As a sword cultivator, yes, he wanted to fight back, and yes, he knew what damage he would potentially suffer from handing his sword over, though he had underestimated the extent, he knew he’d pay a price for it, but despite knowing all this, he still chose not to fight back.
The reason for that was he felt that maybe he would be able to recover, maybe he would be able to use whatever resources the sect had to heal the damage that would co from having his connection with his sword severed.
If he fought, his death was all but guaranteed, but concession left him a path to life and as long as he lived, there would always be a chance for him to regain all he had lost. He knew he was just rationalizing his cowardice at the ti, but he went with it. He wasn’t ready to die, not when he was just inches away from taking one of the greatest strides in his life by reaching the palace realm.
His plans ended up flawed, whatever resources he expected the sect to have to help him heal his injuries, were not there. A bulk of it had been used to stabilize the sect and help its resurgence after the grievous losses they had suffered when they were besieged.
Back then, they didn’t just lose the vice sect master, but countless prominent figures and promising disciples within the sect had been lost in the fight. It took considerable resources and a whole lot of luck for the sect to not fragnt and disappear like most.
Jiang Huang who at the ti had no other thought on his mind other than improving his personal strength, obsessively so, didn’t have the ti to care or notice anything else outside of how he desperately needed to improve his strength now that his master and the other palace realm experts were not around to shelter them.
Other than stabilizing the sect, which ate a huge chunk of the resources, what was left, part of it was what Jiang Huang was given, which was what helped him reach the quasi-palace realm, and the other bit was shared by the rest, including the current sect master.
So by the ti he went back to the sect, there was not much left to help him with the injuries he had sustained. The signs had been there, with the elders continuously leaving the sect to explore ruins and mysterious realms, or searching for precious resources, the nurous tis he had been asked to join them but he couldn’t be bothered to.
Only when he was truly desperate, did he finally realize the sect had been running on bare bones for a while and instead of sympathizing with the state it was in, he threw his anger at the sect and blad them for being wasteful with the resources as he said the resources should have been spared for the elite and the higher-ups of the sect, while the rest to be left to fend for themselves. Forgetting he had once been one of those disciples.
Jiang Huang couldn’t help but sigh at his deplorable behavior for the past few hundred years. The injury only brought out the ugliness that had been brewing in him for quite so ti.
That ugliness was what cost him, not only the respect of his fellow sect mates but also where he was today. Lin Duyi and Yao De might have been the instrunts, but that ugliness had been the catalyst.
Back then, when Lin Duyi and Yao De accused him of being a spy, he could have shown his plaque that showed his identity as the supre elder of the Azure Sword Rain Sect or he could have even inford them of the identity of the sect master who had already reached the second stage of the palace realm by then, whose status maybe could have diffused the attention.
After all, the Azure Sword Rain Sect was still a sect with a long history having produced a domain expert within that history. But his pride couldn’t let him. He couldn’t let the sect or the sect master by association know that he was being robbed and he needed their help.
Right now as he was thinking things through, clearly, he couldn’t help but smile at how silly and preposterous his thinking had been.
As far as robbing went, a quasi-palace realm expert being robbed by two palace ream experts wasn’t the most shaful way to get robbed and him leaving from said robbery with his life intact even if he was forced to thank one of the said robbers, it was still a matter worthy of praise.
But his pride and ego didn’t let him see things that way, and the ego in question wasn’t from his pride as a sword cultivator, the fact that he handed out his sword showed he didn’t have a bone-deep pride as one.
No, the ego that held him back was he didn’t want to ask for help from his sect. He had already created a scene when the sect was celebrating their current sect master reaching the palace realm. The whole thing turned ugly, and also at so point, after the calamity, as his strength rapidly grew, sohow he had ended up envisioning himself above the sect.
To him, asking for help from the sect, was effectively him lowering himself to the sect’s level, like a toddler hiding behind his mother to seek protection from unfamiliar people. Kind of like what Lin Duyi was doing now.
He had forgotten that it was the sect’s teat that had been nurturing him all this ti. That ego and sense of self-importance ruined him long before he lost his sword.
Now look at where he was.
When the Order approached him for his testimony on the case, the first thought that crossed his mind was finally he had a chance at revenge. Over the years, the pain made it unbearable for him to cultivate or even ditate, but he did manage to cultivate sothing, a forbidden art he had spent his entire fortune acquiring.
The pain made it difficult for him to concentrate long enough to even cultivate a low tier red grade art, but the thirst for vengeance gave him enough clarity to master that forbidden art which would have given him enough firepower to self-detonate and grievously injure even a third-stage palace realm expert.
He never thought he’d get to use it, and just assud he would sooner die before he had the chance to, but the Order gave him the perfect chance for it.
He had decided he would challenge Lin Duyi to a life-and-death duel, and execute the art the first chance he got. As per the rules of the duel supervised by the Order he knew all manner of external items were forbidden there, so Lin Duyi’s wealth of artifacts and other asures would be useless there. Jiang Huang had a real chance of grievously injuring him as a result of it, which was sothing he was all too eager to do.
But now, with so clarity eroding away the bitterness and fear that had consud him, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the right thing to do.
His soul may have been injured, and he was constantly in agonizing pain, but right now, for so reason even if the pain was there, it wasn’t as severe as it had been. He had enough clarity to see past the fog of it and through it he started entertaining other thoughts, and it started from the mont he started speaking about his sect.
Despite how he looked, probably like an emaciated corpse with one foot in the grave or the injuries he suffered, he still had about 400 years left to live.
Right now as he reminisced and evaluated things, he couldn’t help but feel like throwing his life away here would be waste. It would be satisfying, but it would be short-lived. If he died, he would not have the guts to face his master and the rest in the yellow river, not after how he had acted.
He still had not repaid the favor for that glass of water, or the millions of other things he owed the sect after, and 400 years was at least enough to pay back for a bit of it.
"Maybe that’s for the best. At least I got to vent a bit of my frustration on him. That should be enough.." thought Jiang Huang as he sighed wistfully. A look of regret flashed in his eyes as his gaze fell on Lin Duyi and Yao De as he imagined how satisfying it would have been repaying them in kind, especially Lin Duyi who was secretly sending him death glares.
"What a pity.." he murmured as he turned toward Yang Qing, to tell the court of his decision.
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