--- Kat ---
While everyone was keen to get to work on solving the mystery of who tried to kill Jen, with the multiple unplanned delays there was no longer a big rush. Instead, they were asked to watch over the node for another night as Ramor and a small team planned out the best way to enter the place. Lin would probably be on call to provide them schematics but Kat wasn’t sure about that. They might ask Jen instead once she woke up.
It was already a bit late when they got out of the guard station so the streets were mostly clear. No need to hold back on the speed as they made their way over to the warehouse for the node. Guard presence was still quite high, but nothing compared to what it was the previous few days. Plus, while they were ant to defend the node from a hostile force...
If it was too large they were being heavily encouraged to just give it up. If the Diggers wanted to leave the city didn’t want to risk any lives on seriously stopping them. The bigger worry would be them taking control over the tunnel, but Weaver could prevent that from working out for them. Apparently there was sothing of a deal in place that had been hashed out.
There wasn’t all that much ti left in the night, and nothing ended up happening. Kat and Lily were positioned in the tunnel room, hidden amongst the webs. Weaver had even shared that she could wake Lily by strumming a few nearby threads if she noticed sothing Kat or Lily failed to spot. Hedera was outside overlooking the area. Though Kat wondered if that was best. For all that an archer was most useful in an elevated position the frequent use of illusion magic ant that having her in that position might be better...
But it didn’t matter in the end. Unless Hedera missed so distant observers there was no trouble at all. The rest of the night past without a hint of enemy action. From there everyone made it back to Steel’s house. Hedera looked about ready to collapse, so Kat spent so ti to quickly make up a last minute al.
Hedera wolfed it down swiftly and then headed to sleep, having showered while Kat was doing the preparations. Lily was asleep once again... and not having the best sleep. Uncomfortable mories were swirling within her mind and Kat decided it was best to stay up, ready to wake her girlfriend if sothing happened.
With the fact she was forced to stay up confird, Kat also decided to go a bit crazy with the cooking. As a thank you for letting them use the house, and as a way to sneak so more food to Weaver, Kat made a bunch of dishes that could be stored for so ti. She set up two roasts for cooking, managed to dry out a bunch of fruit into packets for snacking, did up multiple bundles of salad using what seed to be the hardier greens. Making it more of a trail mix thing then a proper salad.
It was a good way to keep her mind off everything. Occasionally, when Lily’s thoughts drifted into particularly dark areas Kat would pause what cooking prep she could and just snuggle with Lily for a bit. Gently petting her and making random noises. That always cald her girlfriend down. Apparently just knowing Kat was paying her abundant attention was enough to sooth so many of Lily’s fears.
*I don’t exactly love that aspect to our relationship. Lily can be so... so unsure of herself. She worries that I’ll leave her for accidentally, MAYBE killing soone when I’ve got blood on my own hands. We’re magically bound together on top of all that so leaving is nearly impossible. So why can’t she shake that feeling? I’ve never, not even for one mont thought it would be anything other than a bad idea to break up with Lily.
She’s my light. My best friend. She’s loved for years and I’ve never wanted to leave her company. I may not lust for her, but she ans so much to . I will happily protect her until the end of the universe. Perhaps longer than that considering demon lifespans and the rapid pace I seem to be gaining in Rank. Yet even with that... one of her main worries upon ’killing’ soone is that I’d leave her because of that?*
Kat sighed, but didn’t show too many outwards signs of distress lest Lily sohow pick up on it while still asleep. Kat had also been careful to keep her love for Lily front and centre while ntally going over her worries in order to not feel the need to close the link. Especially considering that it would cause Lily MORE worries while she was asleep.
*Am I at the point where I should just consider therapy? I an, the other ’obvious’ solution for this sort of problem, according to the few books I’ve read, is to jump straight to ’life affirming sex’ or sothing along those lines and I really don’t think either of us are ready for sothing like that. Certainly not using Lily’s ntal health as an excuse. It would definitely make things worse.
So therapy? Is that even a good idea? I can’t really take her to a therapist on Earth because what do you tell them? Even if revealing the existence of magic and other dinsions goes fine and they don’t simply think we’re crazy, which is a big IF. Can... can they even relate? At all? They’re simply human at the end of the day and likely have a very different view of death and what things are ’good’ to do.
They might focus on how it was a spur of the mont thing, or try to convince her to ’be better’ and never kill again. Which would be silly. There are so bad people out in the wider multiverse and I certainly don’t want Lily prioritising the lives of others over her own. So... what a demon therapist then? But once again, can they properly help? Would Lily even want that?
I’d THINK that they’d be ok with helping her... but I can’t forget that the main source of therapy is the Lust faction. A faction I probably need to officially join once this quest is over. I think I’m already past the deadline for joining without issues and I’m Rank 4. Best to join up before soone starts asking questions. Plus they were quite nice to .
I just don’t know that I can trust them with Lily’s ntal health. I suppose Nira might have so suggestions but I don’t think the issues are at all related to her transformation so... she probably can’t help. Though that’s perhaps rude. She’s Kamiko’s mother and likely willing to help out just because of that. The question is, will she really know soone who can help? And would Lily accept that help?
For all that we’ve destigmatized therapy in a big way over the last few years it’s still seen as so place you go when you’ve got sothing ’wrong’ with you. Which, fair enough. A lot of people think that’s also a bad way to think but I don’t call a plumber if the pipes are all fine. I don’t call an electrician when the lights in the house work. I call them when sothing is broken.
So... the question is, would broaching this topic with Lily make things worse? Would this sound like I’m trying to ’fix’ her rather then simply trying to make her feel better? Like... I don’t mind the fact that she’s upset. I mind the fact that she’s clearly in emotional pain. I’ve seen her, taphorical, scrape her knees and I want to offer a band-aid. Then again ’band-aid solutions’ are considering poor and temporary so perhaps that’s a bad angle to look at it from?
Maybe it’s best to talk to her parents about it? I don’t want to be seen as ’ganging up’ on her though. So I definitely wouldn’t want them around for the discussion. It would be too much like an intervention. Then again, maybe I’m blowing all of this out of proportion. She might recover from it all before the tournant is over... but well... she was so happy to be ’stronger’ than for a bit and have the chance to ’protect’ for once. If she’s serious about going through with that... then she’ll probably be doing serious damage to other competitors if we run into them.
Would that make things better or worse? At least with those guys they’ll co back if they have enough ti left on the bracelets. Blegh. Why couldn’t this be simpler? If I could just blast her problems away with my calming aura that would be wonderful. Sadly, it’s a very temporary effect. Perhaps if I had more training I could deal with it. Then again, not sure that’s sothing I’d want to train either?*
Kat gently placed Lily down. Her girlfriend had sunk back into a peaceful sleep and the food needed a bit of attending to. The sauce in particular problem needing stirring at this point. Kat gave gently a quick kiss before checking on it. Best to leave all the worries for another ti.
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