Becoming an Eminence in Shadow in the New World (DxD / StrikeTheBlood) Chapter 10: The Courage to Be Hated

"So why didn't you refuse?"

Inside the café, Cid and Kanon Kanase sat facing each other in a quiet corner.

"I… I…"

Just like earlier, Kanon Kanase didn't know how to answer. But this ti, Cid had no intention of glossing over it. He had already spent the money anyway, so whether it was troubleso or not didn't really matter now.

Originally, he had planned to brush the matter off with a bottle of juice. Let her get so sugar in her system while he went to buy sothing to eat himself. That would fit his persona and save money.

But then…

Who would have thought soone could feel nauseous from waterlon juice? She even threw up. What kind of person does that?

Now he felt too embarrassed to just leave.

So once Kanon Kanase felt a little better, he ended up paying to bring her into a café so she could eat sothing.

Although the money technically ca from the paynt Kanon Kanase had given him to take care of the cats, once he found them new owners, whatever remained would belong to him.

Which ant he was basically spending his own money.

Cid stared directly at Kanon Kanase.

"I… I didn't know how to refuse."

After a long silence, Kanon Kanase finally spoke.

"I don't think that's it."

Kanon Kanase wasn't soone incapable of refusing others. At least, that was how Cid saw her.

Her eyes were very pure, but that didn't an she was weak or unable to say no. There was a sense of self and courage in them.

So…

"When you say you didn't know how to refuse, what you really an is that you didn't know how to refuse soone's kindness, right?"

As if he had hit the mark, Kanon Kanase lowered her head.

If you thought about it carefully, the answer was obvious. Kanon Kanase wasn't soone who lacked the courage to reject malice. So why hadn't she refused?

Because what she faced was kindness.

Hmm. In a way, she reminded him a bit of Sherry.

"This might sound a little ddleso and overly concerned, but Kanon, that part of your personality really needs so adjustnt."

"S-sorry."

"You don't have anything to apologize for, Kanon."

Looking at the girl bowing her head in apology, Cid sighed quietly in his heart.

If possible, he really didn't want to get involved in this.

But if he ignored it, the pair of eyes he liked so much would eventually be clouded with regret.

This wasn't exaggeration. It was simply reality.

Learning to reject malice isn't difficult. What's difficult is knowing how to properly reject kindness.

Not every act of kindness is truly beneficial to the person receiving it.

Take parents and children, for example. Parents often hope their children will succeed, yet they never consider the child's own abilities or wishes. In the end, those good intentions only end up crushing the child.

That doesn't an you should shut out all kindness from the world. Doing that would only isolate you.

What matters is learning how to refuse properly.

Parents are elders. They do possess life experience that their children don't have.

But what children should do is treat their parents' words as advice rather than commands. Think it through first, then decide whether to accept it.

Don't ask him why he understood this so well.

His own parents had completely ignored his abilities and wishes. And his older sister was the one who had ended up carrying all of that.

That was exactly why he didn't like getting involved in other people's family matters.

He hadn't even sorted out his own family problems yet. How could he have the energy to deal with soone else's?

But…

Cid glanced at Kanon Kanase.

Consider it compensation for the resentnt she had been bottling up these past few days. Or after-sales service for his client. Or maybe he simply didn't want those clear eyes of hers to beco clouded.

Just this once, he would play the role of a counselor.

"Kanon, I can more or less guess what you want to ask. But before that, let ask you sothing first. Do you hate Itogami Island?"

Kanon Kanase shook her head.

"No. I don't hate it."

"So leaving this place is your parents' idea. Is it because of you? If it is, can you tell about it?"

"…Yes. It's because of . Father said the place I'm supposed to go will be very good for ."

"Then… do you want to go?"

At this point, the conversation had started to feel a bit like an interrogation. But there was no helping it.

For soone like Kanon Kanase, who kept everything buried inside, if you weren't a little forceful, she wouldn't say anything at all.

"No. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave here. How could I possibly want to leave this island where my friends are, where there are so many kittens that need to take care of them, and where you are, Cid-nii-san?"

It felt like a long ti had passed. Or perhaps only a few seconds.

Then Kanon Kanase's voice, trembling with tears, broke the silence.

"So… have you told your parents what you really think?"

In truth, that question hardly needed to be asked.

With Kanon Kanase's personality, there was almost no way she had ever opposed them.

"No, I haven't."

See? Just as he expected.

"Kanon, have you ever heard of an interesting theory?"

"When you're faced with two choices, flipping a coin always works.

Not because it will always give you the right answer, but because the mont you toss it into the air, you suddenly realize what you really want.

You don't flip a coin because it can make the right choice for you. You flip it because the mont it leaves your hand, you know what you've been hoping for."

"By the sa logic, when you ca to and asked that question, your heart had already given you the answer."

"You could even say you knew from the very beginning what you wanted. In that case, there's only one real question left.

Do you have the courage to resist?"

"The courage to resist?!"

Kanon Kanase looked both shocked and confused.

"You could also call it teenage rebellion."

"I don't really understand, Cid-nii-san."

"Then let put it more plainly, Kanon. If one of the cats you've been raising suddenly decided it didn't want you feeding it anymore and wanted to leave, what would you think?"

"I'd teach it how to survive?"

Kanon Kanase's answer ca out a little uncertain. Not because she was unsure whether she would do that, but because she wasn't sure whether that was the correct answer. Cid could tell.

"…Sorry, Kanon. I shouldn't have treated you like a normal person. Are you sure you're not so Angel who ca from sowhere?"

Now it was Cid's turn to fall silent.

Looking into Kanon Kanase's eyes, for the first ti, Cid felt ashad of the filth in his own heart.

"Did I say sothing wrong?"

"No. My heart is just too filthy. It has nothing to do with you, Kanon."

"Kanon, when normal people run into sothing like that, their first reaction isn't to go along with the kitten. It's anger."

"Anger?"

"That's right. Anger. Anger that even though they gave it a better place to live, it still refused to stay put and insisted on running off to die.

As for whether the kitten can actually survive on its own, they won't think about that. They only believe what they can see.

It's not that you can't face other people's malice, Kanon. It's that you can't face the anger that cos when soone rejects your kindness, especially when that soone is your father."

"..."

Seeing Kanon Kanase lower her head again, Cid reached out and placed his hands on both sides of her face, lifting her head and forcing her to et his eyes.

Cid could feel her body tremble the mont his hands touched her cheeks. But just as he had said before, Kanon knew he was doing this for her sake, so she wouldn't resist.

"Kanon, you need to understand this is your matter. Whether I approve or not isn't what matters. What matters is what you want.

So... do you have the courage to resist?"

"I don't know, Cid-nii-san. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Her voice trembled with tears, and Cid could feel moisture running across his palms where they rested against her face. Her large eyes were brimming with tears now, and pearl-like drops slid down onto his hands.

Looking at Kanon Kanase quietly crying in front of him, Cid let out a helpless sigh.

Her answer was exactly what he had expected. After all, choosing to help soone and asking soone else for help were two completely different things.

If he could, he wouldn't want to push her like this either. But if he wanted to help Kanon, then he had to help her make up her mind. Otherwise, if he went to Kanon Kanase's ho to persuade her father and she lost her nerve at the crucial mont, not only would nothing be resolved, those eyes of hers would probably be filled with guilt and regret for the rest of her life.

Of course, he could also copy the male leads from ani and say sothing like he would carry the burden for her, or tell her to leave everything to him.

But setting aside how badly that clashed with his mob character persona, in his eyes, that kind of thing was irresponsible in its own way.

So this was sothing Kanon had to overco herself. She had to make the decision herself. At most, he could offer so advice. Deciding a friend's life for them was not sothing a friend should do.

Ah. It had gotten pretty late without him noticing.

Kanon probably needed so ti to think things through too, so he might as well leave for now.

Cid stood up and headed for the exit, but as he passed the counter, a staff mber called out to him.

"Sir, our parent company, Mitsugoshi Company, has been running a VIP promotion lately. Custors who make a purchase at this branch also receive a complintary couple's set al. It even cos in special packaging."

"We just checked, sir, and you're on our VIP list. Please accept this complintary gift."

Ignoring the staff mber's words, which clearly ca from a major misunderstanding, Cid turned his gaze to the tray nearby.

There were only two sandwiches on it. The only thing that set them apart from ordinary sandwiches was that the packaging was obviously designed as a matching pair. Other than that, the sll and appearance were no different from normal sandwiches. If he rembered correctly, the couple's set on the nu cost eight tis as much as a regular sandwich. And if it was specially customized, the price could double even from there.

He had to admit, even though Gamma was his friend and his childhood friend at that, soone he had known since they were young, he occasionally still had the urge to hang her from a streetlamp.

The part about it being free was even more ridiculous.

Did they seriously think a Mitsugoshi Company VIP was sothing you could get just by having money? There were fewer than a hundred thousand Mitsugoshi VIPs in the entire world. For people at that level, who would care about saving this little bit of money?

…Alright, except him.

Cid glanced back at Kanon Kanase, picked up one of the sandwiches, and set it on her table.

"Kanon, if you don't say things out loud, no one will know what you need. So be brave. Don't be a coward. Tell that you want my help."

"Here. This one's for you."

With that, Cid took the other sandwich from the counter and walked out the door.

To save money, the food he had ordered at the beginning had only been enough to fill Kanon Kanase's stomach a little. Since he had been given a complintary item, he split it with her. As for the other sandwich, he planned to preserve it with ti and space magic and use it as Monday's breakfast. He never paid for dinner anyway. He always summoned a Devil and freeloaded.