood the answer just by seeing his silence.

That seed to break sothing inside her.

"Let's sleep together tonight…" she murmured suddenly as she gently rested her hands against his chest. "Like before, when we were kids, when everything was so much simpler…"

It didn't sound suggestive.

It sounded sad.

Tired.

Like soone trying to cling to sothing they felt they were slowly losing.

"I just want to be with you for a while…" she continued more softly. "Lately I feel like you're getting farther and farther away."

Reiji swallowed slowly.

Because that was exactly the reason he was trying to distance himself.

Before it was too late for both of them.

He gently held her wrists and pulled them away from his chest.

"No."

Himiko froze completely.

The word was soft.

But firm.

And that was probably why it hurt so much more.

"I don't want to keep doing this," Reiji said, forcing himself to keep his gaze on her.

Himiko's gaze wavered slightly.

"Does it seem that awful to you?"

"No," he replied imdiately. "That's the problem."

She lowered her gaze.

And for the first ti since the conversation began, she seed truly vulnerable.

"I don't want you to avoid ..." she murmured. "Or act cold toward to force to change."

Reiji felt guilty imdiately.

Because she was right even about that.

All this ti he had tried to push her away while still caring about her more than anyone else.

It was contradictory.

Cruel, even.

But he didn't know how else to do it either.

"I love you too much to keep feeding this," Reiji finally admitted. "And that's exactly why I have to put a stop to it."

Himiko looked up quickly.

Her eyes were already moist.

"So what do I do then?" she asked, her voice barely breaking. "Do I just stop feeling this way?"

Reiji clenched his jaw.

Because he didn't have a good answer.

There wasn't one.

But even so… He forced himself to stand his ground.

"Yes," he replied softly. "That would be best."

Silence.

Himiko watched him for several seconds as if she were waiting for him to take it back.

For him to hug her. For him to say sothing else. For him to try sothing.

But Reiji didn't move.

And that ended up breaking her far more than anything else.

She slowly pulled her hands away from him and took a step back.

"I don't want to lose you…" she finally murmured.

Reiji felt a horrible emptiness in his chest.

Because he didn't want that either.

But that was exactly why he was doing this.

"Good night, Himiko…"

She didn't answer.

She just turned slowly and walked back to her room without looking at him again.

The door closed softly.

And Reiji stood motionless in the middle of the hallway for several seconds, staring at the floor as the sound of the rain filled the entire house once more.

Because even knowing it was the right thing to do… he was hurting the person he loved most.

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