Aqua tapped a pen on her notepad as I lay on the couch across from her in the Goat’s office. She was dressed in a formal suit of armor for the day, more akin to my usual dress armour than her preferred flowing dress with armored accents.
I was in a set of casual leather shorts and a gambeson. Comfort was the word of the day.
“Why the couch?” Aqua asked.
“It’s traditional.”
“Um… oh, you an Earth traditional. They really lie down on couches while they get therapy?”
“Aye.”
“That’s interesting. I may try that with my other clients.”
“You could beco a [Chaise Hypnotist]. How many clients do ya have now?” I asked nonchalantly.
“More than ten and less than a thousand.” She smirked.
“Co oooon, that’s not sothing you need to keep secret, you can tell .”
“A good [Hypnotist] never reveals anything about her clients!” Aqua gestured expansively. “I have an Ability for that!”
“Uh huh. I did notice that you haven’t been talking as much recently.”
Aqua groaned. “Ugghhh, it’s a pain. I’m going to start joining Johnsson on his trips to the beardy parlour just so I can pick up so juicy gossip.”
“And maybe et a nice buff wrestler yerself?” I waggled my eyebrows.
She waggled hers back. “Aye, or maybe a dashing noble with an eye for blue beards and high intelligence.”
“At least you’ve got the blue beard!”
“Do you want this therapy session or not?”
“Oh, I do, Hypnotist Aqua. I really do,” I sighed.
Her voice grew insistent. “And are you sure you want to do it? My profession usually doesn’t perform on family mbers or friends. It can be awkward.”
I tapped my head. “Ya really think I can take these secrets to any old [Hypnotist].”
“You could get soone with [Keep Secrets], like . That’s why it’s such a popular Ability.”
“Not good enough. You have to know there’re ways around it if you get desperate enough.”
Aqua shrugged, surrendering the point. “Most [Hypnotists] aren’t strong enough to see your mories. That’s a high level Specialization. They help you see your mories, and help nd any damage to your Spirit through a combination of therapy and Abilities.”
“Like Healers, but fer tha mind?”
“No, the Spirit is a good deal more complex than the Spark, and where a [Healer] can just Ability away a broken limb, a [Hypnotist] can’t simply vanish trauma without changing who you are at a fundantal level. Spirit healing has to be sothing you do.”
I nodded. “Sounds good to . Let’s get started!”
“Very well. Peter Roughtuff, do you consent to using Abilities to calm you and give permission to manipulate your mind?”
I settled my back into the couch. “Sure, as long as you’re not a beardless bastard about it. I’ve had so issues with those. Y’know, you never read about transdinsional travelers goin’ in fer therapy, but Gods, so many of ‘em need it. They’re always dark and broodin’ and have the social graces of a stone wall.”
Aqua began writing in her notepad. Her voice gained an odd timbre as she spoke, likely her newest Milestone [Soothing Voice]. It tickled my brain in all the right ways. “Oh? And what finally made you decide to do it?”
*ding!*
Condition Gained: [Calm]!
You have gained the [Calm] Condition!
My shoulders slumped and my breathing grew just a bit easier. It felt like I’d just spent an hour listening to The Eagles’ greatest hits while relaxing in a hot bath. Just Take it Easy Pete. Therapy only works if you don’t fight it.
“I had a breakdown while I was fishin’ with Schist and Herder yesterday,” I explained. “All my mories from back ho ca floodin’ back, and it absolutely wrecked . I woke up this morning a ss.”
“What kind of mories?”
I closed my eyes, and listened to the sound of my heart beat. *Thump* *Thump*
I spoke the mories aloud as they ca to . “The feel of my wife lying in bed beside in the morning. The scent of spring grass. My daughter’s laughter.” I choked, and my heartbeat grew faster *ThumpThumpThump*. “Caroline’s salmon casserole, riding my bike through the foothills. The feel of the sea breeze ruffling my hair and the sun on my skin – ”
Tears sprang up under my eyelids again, and I found myself weeping. My voice ca out in a wheeze.
“It’s been three years, and I thought that I was getting over losing everything. But, the mont I slipped back into the past I just… fell apart. Gods, I feel weak. Wreck – Tourmaline was right, I am weak.”
I laughed bitterly.
Aqua passed a hanky. “Do you often have flashbacks of Earth?”
“I’d say not, not recently.”
“Have you been holding your mories of Earth back? Trying not to think about them?”
“I don’t know? I absolutely think about Earth from ti to ti. But not on purpose.” I blew a massive snot monster into the hanky. “Uh, sorry.’
“Just keep it. What pops to mind first about Earth.”
“My family.” I said instantly.
“Mmm…. Family is more of a concept than a mory. What mories pop into your mind.”
I closed my eyes. I could see Caroline and Sammy’s faces in my mind’s eye with ease. But it was surprisingly difficult to dredge up any important mories.
I focused, thinking back to my wedding. We’d held it at the local Anglican church. Neither of us were Anglican – Caroline was raised Protestant – but they had the longest aisle and a big organ. Caroline had worn a v-back white gown with lots of lace on the bottom. Her radiant smile as she’d walked down the aisle was burned into my very soul. She’d wanted a traditional wedding march, but she'd walked too fast, and the organist barely got to ‘here cos the groom, skinny as a broom’ before she was at the altar. She complained about that for years. Blad for distracting her with how handso I was. The mories flooded in faster and faster. The reception, the dancing, the wine bar.
As I rembered, I smiled, and it ca out strained. I realized with shock that I was crying again.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
Aqua waited for to collect myself. “What were you rembering?”
“My wedding.”
“Was it vivid, or dim?”
“Quite vivid. Especially given how long it’s been.”
“Did the mory co gradually or all at once?”
“All at once.”
She wrote so more notes with a *Scribble*. “When you were out fishing, you said your mories ‘flooded’ back. Did they co one at a ti, or in a wave?”
“A wave.”
“Was it the mories themselves that were overwhelming, or the sheer amount?”
“... Both, I think. But more the mories. They were just… so strong.”
She penciled so more into her notepad, then crossed her legs and gave a serious look. ”Pete. Would you say you’ve been suppressing your mories of ho?”
“No. I –” I stopped, and thought about it for a few minutes. Aqua watched in silence, not even writing in her book.
Eventually, I spoke. “You could call it that, I guess, but I wasn’t trying to forget. Just… not think about it.”
Aqua smiled sadly. “Yes, that’s what suppressing is. It’s one of the most common Spiritual disorders that [Hypnotists] deal with. It’s normal.”
She patted on the shoulder. “You’re trying not to rember sothing painful. And that’s okay.”
I sniffed. “I’m taking one star off my review for the unsolicited physical contact.”
Aqua’s hand froze and she withdrew it with a frown.
“And you’ve been using a flippant attitude to redirect that pain.” She shot back.
I smirked. “Is that a diagnosis from my therapist or a riposte from a friend?”
“A dwarfess’s observation.” She resettled herself and put her [Calming Voice] back on.
“I’m going to use two Abilities on you. [Inner Sight] and [Sense Emotions]. [Inner Sight] will help you experience a powerful old mory, and [Sense Emotions] will let sense what you’re feeling. I won’t be able to see your mory, but I’ll be able to read your emotions.”
I relaxed into the couch and closed my eyes, then nodded.
*ding!*
Milestone Used
A [Hypnotist] is trying to use [Sense Emotions] on you.
Do you accept?
Yes/No
*ding!*
Milestone Used
A [Hypnotist] is trying to use [Inner Sight] on you.
Do you accept?
Yes/No
I accepted both prompts.
Then, I fell.
—
I arched my back, which cracked with a staccato of pops, then grunted in pain and grabbed my hips.
“You’re getting old, old man.” The voice of my darling wife jibed from my left.
The hot sun of the Okanagan beat down on my back, kept off by a combination of SPF 60 sunscreen and a white no-na wifebeater. I adjusted the basket full of grapes on my hip as I turned a baleful eye on my traitorous spouse.
“I don’t mock you when your knees hurt.” I pointed at her kneepads.
“Well, maybe you should get kneepads of your own. And bend with your knees, not your back.”
I shoved her, she elbowed , I knocked her knees out with a kick. She yanked down with her. We rolled around in the dirt, laughing, play fighting, and proclaiming various aches and pains.
Our laughter eventually devolved into kisses. After all, Sammy was at college and we were the only ones on four acres of vineyard.
It was one of many heady, idyllic sumrs in the balmy air of Beautiful British Columbia.
My last sumr.
—
I ca back to myself with a start. This ti the mory had been strong, but not as sudden and overwhelming as before. It was more like living it again than simply rembering.
I shivered. “That’s a dangerous ability. I could see people getting addicted to it.”
Aqua nodded. “It can be addicting. But so is beer. And food. At least soone has to be Titled to get [Inner Sight], and I can’t use it on myself.”
I held a hand up to my cheek and it ca away dry. “I didn't cry this ti!”
“I noticed that, yes. How did you feel during the mory?”
“It was a happy mory. But I felt… sad. lancholic? Maybe more depressed. Y’know, you were the one reading my emotions the whole ti, why don’t you just tell what I felt.”
Aqua shook her head. “No, it’s important that you tell what you’re feeling first. It helps us determine if you’re being honest with your own emotions. But yes, what you’re describing is exactly what I felt; pain, and depression.”
“So… I have depression?”
“Not quite.” Aqua flipped to another page in her notebook. “How are you sleeping?”
“Well enough? Better since I fully integrated with body.”
“... that’s beyond my training. Do you have nightmares?”
“Eh, sotis? Doesn’t everybody?”
“Insomnia?”
“No?”
She gave a hard stare. “We all know you’re constantly up till the wee hours in the brewroom.”
“Okay, a little insomnia,” I hedged.
“Have you been seeing anybody?”
“I see dead people,” I whispered monotone.
“... what?”
“No, I’m not seeing anybody.”
Aqua made so more notes. “Why?”
“Why not? Do I need to go on dates? Is a man not allowed to have a fantasy adventure without a pretty lady hanging on his arm?”
“No, Pete. WHY? Are you not attracted to anyone? Are you not interested? Are you avoiding close relationships?”
Tourmaline’s platinum curls ca unbidden to my mind, and I banished them. “I’m just… not interested in dating right now,” I sidestepped, defensive. “Okay, honestly, maybe I am avoiding them a little. But I just lost my wife, I don’t want a girlfriend!”
Aqua held up a calming hand. “I know Pete. It’s okay. We’re just exploring your motivations.
She made so more notes in her book, and we sat in silence for a while as her pencil scritched.
Finally she sat forward and cleared her throat.
“Okay Pete. I suspect you have complex post traumatic stress disorder. You’ve been through a traumatic event. Several if we include everything that happened to you in the mine. Complex post traumatic stress disorder matches most of your symptoms.”
“I have… PTSD?”
“Complex PTSD. It’s a result of long term trauma, rather than a single event. I think dying, losing your family, coming to terms with a new world, being attacked by monsters, building a new life, and everything else you’ve experienced on Erd definitely counts as long term trauma. CPTSD is associated with heavy emotional outbursts during episodes, insomnia, avoidance of serious relationships and mory triggers, and isolation.”
“I’m not isolating myself!”
“Pete. When was the last ti you weren’t working alone in your room, or pouring yourself into your beer alone, or fighting with the guild, or trying to beat everyone in so competition? How often do you need to remind yourself to reach out? When was the last ti you spent a day off with a friend?”
I thought back. “Umm…. I an, I’ve had a few days off. Like going fishing!”
“Weren’t you forced to go fishing? And what do you do during those days off?”
I thought back. “Study magic. Summon stuff with [Pete’s Miniature Rembrance]. Read history.”
Aqua shook her head. “Pete. You have a family now. A house. A ho. People who support you. It’s okay to step away for a bit. In fact, I’m going to prescribe it.”
“You’re prescribing ti off? I’m your boss!” I said, aghast.
“And you agreed to listen to when I’m being your therapist! If you won’t do that then I won’t do this anymore!” She snapped back.
I crossed my arms and grumped. “Fine. I’ll take a break. [Doctor’s] orders.”
“[Hypnotist]. And you won’t practice brewing, or magic, or study. You’ll actually stop.”
“Not even magic!?” I cried in shock.
“No. Pete, you need to reminisce a bit. Slow down and spend ti thinking about your past, or it’s going to continue to overwhelm you.”
She rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “Tell you what. Johnsson’s going to the beardy parlour again tomorrow afternoon. You go with him. Listen to the latest gossip and just enjoy getting your beard brushed. And maybe go see so wrestling with him too. Okay?”
I really did want to go see Dwarf Draconis fight again. Aqua was really pulling my beard here.
“Alright. Fine, I’ll do it.” I hopped to my feet, rubbing my hands together like scrooge mcduck with a sack of gold. “Thanks. Good session, this helped a lot, now get out of my office ya miscreant.”
Aqua rolled her eyes and stood. “This is the thanks I get? You’re a real sonnuvanannygoat, aren’t ya, Pete?”
I placed finger horns on my temple and bleated. “Baaaaaaah!”
*Baaaaaaahhh!?!?* [Translated from Primma Donna Goat] “What dids’t though call , varlet!?”
User Comments
0 comments from readers