Between Beast And Buddha: A Drunken Monkey's Journey to Immortality B1 Chapter 2

Orange-crest was discovering far too many new things this night.

Nobody had ever told him that hairless ones could soar through the sky like birds! The hairless one had grabbed his frozen form with a single hand, like quick-fingers carried the little one, before leaping into the sky.

At first, icy fear had gripped him. Monkeys might swing through trees, but they were not ant to fly! But being afraid was hard work, and so was wrangling the fire that still burned within him. His mind could not manage both at once, and so the fear yielded before the strange storm brewing in his chest. Orange-crest fought against the force that held him, marshalling fire and muscle alike. The pressure in his chest slowly subsided, as he gave the wild force sothing other than his body to fight against.

"Good! Struggle against my spell, use that qi for sothing! It'd be better for the great work ahead if you could direct it to sharpen your mind, but any steps you take now will ease the road later."

Did this hairless one ever stop hooting? Couldn't he take a mont to point, or gesture, to explain what he ant by the incessant noise? Strange hungers and odd whims indeed, the Monkey King had been right.

"Perhaps those pills for dullards might help him develop a mind worth the na? They did nothing in traditional animal tests, but those beasts lacked whatever fortuitous encounter this fellow had. Certainly in n we only see results in those rare few who achieve so level of innate qi despite being born lacking wits."

Annoying! Orange-crest did not like this strange hairless one, binding and grabbing and ignoring him! He would teach him a lesson! So what if he couldn't move, he had fire within him! Upon Mount Yuelu, only the Monkey King commanded fire. With its terrible power, he destroyed the unholy hives of the Bee King, and chastised hungry tigers. However strange and mighty this hairless one was, he was no match for the overwhelming power of fla!

Orange-crest stoked the fire within him. He knew it wasn't normal fire, but it felt fire-like, so that should an it acted like fire! He imagined the weakness in his limbs as dry sumr grasses, ripe for the reaping blaze. Aid your wayward child, oh mighty Monkey King, he prayed. Grant your flas!

His chest grew hot and wild, and he felt sothing around him shudder, then break. Hah! Now the hairless one would know his wrath!

"Eeek!" Orange-crest spun around the hairless one's arm, surrendering fur to escape his grasp. He charge-climbed for the kidnapper's head. Let him see how he liked having what little hair he had pulled out! It was not an easy climb. The strange white not-fur that he bore gave and slackened whenever the monkey pulled on it, making for poor footing.

Huh. Perhaps hairless one was a good-bad na. They did have hair after all, it was just sparse and strange.

"Hah! You did it! Good! But I can't have you wasting too much of your qi now, or dirtying my robe with your filthy paws. Ti to go to sleep."

The mostly-hairless one was quick as a serpent! He slapped orange-crest upon the back, and the fire within him went out. His limbs felt heavy as mountains, and in monts he fell into a deep slumber.

"If only you were as much a prodigy at language as you are at cultivation." The man known among his fellow n as Daoist Scouring dicine bemoaned. "I am not looking forward to this."

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When orange-crest awoke, his head hurt, but his mind was clear. He sat up and winced. His head felt like red-eyes had used it to vent his frustrations. What had the mostly-hairless one done to him!

The mostly-hairless one!

Fear gripped his heart with fruit-greedy fingers. He rose, and found himself trapped. The branches of so strange tree were woven all about him. What madness was this? Did the hairless ones command trees to grow in evil shapes?

Orange-crest grabbed the bars of his prison, feeling them flex but not break as he shook them.

"Eek! Eeeeek!" He screeched, clenching his brow as his own calls sent bolts of pain shooting through his head. Devious hairless one, cursing him with head-pain!

There was only one reason why they would put him in such an evil contraption. They were going to eat him! This must be a winter-tree, to save his supple flesh for the cold months!

He cried and screeched, prayed for the Monkey King to save him, for his brothers to band together and break his bonds, but no aid ca. What a fool he had been, disregarding the sage guidance of his king. Woe! Woe was he whose magnanimous love had led him to seek to comfort the mostly-hairless one in its grief. A love that had been betrayed with treachery!

The mighty big-butt would never have been taken in by its underhanded magics. His roar would have sent the mostly-hairless one packing!

For many hours, orange-crest wallowed in his fears and recriminations, slowly recovering from the hangover he blad upon the daoist who had kidnapped him.

And then the daoist returned. Orange-crest's fury returned with him.

He hooted and hollered, making every profane and rude sound a monkey had ever uttered under the sun. His mother was a slug! His face looked like a great-spiked-fruit slled! He climbed like a fish and swam like a spider! His fur was so mangy it didn't exist!

If he could not be free, he could at least be loud and rude!

"Shut up! I allow the elders and that damnable rchant to whine at , I will not tolerate it from you!" The daoist roared back.

With the unerring accuracy of a martial master, Scouring dicine chucked a pogranate at the angry monkey's head. It landed true with a satisfying splat, silencing the stunned monkey.

"Good. You might be a dumb animal now, but one day, you will acknowledge this day as the greatest fortuitous encounter of your life. Well, assuming neither the pill, the bath, the other disciples, or your own incompetence kills you."

Orange-crest sniffed at the little fruit-in-fruits that covered his fur and cage. They slt good, even through his bruised nose. He had never seen this fruit before. It was not one of the Seven Fruits of Mount Yuelu. He ate one, finding it bright and tangy. Oddly crunchy, but definitely food.

Orange-crest never forgot a grudge, but fruit was fruit. And he was hungry.

"Then again," the daoist mused to himself. "Dying in the service of my practice is a higher honor than you could ever have hoped to achieve on that mountain. Why, the rits you would earn by unknowingly advancing dicine might be enough to earn you a human reincarnation, even if you should die in the process. Truly, my magnanimity is second to none."

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Daoist Scouring dicine watched as his monkey tracked down every little aril, even extending a hand beyond the bars of the cage to grab a few off the floor.

"Co on you stupid beast, eat the damn pill." He muttered.

Orange-crest's eyes narrowed. He didn't like the way the the mostly-hairless one was cooing at him. Now certain he'd found every scattered tiny-fruit, the monkey turned to the largest piece. A fruit-stone. Not usually edible. He sniffed at it. Odd. It was a very soft-fruit stone, not squishable, but not unyielding beneath his fingers either. It slled almost like the healing-herbs of the Monkey King.

He considered eating it. If the flesh of a fruit was good, the stone and skin were usually at least safe. Stones were often too hard to eat. Skins were usually bitter, or chewy. But neither of them were typically toxic. But orange-crest was a proud son of Mount Yuelu, and he knew that fruit-stones were for throwing.

The daoist stepped closer, trying to see what his monkey was doing with the pill he'd hidden in the fruit.

"Ook!" Orange-crest cried heroically, throwing the pill at the daoist's head.

Viper-fast, his damnable captor caught the projectile. Truly, quick-fingers had a most formidable contender for her na. What would she be if another monkey had quicker fingers? Dancing-mother? River-fur?

"Damn you. The beast must think it's a pit. I don't know if that makes it dull or keen. It certainly makes it irritating. Can't you do anything right? Just eat the damn pill." The Scouring dicine complained.

Inspiration struck him, and he stepped even closer to the monkey's cage, just at the edge of the animal's reach. The scroll he'd read had told him not to smile at the beast. They apparently treated bared teeth as a sign of aggression. Instead, he popped his lips in a exaggerated caricature of hunger.

"You better eat this, I can't believe I'm deaning myself like this for your sake, acting like an animal. When they write about my glorious attainnts, the chroniclers will leave this part out."

He raised the pill to his mouth slowly. It would be such a waste, a Mind-Opening Pill wasn't that expensive for a daoist of his stature, but they were obscure enough he had to make them himself.

Orange-crest watched as the mostly-hairless made to finish the fruit he'd thrown. Greed overpowered his fear and anger. If the mostly-hairless wanted the food, orange-crest wanted the food more! He darted forward, channeling his best impression of quick-fingers. The mostly-hairless might be fast as a viper, but orange-crest was fast as a monkey! Quicker than thought, he stuffed the fruit-stone in his mouth and swallowed.

"Finally. This alone will make dealing with your nonsense worthwhile. There has been so little research worth the na in the initial steps involved in the ascension of spirit beasts and yaogui. I suppose I shall simply have to do the work of the beast tars for them."

Fire built behind orange-crest's eyes. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Inner-fire had broken the hairless-one's foul magic, but fire killed things. Then again, plant-fire burned like fire, but did not kill. Did the hairless one trick him into eating plant-fire? That still wasn't quite right. The burn wasn't localized to his mouth, but spreading like a wildfire across sumr-grass. Plant-fire didn't do that. At worst it made a monkey sweat and redden, if they ate a dozen of the curvy little bitter-fruits to win a wager.

Orange-crest's eyes narrowed. He tricked other monkeys. Other monkeys did not trick orange-crest. Well, except the king. The Monkey King tricked everyone. It was his right as king after all, to be more monkey than any other monkey. Orange-crest might as well complain at the trees for being taller than him.

But this hairless-one had no such right!

"Persimmon."

The hoot distracted orange-crest from his musings on the nature of royalty. This hairless-one was so annoying!

But his hands! He held another piece of fruit. Orange-crest knew this one, it was the orange-squish-fruit. A rare delicacy, ranked second among the Seven Fruits of Mount Yuelu. So would argue it stood first, but orange-crest kept to the orthodox rankings proclaid by the Monkey King. Also, he was partial to red-fleshed stone-fruits. They made better wine than orange-squish-fruits.

Red-eyes had actually once argued that orange-crest should in fact have been nad orange-squish-fruit-face, but every-monkey had agreed that he was too handso for such a na. Nobody let red-eyes na things. He was too an to be a good nar-of-things.

Orange-crest felt strange. Like his attention had beco unmoored from his will. His mind flitted about, bringing distant mories to the forefront.

The monkey took a breath. The delicate scent of unbroken orange-squish-fruit returned him to the present.

The mostly-hairless one held a fresh orange-squish-fruit in his hand, even though it was yet too early in the season for them. Perhaps there were rits to these hairless monkeys if their orchards were this fruitful. Orange-crest would tolerate many things being thrown in his face, if they had orange-squish fruits available year round. The only reason it was officially ranked second is because its season was so short atop Mount Yuelu. The red-fleshed stone-fruits trees yielded so much more food.

"Persimmon." Daoist Scouring dicine repeated. He kept the rest of his comntary non-verbal, to avoid distracting the beast with foreign words. This was the simplest form of teaching known to man. Co on you stupid monkey. Repeat the na.

The monkey tried a dive, but Scouring dicine was more than ready. He was no true martial expert, but he would cut off his top-knot in sha if a damn monkey got the drop on him. He pulled the fruit just out of the reach of its greedy fingers.

"Persimmon." The daoist repeated.

"Imma."

"Persimmon."

"Immon."

"Persimmon." He repeated again.

"Persmamon."

Close enough. He'd forgotten that their jaws weren't the sa as n's. The intent was clear at least. He handed the monkey the fruit, watched as the greedy beast sared the soft orange flesh all over its face. Ugh. He'd have to bathe the creature at so point, lest it stink up his quarters. Daoist Enduring Oath couldn't finish that tracking treasure soon enough.

Orange-crest felt the strange ache in his head returning, the fire slowly transforming into a dull pressure. At least the hairless one was pointing at things now. And handing him food instead of throwing it! The strange animal did understand manners! They were not as uncivilized as he'd first feared. Surely they would bow before the might and nobility of his king when he ca to rescue his wayward subject.

Daoist Scouring dicine repeated the exercise with a variety of objects. Lychees and grapes, rocks and sticks. The monkey obeyed when the object was sothing it could eat, or shiny or otherwise interesting. But it quickly grew recalcitrant when it could not touch or eat the object he pointed to. Ornery beast.

Then again, he didn't need the beast to be learning language right now. Any ntal stimulation would do. The Mind-Opening Pill was hardly a pill at all. In truth, it bore more similarity to a body tempering bath. It did not make a man more intelligent through its own effect, but instead simply induced an artificial movent of the patient's own qi. The herbs and minerals composing it all naturally congregated within the seat of reason, and drew qi to themselves. This effect allowed the subject to effectively perform the very first steps of bodily refinent without any thod at all.

This crude thod would not allow a man to surpass average intelligence, no matter how much qi he possessed. But in the rare occasion a fool had a fortuitous encounter, it could be used to aliorate his ailnt, allowing him a chance at pursuing proper cultivation.

Considering this, Scouring dicine let his monkey out of its cage. Even with no tracking talisman, it wouldn't be able to escape under his supervision.

He watched the beast gambol about his rooms, touching everything that could be touched. He followed behind it, naming objects as the monkey rifled through them. Only a few tis did he find himself needing to give the beast a smack, when it tugged at locked cabinets, or began pawing at his finer robes.

Eventually, it tired. He smiled despite himself. That was a sign the pill was working. As the two of them sat together, he drew a clay jug out from a cabinet.

"Wine." Scouring dicine said.

"Mine." The monkey answered, greedy fingers extended.

"Close enough." He poured the beast a cup, and together they drank. The damned thing was a ssy drinker. He wasn't sure if the fact that it licked up all the wine its impatient hands spilled was more or less hygienic than if it'd simply left the ss alone.

Orange-crest's mind was fuzzy. There were so many new things around him, strange objects he'd never seen or dreamt of. He struggled to imagine how they might be used. And the heaviness in his head did not help. But he knew this part. The strange hairless one had shared food with him, and now shared wine of a potency orange-crest had achieved but once in his brewing career. Fine victuals indeed.

Every-monkey knew that words were wind. Actions were more true, but a kindness that did not cost could conceal hungry-eyes. But to share that which was most precious in life, the choicest of fruits? That showed an intention as clear and pure as the first snow-lts of spring.

"Brother." Orange-crest intoned solemnly in the true tongue. His first hairless brother! Sure, their relationship had a rocky start, but what brothers did not fight from ti to ti?

"I have no idea what you said, but I suppose I'll drink to that." Scouring dicine replied.