translated by catren mjuna—also known as catren hannly, her grey sander na stripped from her by purism, her mjuna ancestors, and the mysteries of her family’s past and place in the aether’s intentions—shortly after her sixteenth birthday. — catren mjuna, age 16
this translation was stored within the de la rue archives following her eldest brother’s marriage to judith de la rue. shortly before catren moved to the northern reaches of baalphoria, it was removed from the archives at her request. it is unknown if the original translation still exists. this particular translation exists solely within olivier de la rue’s censor, pulled from his mory once his censor was installed. — olivier de la rue, age 16
“every ti i glance over these docunts again, i find myself eting the man i have spent my life living with anew.” — olivier de la rue, age 38
✮ ✮ ✮ day 2 ✮ ✮ ✮
[t12 v. t12:day two of the proceedings; initial check; stress levels acceptable; anchor has currently been refused by the sezr; this one will return from their release to haunt the sezr if this one suffers damage from the maw of the hetj’s soul]
[t12 v. sezr:calm, even; a gentle flow of water over the world]
[t12 v. hzc:the wildfire grows and ebbs; seems aware that day one was the easy part; wishes to shatter and break the hetj; does not seem to accept that such a future is unlikely and may not befall the hetj while the high eminence remains in the care of sezr]
[t12 v. hetj:the nothingness remains; deeper today? this one has not the knowledge to discern if deeper is better or worse; wholly unlike anything this one has felt before, and were this one not beholden to a vow of silence in regards to these proceedings, he would surely seek aid from those zibura to whom he owes his ability to harness his gifts]
[t12 v. t12:stress levels acceptable; acknowledge that stress levels are already rising; this one would continue keeping distance from hetj; seek anchor again? this one cannot shake the feeling the anchor will be necessary]
[CATREN:the first section of the transcript is simply a summary of the previous day’s events. interestingly, perhaps due to the content of whatever was discussed on the third day, this is the only day that includes such a summary, which effectively ans a significant amount of the first two days is simply settling the facts again and again. while this may seem rather unorthodox, having questioned my brother, who has recently graduated from law school, on the matter, he suggests that it may be due to a lack of nurous official, preliminary hearings. here in the nation we currently call ho, each case often goes through multiple stages, wherein the witnesses and the accused are questioned by lawyers, experts, and various law enforcent—with the hyrat clones often searching through their censors. the result, he says, is that through so many reconfirmations of the information, lies co out, and those questioned are given nurous opportunities to both rember details they may have forgotten—as little things may trigger their mory—and to decide they actually want to tell the truth on one matter or another.
‘little slips happen all the ti, especially when the person has to continue keeping their false story straight in their mind. it is not such a simple thing to keep everything in line when the motivations for actions are also a fabrication,’ he says. he also adds that ‘this is why, when lying, it is best to stick as close to the truth as possible, as your logic will be easier for your mind to follow when it is quite like what you actually chose to do.’ perhaps this is why he was always so much better at getting away with misdeeds when he was younger than i myself have ever been capable of.
it is undeniable that he is correct. there are several monts in the reiteration of information during this initial, summarizing section of day two that are inconsistent with what was said between the initial questioning, t12’s summary, and day one’s official summarization conversations. most of these instances are minor.
one such difference is in the ti span during which hetj and the doctors were kidnapping people within the tidal cities. where previously, she had been vague, but as seen below, she is more clear during the summarizing of the second day:]
sezr: and just over the span of three turns of sumr, yourself and the doctors were performing experints on those many people you swiped up from the tidal cities, as well as from the neighbouring, southern region of lukan, where as many as seventeen released souls have been tied back to your group, in part due to the extent of their injuries and the exposure of their muscles and viscera. the earliest of the vanishings date back to three turns of the moon before the last flooding sunshine of three sumrs past.
hetj: this eminent one had no part in that first releasing of which you speak.
[t12 v. hetj:discomfort? annoyance? a lack of desire to want to be associated with… ‘that ss’?]
sezr: apologies. this one had assud due to the similar nature of the—
hetj: your supre eminence assud wrongly. those first errors were perpetrated by one of the doctors before we combined our efforts together, seeking this day. do not presuppose that a similarity in thods handed down upon us from the great tradition in which we have found ourselves are anything but that. we are connected, and yet not. this eminent one did not displace her talents in the vein of those two.
[t12 v. sezr:amused; proud that his poking elicited a confirmation that the hetj was not party to those initial killings to which he refers; was sothing else special about those killings? in which… did he not state these souls are known to have been released? their bodies located, where those many missing from the tidal cities are considered lost to the sands? strange. this one was under the assumption that the sezr and those who call themselves amongst the greatest of our great and prosperous land were unsure until the many vanishings of the tidal cities and the confirmation of the hzc’s servants’ brutal demises that sothing so strange was happening. why was an inquiry not issued when those first bodies were happened upon?]
[CATREN:as can be seen, through adding in only a few extra details, the sezr was able to aggravate hetj’s sensibilities, giving the t12 and the docunt’s readers more information from both of their words. in my brother’s opinion, the man seems to have been quite skilled at his job, stating that a lawyer’s job is ‘to poke where the most delicate parts of the soul are to be found. through this dance of giving and taking, we can put the person we question—and occasionally even the opposing lawyer—into a state where they may share more clearly their true opinions on a situation. unfortunately, as the t12’s own observations show, the sezr may have given away more than he intended, although, as t12 stated in the beginning, at this point, the decision to keep all this from outsiders was already there. while i’m sure t12 felt so betrayal at being given inaccurate information before this, it is likely the man was holding back a lot, knowing he could use it at other points in the questioning.’
‘i suppose it depends a little on the responsibilities of t12—like, is he allowed to withhold information in his own summaries and readings of people? my guess is no, he’s not; there have been too many monts in his readings, in particular, where he is clearly stating information that might get him into trouble, yet he states it anyways. his position is interesting, though, and i’ve never heard of anything similar, although i can’t say i’m too familiar with the justice systems spread throughout the entire free colonies. still, it isn’t like he leaves a running comntary on his thoughts, but he does insert his readings of other people and himself when the opportunity presents itself—or perhaps when it seems relevant. the question is as follows: is this a personal quirk or an aspect of his job?’
it is likely due to the sezr’s poking that the hetj spends the rest of the day in a state of aggravation and tension, according to t12’s reading of her emotions. whether due to his own unease with the potential lack of information being given to him, or hetj’s more volatile emotions, t12 also spends the remainder of the day in clear unease, his readings including far more comntary on his thoughts than seems his habit.
there are nurous other cases throughout the day—both in the initial summary and the subsequent questioning, which delves into questions of what the hetj and the doctors did with the many souls still missing as well as where, exactly, they left those bodies and whether there were further plans for these bodies—where hetj appears to say more than she ans to.
of those examples, most are minor things that my brother agrees may be the fault of my own inexperience or an error introduced through however many copies this docunt is removed from the original, and have little bearing on the substance of the summary.
perhaps the only other example of note is the use of the student-doctor’s first na by hetj. due to the distance from this ti and culture, i can only assu this is sothing of an oddity, as this is the singular instance where the woman refers to anyone by na. looking through other docunts from a similar ti fra, it also seems uncommon that anyone refer to even their close friends so informally in such official proceedings. i have not taken the liberty of translating this precise interaction, as there was little of note surrounding this single instance of first na usage; however, within the normalcy of the interaction and t12’s readings as nothing out of the ordinary, as opposed to so of the more heated monts of the questioning, it seems unlikely a slip of hetj’s temper let the na fall from their lips. still, it remains a curious mont that perhaps reveals an error in her thinking, or—as is discussed below—a purposeful slip for so other reason related to the ga she claims to be a piece in.
of the other things discussed, both new and summarizing already established information, one of the most interesting things to co up repeatedly is the implication that the forces from beyond the aether have less of a hold on guiding the actions of those who serve it. at one point, the sezr and hetj argue over which of them is more beholden to the will of their guide:]
sezr: this one thinks you too arrogant in your desire to be a player in so great ga you barely understand. you, and all of your ilk, are simple pawns too enamoured with the evils to which you have allowed your heart to fill to realize you are nothing but broken puppets.
hetj: this eminent one is not the puppet nor the pawn. that honour belongs to you who follow the will of this creature who consus our lives and souls as a tasty al for her machinations. nay, your supre eminence is of the worse sort, for you no doubt know what lays beyond her edges, esteed as you are, and yet you continue falling prey to her edicts and demands. it is far better to follow blindly than to follow with your eyes averted from the truth.
sezr: you speak as though that which the aether holds back from our world is not an abomination, snapping up bits of the aether’s flesh to reach in and snatch our lives away.
hetj: your supre eminence speaks like soone who has never seen, only heard lies of my benefactor.
sezr: strange, i would think the sa thing of your eminent self.
[CATREN: similarly, at another point, which i had ntioned previously, the hzc made a comnt about how hetj and the doctors should regret their actions in the tidal cities, if only because it tipped her and other grey sands officials that sothing was amiss—or, at least more amiss than they had previously realized. while at this point there exists the implication that the higher ups have known for longer than expected that people were being experinted on, there has been no implication they were aware of the exact reason—the creation of an undying army, as alleged at the end of the initial questioning and touched upon later in day two, although as it occurs entirely between the sezr and hetj in the more antiquated dialect, i have been unable to determine more than a seemingly circular and uninformative discussion of exactly what the hetj and doctors, as well as those who ca before, did to their victims. it also seems that previous to the discovery of the hzc’s servants no one of import was aware such experints had reached a point where their victims could sustain life through torture that would leave any other human dead, implying those aforentioned released souls were not quite so far gone.
still, the ideas shared by hetj throughout their questioning, repeating through many monts of the lengthy transcripts, is the implication that whatever exists beyond the aether is sothing they have chosen to follow, their actions shifting with a gentle tug of ‘this is the correct path.’ hetj positions this as opposed to the aether, which ‘pulls its unwilling victims in, refusing to relinquish her grip on them even once death takes them. the benevolent aether forces her chosen down the road of her choosing, making promises she cannot keep and ruining lives,’ as well as that whatever exists beyond the aether is ‘never manipulative through its own efforts… only ever acting through the willing efforts of its servants.’
this is contrary to my own experience with the aether’s will, as is it contrary to my great uncle’s. while i claim no great connection to the aether, i do admit to occasionally feeling her pull. it has never felt as more than a gentle, guiding hand to my mind and soul—sothing urging down the path that will most benefit myself or others. while one could potential argue that, if i already hold the belief that the aether is a thing of kindness and good intention for the entirety of humanity—or, at least the majority of it—this is a removing of the free will of those who choose to listen to her guidance, for why should sothing known to be kind be questioned? one could also argue that the path laid out for one person may lead to their death, as the aether serves the greatest good, and what is a single life when compared to placing pieces in a war that will one day fall upon us? this is to completely ignore the belief that what i hear is the voice of the aether, and not that which exists beyond her bounds—inexpert as i am, could i not be following the latter through simple error? however, to , this all feels like a circular and unending argunt unlikely to find anything but frustration within those who interact with it. just as we who feel and follow the will of the aether can have nothing but faith in the purity of her intentions, so too can anyone following that which exists beyond her bounds have their best interests and intentions within their hearts.
just because the hetj and any other servants to this other existence do not feel that their hands are being forced does not an they are not. just as the aether could potentially manipulate a belief that she is only ever goodness, so too could her enemies manipulate a soul’s anger at the aether’s placent of the future good over a montary, present evil to gain itself yet more servants.
in addition, it appears to be a commonly held belief in several free colonies that the occasional aether events felt throughout the planet, often leaving scars both short- and longterm in their wake, are a manifestation of the aether’s will. while certainly, so of these are the result of human interaction with the aether, others seemingly have no cause but the aether herself. to myself, inexpert with the aether as i am, this appears a direct contradiction of the hetj’s assertion that the aether never acts upon our world through her own power.
with all these mumblings of those things i found most interesting and frustrating of this second day, i leave you with t12’s final readings for the day.]
[t12 v. sezr:calm, even; a gentle flow of water over the world; there are but the tiniest of ripples there now, barely perceptible had their being not been so solid before this mont; this one does not deny it may be due to his own shifting emotions this day, as he has been unable to find peace with the misinformation that has bestowed upon them]
[t12 v. hzc: inside themself; it is impossible for this one to tell if their fire of hatred has continued to fester within the closed space of their heart or if it was pressed out of existence under such oppression]
[t12 v. hetj:the darkness shifts and writhes; this one wonders, increasingly, if that black maw is the power from beyond the aether the hetj speaks of; if it is, it does not seem pleased with her]
[t12 v. t12: stress levels acceptable, but rising far faster than is standard for this one; what other information has this one been gifted that is nothing but a broken truth? request anchor yet more]
✮ ✮ ✮ day 3 ✮ ✮ ✮
[CATREN: missing in its entirety. again, it is almost impossible to tell an entire day of testimony is missing, only references in t12’s initializing transcription of the following day indicating that a day was missed. the fact that the two lines missing from day one and the missing day three have the sa feeling of being removable without consequence to the readability of the docunts leaves an odd feeling within . it is almost as though sothing was guiding the proceedings, knowing these things would need to be lost or redacted for whatever reason, yet that the docunts would need to be shared eventually with minimal changes made to the content. within the scope of the happenings, if one were to believe everything contained in this docunts actually occurred, i believe it becos a question of whether such manipulations were at the hands of the aether or whatever allegedly exists beyond its edges.
as, according to the testimony of day two, hetj considers the latter, outside forces to be less ‘manipulative through its own efforts… only ever acting through the willing efforts of their servants,’ it can perhaps be assud that she at least would consider such efforts as made on behalf of the aether? if so, would that not an she herself could still be manipulated by it, despite her allegiances? even if it were the forces from outside the aether manipulating, would it not an it is capable of touching those who do not consider it a friend? i honestly am unsure. it isn’t that i don’t believe in so part of the aether holding power over us, yet to believe what is held within these docunts is difficult. yet, it digs at my soul wondering what sorts of things could possibly have been contained in this single day, which required the entirety of it to be removed by soone. so piece of the giant puzzle that is this potential conflict that sneaks up upon us. hopefully, it is a piece in our favour rather than a piece towards our destruction.]
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