Collide Gamer The grand Season One Q&A

The grand Season One Q&A

The grand Season One Q&A Part 1

John closed the patch seat and looked around. Rave and her dad were still arguing but there was sothing very weird about the room. He looked at the wall with the door, nothing weird. He looked at that wall to his right, a window but otherwise white and boring, nothing weird. He turned to look at the wall behind the bed Rave had been in, there was a picture there, nothing weird.

He turned to the fourth wall. It was missing. Instead he looked at a guy in a imperial age military style uniform of a black, white, red and gold colour sche. The big hat on is head was the most apparent feature. “What the fuck?” John asked. “NO!” I intervene and suddenly change the tempus to present, “What the FUN!”

With a poof the room disappears and is replaced with a giant casting couch.

“HELLO! Ladies and Gentlen!” I say to you, my audience, “today we will be doing the great Season One Q&A, where I ask my characters questions people on the Discord have given to . Now let’s first introduce the entire cast – in which I will magically implant the knowledge to answer these questions. Before I do that however, due to the sheer amount of characters and questions asked I think that a change of format is in order.”

Funatic: There, way better. Now to spawn in the characters…

I clap my hands and the entire cast of the first season, from the important characters like John, Rave and Aclysia, over dead ones like Thana and Victoria, over to so less important ones like Moira and Jimmie. Even the Horned Rat is here, there is a question for him after all.

Thana: Okay, what the fuck? I just died, you dumbass, and you bring back?!

Funatic: Don’t worry dear, I will sent you right on back to the afterlife, but first I need to as you all these questions.

John: This is so weird…I suddenly rember other versions of …

Rave: Uhhh, I too. So of those fuck even better than ya do, ya are really underutilizing these, ya slacker.

Aclysia:…I feel like I have less expression than usual.

The Horned Rat: That would be the formatting. This kind of speech isn’t good at depicting emotions as it needs to break the flow of the overall story.

Nathalia: Nerd.

Funatic: Stooooooooooooop talking. We have 40 questions to go through…let just open this RNG-Generator and then we can start. Yes, this was on purpose.

From: IWriteWithATalon (Just Talon in the future)

To Aclysia: What tal tastes best, and what human food does it taste most like, if you can compare.

Aclysia: I am sorry, but I lack the knowledge of human food to compare directly. I can only compare to mories that master has off food. My favourite tal would be the tal that made up the items dropped in the Ork dungeon. According to master’s mory the closest thing would be steak.

Funatic: I am going to further the question to Mono as well, because I can.

Mono: Feelium, the stuff that the Watches of Sadness are made out of. I like sour things.

From: Lalelilo69 (Just Lale later on)

Funatic: A short intermission before I read this question. Lalelilo might be knows to so of you as the currently missing author of another branch. While I have no information for you if/when he will return I want to take this opportunity to say: Y’are missed, mate. He left with a few questions tho so let’s read it.

To Undine: Why don’t you speak more often?

Undine: …

John: She sends the feeling of not wanting too because it is a hassle.

Undine: …

John: Also, sothing about thinking that all of this is pretty stupid.

Funatic: Whatevs, I do what I want.

From: TheScyle (or just Scyle in the future)

To Nathalia: we all know you love killing and fucking. But have you ever combined the two? Killing people while fucking! Or killing people by fucking them till they die from exhaustion! I am sure you could co up with sothing.

Nathalia: I do not like the act of killing, I revel in the act of destruction. That aside, yes I did kill people through fucking, thrice. The first ti was an accident, I did not believe that sobody would be that pathetic. Afterwards I happened to try it out just to see if I could, the third ti I did it because I could and the guy deserved it. He had been serving fish that wasn’t fresh anymore. Showed him a rcy. I did never kill people while fucking however, I think that would ruin the fun.

From: Lale

To Sylph: Why do you speak so often?

The tempest elental, who had her mouth sealed shut so that she wouldn’t blabber into other people’s questions, takes a deep breathe.

Sylph: Talking is just so fun, you know? I an, I can just tell you about my day, or John’s day, or how about Sally is a total bitch, or how Undine is so swing-swung-swang of mood. I have so many words that you should hear, like that one ti I found Gno in her room - yes we have rooms in Johnnies head – and she was going through and assortnt of panties which she could wear, she was completely naked too, when she saw she blushed so deeply she beca as red as Sally. Then she tried to swat out of her room but I dodged and she chased into the living room, stark naked and with strawberry panties and then she ran into Sally and they…

Funatic: Just going to put this here…

The seal is placed back in place, causing Sylph to protest with wild gestures. Nobody cares.

From: Talon

To Undine: How do you not pick up random junk like every sticky toy I've ever had?

Undine: … I am not sticky …

John: She really isn’t, unless she chose to be, but even then, it’s not that hard to get away.

From: Talon

To Thana: On a scale of 1-100% how many of your sexual partners have died in the past?

Thana: How the fuck would I know? I was essentially raped 50 tis, never saw any of the fuckers again. If they were sowhat powerful they might still be around, otherwise I’d guess that ti killed the suckers.

Ferikrona: I took most of them, no worries~

From: Lale

To Salamander: What’s the most amount of fire you’ve unleashed in one fight? How many enemies did you kill with it? Did you hurt any allies?

Salamander: That would probably go to the fight we had with grandma over there…

Nathalia: Consider yourself lucky that this is non-canon, child of Krieg.

Salamander: Burnt pretty much all of his mana in one go there, no kills or friendly fire though.

Everyone: …

Salamander: What? Oh, friendly fire! I am a genius.

From: Talon

To Thana: What is the least dangerous affectionate/sexual action I could perform on you?

Thana: Beats . I only ever got fucked as a potato in missionary so I guess I would be willing to experint. Don’t co fucking crying if I use to much teeth while sucking you though, I have no fucking clue what I would be doing.

From: Killer3333

To Moira: What are your thoughts on the rogue mage John aka “The Gar”?

Moira: His rapid growth in strength is worrying, as is the fact that he now leads Collide but overall the Golden Rose has bigger problems.

From: Talon

To John: Have you considered not thinking with your dick at least, like, 25% of the ti?

John: What? Am I that bad? I think all things considered I am making most decisions without my dick involved. Unless my dick has the potential to be involved…but even then I don’t think I am that bad.

From: Lale

To Gno: What does it look like John’s head? Do you have any way in it?

Gno: W-well, there are these Arcades with gas he played everywhere…and we have our own rooms…and there is the living room where can watch what John is doing on a flat-screen, we can also call him using our ntal connection. Aside from our own rooms we can’t change anything inside though.

Salamander: Also, there is the whole dungeon of mories and thoughts where she spends so of her ti looking at old sex scenes and masturbating.

Gno: Salamander!

Salamander: What? We all do it. Sylph at least thrice a day.

Gno: … Next question, please…

From: Kyonchi

To the Horned Rat: Why is Fun a dick?

Horned Rat: Because he gets off on teasing people that theory craft about his story.

Funatic: You know it! Think anyone will uncover your sche in ti?

Horned Rat: Non.

From: Scyle

To All Girls of Season One: Who is the sexiest out of all of you, without including yourself in the answer.

Rave: I would say Aclysia, I like taller girls.

Aclyisa: Mistress Rave. I might be biased due to my connection with master.

Victoria: You killed and now I have to answer this? Fine, Rave.

Nathalia: Mhm…I would say Salamander, I like having breasts to toy with.

Thana: .

Funatic: Ehm, Thana, that is against the que-

Thana: DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?! ! MOVE ON FUCKFACE BEFORE I REMBER THAT YOU WROTE JUST SO THAT I CAN BE IN PAIN FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE!

Funatic: …ssage received, ehem, Gno, if you would.

Gno: …

Funatic: Don’t tell you are too shy to say it?

Gno: …

Funatic: Welp, I will just use my magical spell of making you blurt out your thoughts.

Gno: I an, Sylph is really nice and cute but Undine has that cool aura, I can’t decide!

Salamander: Dammit, can’t even win big sis over, well my answer is the old lady Nathalia, aweso fuck, aweso tits, aweso hips, also I like tanned girls and the rest of you are horribly white or blue.

Sylph: I want to have sex with all of them! No favourites!

Undine: …Aclysia…

Mono: Sister Aclysia, she is so strong and cool and just the sexiest!

From: Kyonchi

To Nathalia: Ever play Godzilla in your dragon form?

Nathalia: I only learnt what that Godzilla is thanks to the author’s Q&A magic. The answer is no. That Godzilla thing seems like it would be a slightly worthy opponent though.

From: Scyle

To All: If you could only have sex in a fourso from now to the rest of all ti (or till you die) but the people in that fourso have to stay the sa, which three would you pick to be your fuck friends?

John: Jane, Aclysia and Nathalia.

Rave: John, Aclysia and Undine. I just feel like having a sli in the mix would be a good ti.

Aclysia: Master, Mistress Rave and Undine

Victoria: John, Rave and Thana. I would shoot all of them.

Nathalia: John, Romulus and Krieg. If I get fucked for all eternity it better be worth my while.

Thana: No fucking idea, John, probably, that Victoria girl there just because she looks like she has a massive hate boner and that’s kinda hot and sobody that can survive getting strangled all the ti. You know, so I can actually keep feeling.

Gno: John, Undine and Sylph.

Salamander: John, Nathalia and Aclysia.

Sylph: John, Sally and Rave.

Undine: John, Aclysia and Mono

Mono: John, Aclysia and Rave

From: Scyle

To thana: What is your opinion of people trying to cuddle you and giving you cake?

Thana: First, fuck you for spelling my na uncapitalized. IS THAT A SHORT JOKE, YOU CUNT?! Also cuddles can fuck right the fuck off, whole niceness shit is nothing for . Cake sounds good, I guess, never had it.

From: Scyle

To AllGirlsWhoHaveBoobsBiggerThanAnACup: If Funatics branch would suddenly end, but you had the chance to escape through a story-wormhole into another branch, where would you go? Follow up: Would your answer change if you were forced to stay in an area of 200 ters around that branchs John for ever, and if he dies, so do you? (and if it would change, what is your new answer and why of course)

Funatic: Let check my breast size chart really quickly to see who is eligible for this question.