Very much not canon!
Cinnamon Nun
What in the world is happening? The mayors voice rang out across the town square.
His week had been... a little on the hectic side. That much was normal. It was the Roses Bell festival week, or at least, the week leading up to the one-day festival. That ant rchants and spectators and people from every smaller town in the region all coming to Rosenbell for a day or two.
Every year was a bit of a ss, with argunts sparking and a few people always getting too fond of their drink.
It was worth it, of course, but still.
And then this year a dragon had co to demand cattle and food and tribute. He thought his heart would stop right then and there. Theyd been saved by a trio of young explorers of all things, but he figured it was a near thing.
Then hed been told that there was an entire troupe of children making a ss of the town square just before construction of the stages was set to begin.
There were skinny preteens grouped up together to one side smoking, and toddlers running around while screaming. More of them were jumping up and down on... on sothing that the mayor suspected was a person.
To one side, a group of three girls were pinning an older teen against a wall, obviously making her very uncomfortable, and in the middle of it all, right where the mayor would expect anyone responsible for the tiny disaster to be, was a nun.
No, not a nun, he realized. The young woman was too young, and her habit was actually little more than a black and white towel draped over her head.
She was running in circles trying to catch a pair of boys who were chanting rather vulgar swears.
What is happening? he asked. When it beca obvious the no one would answer, the older gentleman took in a deep, deep breath and scread. What. Is. Happening!
The children froze up.
Smiling, the mayor congratulated himself on still having a good pair of lungs before, with a twitch of his mustache, he zeroed in on the one he suspected was responsible. You, he said pointing at the would-be nun. Please do explain.
It took only a mont more for him to recognize the won as the one that had roared (quite fearsoly) at the dragon the day prior.
Ah, she began. Um. See, I got a nun class?
Yes? he asked. That didnt explain anything.
And I figured Id help out at the orphanage, because thats what nuns do? And I could teach all these kids about the magic of friendship?
He looked around at the ss theyd made. You seem to have failed, he said.
The womans eyes teared up. They didnt want to listen. The lady at the orphanage said to use a ruler but, but I cant do that!
Didnt you have help? he asked. There are... twenty kids here!
The girl pointed to the side where her shy friend was hiding from the still suspicious looks of three girls, then she pointed to a pile of feathers that he suspected was once a harpy. They, they tried. But the children! Oh, it was awful!
The mayor sighed. At least this filled the quota for strange things happening on the Roses Bell festival week.
***
Buns of Steel
Awen didnt know why Broccoli had asked her to et her in the yard behind the inn. She also didnt know why Broccoli had asked Awen to find a stick and a cast-iron pan. Not knowing didnt matter though. Broccoli was the coolest, nicest, most kind person that Awen had ever t, and if she asked to et outside, then Awen would do that.
She would do a lot more than that too, but that kind of thinking was wrong and undignified and immoral, and it made her feel faint and all fuzzy inside.
It was probably for the best that she stepped outside where the air was cooler and much nicer to breath.
It only took a glance around to find Broccoli.
And then Awen stopped to stare at her heroine.
Broccoli was currently sitting on the ground, an expression sowhere between a pout and a scowl on her face.
The young woman got up and then, with a small hop, jumped onto a small picnic table set under the shade of a grand tree. She stood atop the table, bent halfway forwards, then tipped backwards.
Awa! Awen called out. Its not what she wanted to say. She wanted to shout a warning, but whenever she tried to say things in a hurry, things twisted up between her brain and her tongue and it was always that cursed pair of syllables that escaped.
Its why she couldnt shout a proper warning as Broccoli fell backwards and, munich to Awens surprise, landed on the ground rear-first with the dull thump of sothing hard impacting the dirt.
Hmm, Broccoli said.
Awen unfroze a mont later and rushed over, pan and stick still in hand. Are you okay? she asked.
Broccoli looked up to her, big green eyes filled with barely contained mirth. Awen! Youre here.
Y-yes, but are you okay? Awen asked.
Oh, Im fine, Broccoli said a mont before bouncing back onto her feet. Im testing out a new skill! Its a class skill.
For, um, your Buns of Steel class? Awen guessed. She worked hard to keep her eyes on Broccolis. It was hard. She could lt into those eyes so easily, and she was sure that soone as friendly and cool and wonderful as Broccoli wouldnt make the slightest fuss about it.
Broccoli nodded. Yeah. Ohh, and you got my stuff, neat. Do you have a few minutes to help ?
Awen nodded, afraid of the terrible things she might say if she could speak.
Neat! Then Broccoli leaned onto the table with one arm, bent over at a ninety degree angle with her legs shoulder width apart. Smack my bum please.
Awa.
This ti the awa was barely even noticed. It wasnt as if she was going to say anything intelligible anyway, her mind was far, far too busy elsewhere.
Broccoli turned around to stare at her, big guileless eyes still filled with mirth. Start with the stick, we can work out way up to the pan after.
Awa.
Oh, right. Broccoli reached back and flipped her skirt up. Is that better? I need to see just how-steel like these buns are, you know?
"Awa?!"
"Co on, Awen, spank ."
The only impact was Awens as she landed back-first onto the courtyards ground.
***
Cinnamon Burn
To Broccoli Bunch, the world was a place of wonder and joy.
The skies were filled with fluffy candy cane clouds and the songs of birds accompanied the joyful calls of the people she crossed.
Pretty houses with bright walls flew by as she skipped and hopped along, spreading cleanliness and joy with every step. And through it all, the World itself rewarded her.
Congratulations! You have spread the Flas of Joy to Rosenbell Villager, level 10.
To those horrified people looking onto the scene, there was no joy, not happy smiles, and nothing but terror, terror and the ever burning fires of unholy magics.
We need more water! a mage scread. He tried to pull more from the city well, but there was nothing but dust left within.
Are you thirsty, sir? a kind, happy voice asked.
He turned and beheld a smiling nightmare made flesh. No, no no no!
Here, let clean your mouth out!
His last cries were burned from his lungs.
The girl, satisfied that shed helped another new friend, skipped on ahead, firing little burst of cleansing magic with every skip. The whole city was such a bright and festive place. It even slled like roasting at!
She saw people gathering at a building down the road. Perhaps that was where the delicious slls were coming from?
With a hop, she began to skip on over. She was sure she could make friends and maybe grab a bite while she was at it!
***
Play Bunny
So? Amaryllis asked.
Shes watched Broccoli sprout a pair of ears, and even a small tuft of brown fur over her rear, all in the ti it took most people to yawn. It was... interesting magic, to say the least.
A base creature--and no matter what the humans said, she doubted they were the only origin of intelligent races--could evolve into sothing slightly new. If they bred true then there would be entire new communities that sprouted from nothing.
That usually required at an entire group have the sa class, or very similar ones. Like the Grenouille and their fabled Frog dungeon.
Shed never expected to see that kind of evolution with her own two eyes, but perhaps that was par for the course when dealing with the like of a Riftwalker... or a Broccoli Bunch.
I feel... warm, Broccoli said after shed finished tugging at her ears while looking in the mirror. Not bad warm, but warm-warm.
Awa, maybe, um, buns have higher body temperatures? Awen tried.
It was an astute observation. Amaryllis nodded along. Thats distinctly possible, she said. Ill have to find a few books to narrow things down. I just hope you didnt catch a fever at the sa ti as you changed races. It would be just like you to get sick like that. amaryllis doubted there were any good apothecaries in such a backwater. Shed need to run back into her rings range, order sothing from a proper, civilized place, and then run back to give it to Broccoli.
Nah, I think Im okay, Broccoli said. Healths at one hundred percent and all. She sighed, tugged at the nape of her neck, then with a shrug took off the top layer of her armour.
Hrm, well I suppose its nothing, Amaryllis said.
Yeah, Broccoli agreed as she took off her shirt.
Awen squeaked next to her and covered her eyes, but Amaryllis didnt care. Human... Bun physiology was only really interesting in a sort of scientific fashion.
So hot right now, Broccoli said as she stripped out of her skirt.
Awen started stuttering while Amaryllis worked hard to put two and two together. The result wasnt promising.
H-hey, Awen? Broccoli asked.
Yes? Awen said past the hands she had plastered over her face.
Wanna play... a ga?
Wh-what kind of ga? Awen asked.
Broccoli shifted on the spot. I dunno. Monopoly or sothing.
That was it. Amaryllis was going to learn a spell that allowed her to summon cold water.
***
Cinnamon Bum
I dunno, man, Broc B. said from her spot on the couch. Who, exactly, had brought the couch out into the town square was anyones guess. Just, like, chill out, you know?
Yeah, Rhawrexdee said. Yeah, we all need more chill.
The dragon dragon took a hit from Broccolis cinnamon bun bong and let it out as a plu of dancing smoke.
Yeah.
Off to one side, Amaryllis fud.
***
Cinnamon Bun Pun
Amaryllis glared at... at the girl whod sohow beco her best friend. So? she asked. Are you done being a complete moron?
Broccoli, who was currently tied to a chair with a piece of rope in her mouth, nodded rapidly.
Aw... should I, um, untie her? Awen asked.
Certainly, Amaryllis said.
The little chanic fumbled with the ropes for a bit, showing a surprising level of expertise with them until they ca loose and Broccoli was able to talk once more.
Oh, wow, thanks! Broccoli said. So far, Amaryllis though, so good. So, why did you tie up?
To stop you from talking, Amaryllis said.
Broccoli blinked. Talking? Did I make a tit of myself?
Amaryllis eyes narrowed.
Because being tied up like this is super unpheasent. I feel like a sitting duck. And its not like I did anything fowl enough to deserve getting tied!
Should, should I tied her back up? Awen asked.
Oh no, Broccoli said. As Awazing as you are with that rope, Awen, Id really knot have it around my mouth again. No! I haven't been knotty, I swear!
Amaryllis nodded to Awen and watched as Broccoli struggled against being tied all over again. She wondered... hoped there was a cure to the terrible affliction that had captured her friend.
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