Have you ever had an experience like this? During a certain sleep, you had a dream.
In the dream, you beca a "character" completely different from reality. You wouldn't doubt the rationality and authenticity of your own existence. The "character's" experiences beca your own; the "character's" joys and sorrows beca your own. It's an incredibly wonderful experience, as if you had completely beco soone else. It's not until the mont you open your eyes and wake up that you suddenly realize, "Ah—so that was a dream."
Well, bringing this up isn't to discuss psychological phenona like "dreams are the reflection of the subconscious," It's simply because Itsuka Shido was currently in this exact state.
The setting was a classroom in an orphanage. The character was a little girl, less than five years old, hiding in a corner building blocks by herself.
"Ah, this block is exactly the shape I need. I'll take it."
A cheeky boy walked over and, without a word, pulled out a block from the girl's built stack.
"..."
Staring blankly at the running boy, and then looking at the scattered blocks in front of her, the little girl spaced out for a mont before picking up the remaining blocks and starting to build again.
Perhaps you might wonder why the little girl didn't feel angry or wronged by the boy's actions? Actually, the reason is very simple. Just now, the little girl had just begun to have her earliest mories, and under the coordination of those mories, she recognized the existence of "ego."
In the little girl's eyes, it was just an unimportant pile of blocks that collapsed because a boy suddenly snatched one away, that's all.
Perhaps there was a tiny bit of resentnt in her heart, but the little girl, who had just acquired a "ego", clearly didn't have the dexterity to distinguish this emotion. She could only dumbly rebuild the blocks.
Of course, this incident was just a trivial interlude in the little girl's life.
Returning to her bed, the little girl closed her eyes, opened them again—and suddenly, a year had passed just like that.
In reality, a flow of ti so bizarre it would be terrifying, but in a dream, it felt perfectly natural.
In a year's ti, the little girl had grown slightly. Although in the eyes of others she remained as blank as ever, in her heart, she had already ford a hazy understanding of the world around her.
One day, the little girl suddenly had a question.
"What is family?"
"Well, people who can love you, people who are worth your love. I, and the other children in the orphanage, are your best family."
The adult caring for the little girl answered her like this.
But regarding this answer, the little girl felt a subtle sense of incongruity.
Every so often, a few children around her would leave inexplicably, and then a few new children would suddenly appear in the orphanage. Even the adult in front of her had only arrived at the orphanage a few days ago after the previous adult suddenly left. The girl felt that in a few months, this adult in front of her would also leave her side.
(Is this what family is like?)
This question arose in the little girl's heart. But she didn't choose to pursue the answer. For her, who never had a family from the beginning, this wasn't a strong desire, but rely a trivial curiosity.
"Are you lonely being alone?"
"I don't know."
The little girl answered herself honestly.
Returning to her bed, closing her eyes, and opening them again—how long had passed this ti? Three years? No, maybe four years.
The girl's life suddenly changed.
Soone wanted to adopt her. Before the girl could understand the aning of these words, she left the orphanage led by the staff and arrived at a completely unfamiliar house.
In the living room of the house sat a middle-aged couple and a girl slightly older than her.
Perhaps due to nervousness, the girl uneasily hid behind the staff mber, only poking her head out and timidly observing the three of them.
Then, looking at the girl, the couple revealed harmonious smiles.
"Hello. From today onwards, we are family."
"...Family?"
The girl couldn't help but freeze.
The impact these words brought to the girl exceeded even her own imagination.
Like a black-and-white picture being filled with vibrant colors, or like a snowy field scattered with colorful flowers by the spring breeze.
It's no exaggeration to say that the girl's world changed at this exact mont.
"That's right, I'm your big sister. Those two are our mom and dad. From today onwards, we're sisters."
Unlike the blank girl, the older girl, who introduced herself as a big sister upon eting, gave her a very bright and lively smile.
"..., Ah, wa, ahhhhh—"
Unable to hold back, tears flowed from her eyes.
Only then did the girl realize that she wasn't used to being alone; she had just been waiting all along.
For people who would co to love her.
For people she could love.
For a family that could accept her and belong only to her.
———————————————
A ceiling.
This was naturally the first thing Itsuka Shido, lying on a hospital bed, saw after opening his eyes.
"Ah... so it was a dream."
Shido couldn't help but utter a sigh of realization.
It made him feel nostalgic, yet vague; a bit sad, yet sowhat warm. Although he had already forgotten the specific details, a wonderful sensation like a lingering echo remained in Shido's heart.
"You're finally awake, Shido?"
Hearing a familiar voice, Shido subconsciously turned his head. He saw Ryougi Yutsuki sitting beside his bed, her legs crossed, resting her chin on her hand, looking at him with a sleepy, grumpy face.
"Yutsuki..."
Sitting up from the bed, Shido turned his head and looked around.
"Is this... inside the Fraxinus?"
"Yeah. Do you rember what happened to you?"
Yutsuki asked calmly. To this, Shido pressed his forehead and answered with a frown.
"I rember... Mukuro and I were attacked by DEM... fell into the atmosphere... and then, I used Michael to open doors..."
As Shido spoke, his voice grew hesitant. He only rembered that after opening doors no less than hundreds of tis, he finally managed to pass through the atmosphere with Mukuro safely, and then his mory cut off right there.
"Yutsuki, where is Mukuro now? Is she okay?"
"Well, who knows? She wasn't by your side when we found you. But if it was DEM, they would have probably taken you along too. Chances are she woke up before you and left."
"I see, well, as long as she's okay, it's fine."
Shido couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
"Instead of Mukuro, shouldn't you care more about your own condition, Shido?"
Saying this, Yutsuki crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Shido crossly.
"Do you know that you really almost died this ti? Did you think you'd be fine just using Michael to pass through the atmosphere? Falling from that height, honestly, if it were a normal person, they'd be pronounced dead imdiately. It's lucky that Raphael and Zadkiel kept working after you passed out, otherwise, nine lives wouldn't be enough for you. And you're lucky your landing spot was a forest outside a ranch in Hokkaido. It's a good thing it was within Japan. If it were sowhere like the Pacific Ocean, you really would have just drowned, and we wouldn't even be able to recover your body, you know?"
"B-But... that was a forced situation..."
Looking at Yutsuki's aggressive posture, Shido still wanted to explain, but noticing the two dark circles under her eyes, he was instantly left speechless.
After he fell into danger, Yutsuki definitely searched frantically for him everywhere, and stayed guarding him here without rest before he regained consciousness.
"Do you have anything you want to say?"
Yutsuki stared at Shido and asked.
"For making you worry... I'm very sorry."
"...Fine." Hearing Shido's words, Yutsuki's tone softened slightly. "Seeing as you knew to keep your promise, I won't hold it against you too much this ti. Make sure you thank Tohka and the others later, you hear? After seeing you get caught in the explosion, everyone was very anxious. They stayed up all night searching for you in the forest for a long ti."
"Mhm... I will."
Hearing Shido's answer, Yutsuki nodded, then took out a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped the corner of Shido's eye.
"What are you doing, Yutsuki?"
Shido asked puzzledly. To this, Yutsuki answered as a matter of course.
"Wiping your tears."
"Eh?"
Hearing this, Shido froze for a mont, then hurriedly touched his face, only to realize that his cheeks were already wet with two streams of tears.
(Could it be the influence of that dream?)
"Because it was the first ti I saw you cry, it was a bit novel so I didn't point it out. But seeing you looking completely unaware of it was a bit strange. Are you okay?"
Yutsuki asked with slight confusion. Realizing he had been talking to Yutsuki with tears streaming down his face the whole ti, Shido instantly felt a wave of embarrassnt. He hurriedly wiped them dry with his sleeve and frantically explained.
"N-No, it's nothing. This is just left over from yawning."
"Yawning... That excuse is sothing at most Tohka and Yoshino would believe."
Can a yawn make you burst into tears? Muttering speechlessly, Yutsuki clearly didn't believe Shido's words at all.
"Whatever, I'm not planning to press you for answers either. Just tell when you want to. Well then, I'll go call Tohka and the others over. There's an apple I peeled by the bed, eat it if you want."
Saying this, Yutsuki pushed herself up from her knees, turned around, and walked towards the door.
"Yutsuki..."
"What?"
Yutsuki stopped and turned to look at Shido.
Feeling Yutsuki's gaze, Shido felt sowhat nervous for so reason. He hesitated for a mont before speaking.
"Um... thank you. For being willing to co and help when I was conquering Mukuro."
"Ah, about that..."
It would have been fine if he didn't bring it up, but the mont he did, Yutsuki couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"No need to thank . That was a decision forced by the circumstances. If possible, I really couldn't be bothered to care about Mukuro's situation. Actually, I still think not unlocking Mukuro's heart was the right choice. At the very least, you definitely wouldn't have ended up lying in a hospital bed like this."
"Haha..."
Hearing Yutsuki's sarcasm and realizing he stepped on a landmine, Shido could only reply with an awkward, bitter smile.
With a "clack", the door to the sickroom was slid shut. Listening to Yutsuki's fading footsteps, Shido glanced at the apple cut into the shape of a rabbit beside him, then looked up at the white ceiling, his face filled with bitterness.
"Co to think of it, Yutsuki and I still haven't made up..."
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