Raiding the vault proved to be very profitable.
Wepwawet and Victoire elected to examine the entire inventory before dealing with their potential new recruit. The hoard they found included a wealth of gold and silver coins, necklaces, statuettes, and jewelry worth a fortune when put together.
Besides Victoire’s new spear, Wepwawet also identified two particularly interesting artifacts. The first was a centuries-old, magically preserved to bound in a cover of dragonscales. While lacking any particular enchantnt besides the one preserving it from the ravages of ti, Wepwawet quickly read through its contents in an instant and realized that it contained a wealth of spellcasting research; including how to create vaults like this one and alchemical slis. This to probably belonged to a court mage of so kind and would greatly benefit the likes of Wintresse or Renarde.
The other, most important find was a golden diadem with six ivory fangs for horns and engraved with a winged lion’s symbol. This crown’s magic put even the spear’s to sha.
Crown of Valentine
Category: Accessory (Crown)
Quality: S
Effect 1: Stat Booster (two spots): Grants 5 CHA and LCK to the wearer.
Effect 2: Royal Protection (two spots): Grants immunity to ntal ailnts, such as Charm or Madness.
Effect 3: Valentinian Authority: Allows the user to call and command the Questing Beast of Glatisant.
Restriction: The crown only grants its power to the properly ordained Monarch of Valentine.
The lost crown of Valentine, who overthrew its last mad king in a bloody revolt. Sha the ntal protection didn’t work against self-inflicted derangents, right?
“What’s the Questing Beast of Glatisant?” Wepwawet asked Victoire.
“A creature said to represent the Valentinian Royal Family,” Victoire answered calmly. Both of them found it much easier to get past their very difficult earlier conversation when focusing on the vault’s treasures. “It’s only a legend.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Considering how the Lunarians had turned out to be very real, Wepwawet would assu all of this world’s legends were true until demonstrably proven otherwise. “Can you put the crown on?”
Victoire hesitated an instant and then reluctantly placed the diadem on her head. The gold contrasted neatly with her blue hair, but while the crown’s magic subtly reacted to her, most of its power remained dormant.
“It looks good on you,” Wepwawet said, which only caused his Champion to adorably glare back at him. Victoire clearly hated being teased about her newfound royal status. “Do you feel any different?”
“Yes, I feel uncomfortable,” Victoire complained. “Can I take it off?”
“It seems the magic isn’t responding to you,” Wepwawet replied. “The crown’s description says the monarch must be properly ordained before it grants them its power.”
“Valentinian Monarchs were crowned in the royal capital of Saguenay’s cathedral, which is half a world away.” Victoire took off the crown and put it back on its pedestal. “Is there any other way to harness its power?”
“None that I can think of,” Wepwawet complained. The crown would have been a powerful piece of gear in Victoire’s hands. “Guess we’ll keep it stored away for now. It might co in handy one day.”
“So we’re finished… except for that thing.” Victoire glanced at the golden sli trapped in its flask. “You said it is so sort of living ooze?”
“One created by whoever wrote the grimoire,” Wepwawet confird. “Such creatures are usually mindless, but since only sentient creatures can beco Champions this one should be an exception.”
“Usually?” Victoire raised an eyebrow. “Are creatures like this created often?”
“All the ti! Half of a world’s monsters can usually be traced back to a wizard’s lab mishap.” And the other half to divine punishnts, but Victoire was better off not knowing that detail. “I’ll trap it in ice should it prove hostile.”
“I would like to receive a Rank-Up beforehand, just in case.” Victoire scowled. “And please don’t tell I’m eligible for a princess path or sothing.”
“Surprisingly not,” Wepwawet replied, though he guessed that was probably because Victoire hadn’t been properly ordained. “So… Snowheart?”
Victoire unsurprisingly nodded. Wepwawet couldn’t deny feeling a bit dejected at it, however much he tried to hide it. The thought of seeing his first and holiest Champion trying out the Paladin class appeared more and more unlikely. Their last conversation had only further hamred that nail in its coffin.
In fact, it gnawed at Wepwawet’s heart too. What kind of aspiring god couldn’t lift his first Champion’s spirit? He felt he was failing both Victoire and his divine duties in his inability to guide her in how to process the concept of death.
Maybe those cram school sessions Father ntioned could help with that, Wepwawet thought as he bathed Victoire in his holy light. I’m sure people like Allfather Odin or Lord Zeus would know better than I do.
Victoire Fleuret has ranked up in Snowheart! 3 STR, 3 AGI, 3 VIT, 4 SKI, 3 MAG, 3 INT, 4 CHA, 3 LCK! She gained the Weaponmaster II Perk!
Weaponmaster II: All Weapon Artifacts equipped inflict 5 Damage. This replaces Weaponmaster I.
Wepwawet also took the opportunity to record her new spear as an Artifact Miracle while at it, switching it out with the remaining copy of Boost Champion. The weapon was simply too good not to keep a record of it.
Quest: Relic Hunt III, completed! You’ve earned the Dragontooth Rank 9 Artifact Miracle.
Dragontooth Spear
Rank 9 Artifact
Unique. Conjures the Dragontooth Spear (quality A) at a designated spot.
Dragontooth Spear
Category: Weapon (Spear)
Quality: A
Bonus: 17 STR
Accuracy: 12 AV
Weight: 9
Effect 1: Dragonfang (two spots): Ignores half of a target’s vitality and Dragonscale’s damage resistance.
Effect 2: Returning Weapon: Returns to the user’s hand when called.
Effect 3: Flaming Weapon: Inflicts Fire damage.
A legendary dragon’s discarded toothpick (tooth included in the package), which humans eventually ca to consider a sacred weapon.
New Quest: Relic Hunt IV
Acquire and bless a unique relic of cultural significance.
Reward: Artifact Miracle.
Wepwawet noticed two interesting trends. First of all, the Relic Hunt quest always renewed itself without any change and showed no increasing difficulty like all the others. Either it was simply a way for the System to validate all Artifact Miracles, or Wepwawet needed to complete hidden conditions to gain access to better quests.
Second, an Artifact’s quality rating heavily affected its associated Miracle’s ranking. Victoire’s B-ranked Magna-Shield was a rank 5 Miracle, while the A-ranked Torc of Grand-Loup and Dragontooth Spear were ranked 7 and 9 respectively. This implied that an S-ranked item like the Crown of Valentine would probably clock at Rank 10 or more, making them extrely costly to cast.
My issue is that all the higher-ranked Artifacts have been unique so far, so I can’t create more than one like I could with Sacred Weapon, Wepwawet thought. I shouldn’t clog my deck with too many of them. The only unique Artifacts worth recording are those most of my Champions could use in a pinch or those mighty enough to alter the course of entire battles on their own.
“Alright, I’m done,” Wepwawet told Victoire. “Let us interrogate our new Champion.”
Victoire nodded, grabbed the bottle, and then proceeded to spill out the contents of the container onto the floor. A high-pitched, bellowing sound imdiately echoed throughout the Holy Vault in response.
Laughter.
“Mwahaha, fools! Fools! You’ve broken the seal!” The amber-colored sli expanded until it beca as large as a pig, with black spots stretching on its surface to form a smiley-like visage. “For centuries I’ve laid dormant, plotting my escape from that silicate prison! Prostrate yourself before Slimon! First of all oozes, master of the boneless! The greatest nonvertebrate genius this world has ever seen!”
A short and awkward silence followed, with both Wepwawet and Victoire exchanging a glance in their shared confusion.
The ooze deflated, figuratively and literally. “Y-you don’t know ?”
“Should we?” Victoire asked, more confused than anything.
“You understand him?” Wepwawet inquired. Whatever language the sli spoke differed from Verglane’s common tongue.
“It’s Valentinian,” Victoire replied with a sigh. “Old, archaic Valentinian.”
“A-archaic? I’m at the cutting edge of grammastic advancent!” The sli hopped in place like a petulant child. “In fact, I invent new words all the ti! Like slitastic!”
Wepwawet scoffed. “That’s where the genius part cos from?”
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“W-Why are you making it sound like it’s not an impressive achievent?!” The sli expanded slightly like a pressurized balloon, its color changing from yellow-orange to bright red. “I’ve invented stuff! Good stuff!”
“Like what?” Victoire asked with skepticism.
“Like…” The sli struggled to answer for a mont, its body paling until it ca up with a solution. “A washing substance that, when mixed with hot water, cleans the skin of impurities!”
“Soap?” Victoire squinted at the sli in disbelief. “You’ve invented soap?”
“Yes! And that paper thing you humanoids use to wipe that portable sewer hole organ in your behind!” The sli’s spot-eyes squinted in an expression that oozed smugness. “What do you say to that, huh? Huh?!”
Oh, I get it, it’s the compensating-for-their-size type of Champion. Wepwawet wondered when he would encounter one of those. Miss Athena had extensively briefed her students on how to treat those kinds of troublemakers.
Whatever the case, Victoire didn’t look impressed either. “Why would the inventor of soap end up trapped in a flask?”
“Because I was betrayed! Betrayed!” The sli reddened once again. “My assistant, Ingsworth, envious of my superior intellect and innovative approach to science, cast an all-powerful spell that trapped in that unbreakable prison!”
Wepwawet didn’t detect any magic in the flask nor found it particularly difficult to break, but Victoire blinked in surprise. “Ingsworth? The archmage?” she asked, her voice laced with disbelief. “You knew him?”
“Of course I did, he creat—discovered ! That hominid still owes money!”
“Archmage Ingsworth advised King Valentine I, who went on to found the eponymous kingdom,” Victoire inford Wepwawet. “If this sli tells the truth, then he has been around for at least six centuries.”
“I-if I’m telling the truth?” the sli complained. “Are you still doubting ?”
“Of course not, blessed Slimon,” Wepwawet said, sensing his chance for a recruitnt speech. “I am Wepwawet, god of this land. I ca to this place lured by a powerful mind worthy of divine inspiration.”
“W-what, really?” the sli brightened, literally. His skin turned so golden he might as well have transford into a pile of actual gold. “I an, yes, of course the heavens would recognize my peerless genius!”
“I have descended from the sky itself to give you a holy mission,” Wepwawet said while Victoire rolled her eyes. “A great danger threatens this land I watch over, and only a brilliant mind may light the way to our victory!”
“Say no more, sir!” Slimon replied with enthusiasm. “Gim a lab worthy of my non-euclidian intellect, and I shall put the fire of victory in a bottle!”
This went easier than Wepwawet expected. He had expected Slimon to doubt his divinity or ask for proof, but the ooze appeared to take the possibility that a god would show up to recruit it for granted.
My stepmother was right, many mortals would kill for a complint. Wepwawet swiftly claid Slimon as his Champion and checked his stats. Let's see what he’s worth.
Na
Slimon, the First Ooze
Type
Sli
Rank
3
Class
Royal Jelly 1 (Monster), Inventor 2 (Crafter)
Faction
Wepwawet
Movent
Walk/Swim
Strength
Agility
Vitality
Skill
12
10
32
7
Magic
Intelligence
Charisma
Luck
19
21
21
26
Accuracy
16
Evasion
18
Innate Perk: Slimony
Immune to Physical, Corrosion, Lightning, and Critical Hits, but weak to Frost and Fire. Immune to Poison, Sleep, Paralysis, and Stun Ailnts. Inflicts Corrosion damage on physical contact.
Sli Duplication I
Innovation I
If possessing enough mass to split, spawns a smaller mindless ooze when hit by a physical attack.
Can craft any item up to quality D with the required material, but chances of success are equal to (INT LCK)/2. Failures will be useless at best and dangerous at worst.
Failure Tolerance I
You take only half-damage from the backlash of your own items, failed crafting attempts, and attacks.
Wepwawet reread Innovation I, then checked Slimon’s stats and ran a quick calculation in his head.
The sli had three chances out of four to fail at everything.
I can guess why this Ingsworth found this Slimon’s ‘innovative approach to science’ worthy of imprisonnt, Wepwawet thought after reading the Failure Tolerance I perk. Then again, it can create almost anything one-fourth of the ti.
Wepwawet could put Slimon to work at creating prototypes which more consistent crafters could then mass-produce. Plus, it was bound to know a few interesting secrets if it had survived for over half a millennium.
“Okay, okay, I feel the inspiration flowing already!” Slimon said the mont Wepwawet empowered him with Skill: Masterworker. “How about a… a mushroom bomb?! Like a bomb that turns hominids into mushrooms, whose spores infect other hominids?! How does that sound?!”
Ah, and here ca Miss Athena’s Mushroom Rule: “As a world’s technology level improves, the probability of a weapon resembling nuclear bombs appearing approaches one.” Wepwawet had hoped he wouldn’t have to deal with it for a few centuries at the very least.
“Sounds like you’ll need peace and quiet to make it a reality!” Wepwawet replied while ntally looking for the most remote and isolated room he could find in Prosse. The further away the sli’s laboratory was from populated areas, the better. “Out of curiosity, how do you feel about safety procedures?”
“Contemptuous, sir!”
Figures.
True to Wepwawet’s command, his Champions worthy of Rank-Up showed up on ti at the Prosse Altar to receive their blessings. Wepwawet was happy to see Lourson and Goreville among them, though the forr would probably have to pace himself for a few days until he fully recovered from his previous wounds.
Most of their choices of Rank-Up didn’t surprise him all that much. Filou obviously chose to continue down the path of the Squire, while Alpine, Lourson, and Viviane wished to further their skills in their Barkeep, Blacksmith, and Ranger Classes respectively. As for Mistouffe, she imdiately asked to Rank-up Twice in rchant the mont Wepwawet inford her she could.
The only Champions that hesitated about their choices were Goreville and Sagesse, since those two could either choose to strengthen their own innate wereling Classes or continue down the path of the Vanguard or that of the Nurologist. Goreville eventually settled on strengthening his Werewolf side in an attempt to honor his god and lupine heritage, while Sagesse straight-up asked Wepwawet which choice would benefit their community more.
“There is no right or wrong path, but we have many wereowls, and only one mistress of numbers,” Wepwawet had said, after which Sagesse imdiately chose Nurologist.
Filou has ranked up in Squire! 3 STR, 3 AGI, 3 VIT, 3 SKI, 3 MAG, 3 INT, 3 CHA, 3 LCK! He gained the Rider Apprentice I Perk!
Rider Apprentice I: You can ride a Rank 1 monstrous creature or animal without splitting your attention, allowing you to attack at the sa ti.
Alpine has ranked up in Barkeep! 4 STR, 1 AGI, 3 VIT, 4 SKI, 2 MAG, 2 INT, 3 CHA, 4 LCK! She gained the Bar Fighter I Perk!
Bar Fighter I: All items used as weapons inflict 1 Damage, including furniture and improvised projectiles; the bonus doubles against intoxicated opponents.
Goreville has ranked up in Werewolf! 3 STR, 3 AGI, 4 VIT, 4 SKI, 3 MAG, 1 INT, 4 CHA, 3 LCK! He gained the Lupine Regeneration I Perk!
Lupine Regeneration I: You always benefit from a Regen effect at night; however, the effect is suppressed for one hour if you are struck by a silver weapon.
Lourson has ranked up in Blacksmith! 3 STR, 1 AGI, 4 VIT, 3 SKI, 4 INT, 1 CHA, 1 LCK! He gained the Smith Insight Perk!
Smith Insight: You can automatically identify the properties of any tal weapon that you see, ignoring related checks; this also includes tallic Artificial creatures with offensive purposes.
Viviane Coeurdelion has ranked up in Ranger! 2 STR, 4 AGI, 1 VIT, 5 SKI, 1 MAG, 2 INT, 4 LCK! She gained the Field Trip I Perk!
Field Trip I: You take no penalty from Terrain effects.
Mistouffe has ranked up in rchant, twice in a row! 4 STR, 4 AGI, 4 VIT, 6 SKI, 4 MAG, 4 INT, 8 CHA, 10 LCK! She gained the Bag of Holding I and Costcutter I Perks!
Bag of Holding I: You can ignore the carrying weight of one item per Rank; items with the lowest weight are given priority.
Costcutter I: The mana cost of Artifacts Miracles cast on this Champion is reduced by 1.
Sagesse has ranked up in Nurologist! 2 STR, 2 AGI, 2 VIT, 3 SKI, 2 MAG, 2 INT, 4 CHA, 5 LCK! She gained the Spell: Level 3 Madness Perk!
Spell: Level 3 Madness: Tier III Arithmancy. Inflicts the Madness ailnt on all foes with a Rank with a multiple of 3 within a ten ters radius, ignoring Evasion; other enemies are unaffected.
Wepwawet overwrote the now outdated Longstrider in most cases where the new Perk ca in excess, and overwrote Treasure Hunter for Alpine and Mistouffe since he could always teach them the Perk again after they tested out their new abilities. This only left the case of Sagesse.
“I can grant you the power to drive your enemies mad with numbers, but that will co at the cost of your ability to see in the dark, so of your mathematical skill, the range of your spells, or your slowing spell itself,” Wepwawet warned her.
“That is quite the arbitrary pick,” Sagesse noted. “Why would my nightsight and ability to count stand equal?”
Bla the System, I would love to stack bonuses on you all. “A mortal’s soul and body are a fragile equilibrium. Think of it as a delicate series of additions and subtractions to reach a perfectly round number.”
“I wonder about the arcane physics involved on your end, Your Divine Majesty.” Sagesse considered the proposal for a mont before making her choice. “My sight has already been declining due to age anyway, so I suppose I could part with so of it. A pair of magnifying glasses ought to compensate.”
Good call. Sagesse’s area-of-effect spells didn’t need her to see the targets to affect them, so improved eyesight didn’t particularly benefit her. Wepwawet switched her Owlsight I Perk for Spell: Level 3 Madness and called it a day.
Now that he had ranked-up all eligible Champions and would let them test out their new abilities, Wepwawet turned his attention elsewhere. He had found a good use for Prosse’s royal treasure and a potential source of new Champions for the war with the magmorians.
“Cynisca,” Wepwawet said upon telepathically contacting his Champion. He quickly located the giantess counting her coins in her war tent outside Prosse’s walls.
“What’s up, Boss?” Cynisca replied out loud, weighing her coins on a giant-sized scale with the appropriate weights as a counterbalance. She didn’t sound particularly surprised to hear him telepathically contact her without warning. “Or is it Ex-Boss now? Are we renewing our contract?”
“Well, I recall that your warband was only a small part of a much larger giant rcenary company, correct?”
“Yup, I was about to go back with my group and boast about our pay to Boss Jarlack once I finished weighing it up.” Wepwawet could sense her greed flaring up in anticipation. “Why?”
Wepwawet smirked ear to ear on his end of the line. “How much would it cost to hire the rest of you?”
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