Date a Live:This is not the date I wanted! Chapter 569 569: Accepting the Past

"That's right. That's exactly what's going on!"

"…I see."

Receiving Yutsuki's firm answer, Shido let out a breath of relief. But very soon, a new worry rose in his heart.

"But… if that's true, does that an I have to beco 'Takamiya Shinji'?"

"Hmm… from the conclusion, probably yes. After all, accepting the mories while refusing to acknowledge them is as awful as stealing a girl's first night and refusing to take responsibility."

"That's a harsh comparison."

Shido could not help smiling wryly and shaking his head. But he did not deny her point.

"But… I'm still scared…"

As he spoke, Shido lowered his head in sha. Although his voice was still relatively calm, his tightly clasped fingers revealed his agitation.

"A little… no… very scared. In a dream almost indistinguishable from reality, whether it's actions, speech, or thoughts—everything about moves on its own as if controlled by sothing. Every ti I wake up, the mories and habits from the dream take root inside my body…"

His voice gradually grew hoarse and trembling.

As long as he did not resist and simply acknowledged "Takamiya Shinji", the problem would be solved. That was easy to say, but actually doing it was another matter.

In truth, repeatedly diving into Takamiya Shinji's dreams had not given Shido so called patience. On the contrary, only fear had continued sprouting inside his heart.

It was like walking through darkness with his eyes closed. The farther he walked, the more afraid he beca, and the more he wanted to open his eyes and quickly confirm his position. He was afraid that, without realizing it, he had already walked into the middle of a road, and in the next second would be smashed to pieces by a car.

That was why he had kept emphasizing that he was Itsuka Shido.

"If… I truly accept Takamiya Shinji's mories, when his mories completely occupy this body, what will happen to …? Will I disappear just like that?"

Yutsuki quietly listened to the worries Shido had hidden deep in his heart. After thinking for a long ti, she finally spoke.

"If you accept Takamiya Shinji's mories, does that an you can no longer be Itsuka Shido?"

Hearing Yutsuki's words, Shido froze.

"What… do you an?"

"Sorry, Shido. What I said earlier, that I once had the sa situation as you… I take it back."

Yutsuki continued.

"Unlike you, what I accepted back then were mories from the future. But the future is uncertain, full of countless branches. What you are facing now are mories of the past. That is a fixed one way path. It is precisely because of the accumulation known as 'the past' that the 'present' exists."

"I think it is precisely because Takamiya Shinji's past existed that the current Itsuka Shido is sitting beside ."

"…Do you have any basis for that?"

Shido could not help asking.

"Shido, you rember, right? I once told you that I have mories from a previous life."

Yutsuki did not rush to answer. Instead, as if guiding him, she brought up another topic.

"Yeah. I rember."

"Then do you know what my na used to be?"

"Uh… I think it was… Guan…"

"Guan ng. That was my na before."

"Guan… ng…"

Clumsily imitating Yutsuki's pronunciation, Shido could not help becoming curious about this na that was clearly not Japanese.

"What does that na… an?"

"Its aning isn't really anything worth ntioning. According to my late father, the na seems to an sothing like, 'Give up on those unrealistic ideals and dreams, and face reality honestly.'"

"What kind of na is that? How could soone give their own child a na like that?"

Compared to Shido, who seed sowhat indignant, Yutsuki herself showed a very calm smile.

"Well, I don't really mind. My dad had his own hardships too. He treated well enough. And in his will, he also said he regretted giving that na on impulse back then. He said he wouldn't mind even if I changed it."

Hearing that, Shido, whose head had heated up for a mont, finally rembered that the father Yutsuki spoke of was already gone from that world.

"…Sorry."

"It's fine. You were just worrying about , right? Besides, sothing from that long ago—I've already co to terms with it."

Yutsuki smiled and shrugged.

"…"

Shido was montarily at a loss for words. A long ti ago, he had once glimpsed Yutsuki's past in a dream. Although the specific details had beco sowhat blurry, he knew that it was precisely because she had been alone in her previous life that the current Yutsuki valued the existence of family so much.

"What's wrong? You suddenly stopped talking."

"No… I just couldn't think of what to say for a mont."

"Idiot."

Yutsuki could not help flicking Shido's forehead with her finger.

"Ow."

"I didn't bring this up to sell misery or lick each other's wounds with you. You suddenly being so polite to feels gross instead."

Yutsuki said speechlessly.

"…Haha, true."

Shido smiled wryly while covering his forehead.

"Then, isn't there anything you want to ask?"

Yutsuki got straight to the point.

After a mont of silence, Shido asked

"…To you, Yutsuki, what are the na 'Guan ng' and the mories of that identity?"

"A part of what makes up my past. Nothing more."

Yutsuki answered readily.

"Even though I am now 'Ryougi Yutsuki', that doesn't an I abandoned the na 'Guan ng.' Even though I found a new place to belong, that doesn't an I forgot my family from the past. It is precisely because 'Guan ng' existed that the current exists."

"Because 'Guan ng' existed, the current Yutsuki exists… huh?"

Repeating Yutsuki's words, Shido seed to understand sothing in a daze.

"In the sa way, although you yourself never noticed it, the past known as Takamiya Shinji must also be an indispensable part of you as Itsuka Shido."

"A part of …"

Chewing over Yutsuki's words, Shido fell silent.

Just as Yutsuki had said, the more one compressed a spring, the stronger its rebound would beco. Wanting to obtain information from those mories while also denying them was simply an absurd dream.

Moreover, imagine this: if one day he lost his mories, began another life under another na, and then after rembering everything, desperately denied it—

It would not matter much if he denied himself. But how would Yutsuki, Tohka, and the others who had once spent ti with him feel if they saw him like that?

That would surely be an unbearably laughable scene.

(Not treating it as an enemy that harms , but accepting it as a part of myself…?)

"I understand… I'll try to believe that."

At last, Shido made his decision.

"Have you made up your mind?"

Yutsuki asked.

"Yeah. Or rather, I had clearly decided from the start, from the mont I used it, that I wouldn't back down. Yet I still hesitated so many tis. It feels kind of embarrassing."

"Well, at least you're self-aware about being fussy."

"Ugh… I can't argue with that."

Shido smiled wryly.

Suddenly, a powerful drowsiness surged into his mind, and the world before his eyes gradually blurred.

(I'm going into that dream again.)

Shido instinctively understood this. But strangely enough, he did not feel afraid, as though he were attending a play by invitation.

—Shido?

(It's fine, Yutsuki… I'm just going to witness the end of the dream. But this ti, it might take a while.)

—I see. It's fine. I'll wait for you.

(Thank you, Yutsuki… Thank you for giving the courage to accept the past.)

The world began turning uncontrollably. Driven by the intense sleepiness, Shido closed his eyes.

"…Good luck, Shido."

"Ha~ I'm free~"

At night, in the Spirit apartnt, accompanied by the sound of flushing water, Honjou Nia walked out of the restroom with a refreshed expression.

"Ah, so this really is the Spirit apartnt. Fully furnished, complete rooms, and the location is nice too. Maybe I should just move in here—hm?"

Just as Nia was preparing to return to bed, she accidentally saw soone standing at the entrance of the Itsuka house across the way.

"That's… Tohka-chan? What is she doing there this late at night?"

With so curiosity and confusion, Nia put on her coat and left the apartnt.

"Yahoo~ Tohka-chan."

Seeing Nia walking toward her, Tohka looked sowhat surprised.

"Nia? You're not sleeping this late?"

"That's my line, isn't it? What are you doing here so late? Brr~ it's cold—"

Although it was already February, the cold night wind still made Nia shiver.

"Don't tell you're waiting for soone?"

"Mm."

Tohka nodded and looked up at the sky.

"Shido is still on the airship. I want to wait for him to co back."

"Are you a waiting wife or the Hachiko statue…"

Nia could not help retorting.

"Umu? What are those?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm praising you, that's all." Nia shrugged and reminded her, "But it's already so late. Maybe Shido will just spend the night on the airship? After all, Imouto-chan seems to be working overnight there. Even if he cos back ho, he'll be alone."

"Ugh… that is possible."

"Right? Hurry back and rest. If you stand here too long, you'll catch a cold."

"But…?"

Although she understood what Nia ant, Tohka still seed worried and hesitated without moving.

"—Umu?! It's Shido's scent! He's back!"

Tohka suddenly shouted excitedly.

"She really is Hachiko…"

After muttering that retort, Nia looked in the direction Tohka pointed. Sure enough, a figure was slowly walking over from the street.

"Shido! You're back… are… you?"

For so reason, Tohka's originally joyful voice suddenly lowered halfway. Nia was puzzled by this, but soon understood why.

"Oh? Nia and Tohka? You two aren't asleep yet?"

Seeing them, Yutsuki asked with so surprise.

"Yo, Biri-chan. Boy there is…"

Nia looked at Shido, who was sleeping soundly on Yutsuki's back, and asked in confusion.

"Ah, this guy fell asleep directly on the bench in the lounge. So I brought him back along the way."

"Yutsuki… is Shido all right now?"

Looking at the sleeping Shido, Tohka asked worriedly.

"Mm, he should be fine. But because he's been having nightmares these past few days, this ti he probably won't wake up until tomorrow afternoon. Shido also said he's grateful to you."

"I see… That's good."

After hearing Yutsuki's answer, Tohka first let out a relieved breath, then inexplicably beca a little downcast.

(Huh? This atmosphere…)

Looking at Tohka, then at Yutsuki, Nia felt as though she had noticed sothing unusual.

"Right, Tohka. You take Shido back to his room and let him rest, okay? After all, leaving Shido alone at ho isn't exactly safe."

"Eh? N-No. I only ca to check on Shido. I'll go back and sleep right away. Yutsuki, you send Shido back."

"…Uh, all right then."

And so, Nia and Tohka watched Yutsuki go ho, then prepared to return to the Spirit apartnt themselves.

(Although a lone man and woman sharing a room always feels like it'll lead to so not safe for kids doujin scenario, since it's Biri-chan, probably nothing will happen.)

While thinking that, Nia glanced at Tohka. At that mont, Tohka looked like a puppy neglected by its owner, her head drooping listlessly.

"Cough, cough—Tohka-chan, are you worrying about sothing? Want to tell onee-san about it?"

Nia coughed lightly and asked, putting on the air of a kind older sister.

"Nia…"

Tohka looked at Nia in surprise.

Perhaps she really did have sothing on her mind, because after hesitating only briefly, Tohka began to speak.

"This morning, I saw that Shido looked very pale, like he had a nightmare, so I asked what happened. But Shido didn't answer . I was worried, so I asked Yutsuki to check on him…"

"Oh-ho! I understand."

Nia's lips curled upward, and she spoke as if victory were already in her grasp.

"In other words, Boy didn't tell you the troubles in his heart, yet he confessed them to Biri-chan very easily. That difference in treatnt made you feel jeal—"

"—Hm?"

Tohka tilted her head in confusion.

"Je—generally speaking, impossible. You're troubled over where exactly you're lacking, and how you can improve so you can help Boy, right?"

"Umu! Amazing, Nia! How did you know?! Do you have superpowers?"

"Hahaha—this is the experience of a working adult."

Tohka's overly pure gaze made Nia feel a little dazzled.

"Please tell . I want to help Shido like Yutsuki does."

"Mm—! I understand."

Seeing Tohka's overly serious expression, Nia could not help feeling a little guilty.

"But… in my view, you don't need to worry so much. The reason Boy didn't tell you his worries isn't because he doesn't trust you or thinks you're unreliable. It's probably because he was afraid the enemy would use Beelzebub to learn the contents of your conversation, so he deliberately hid it. Boy must have grasped important information that can affect the future battle situation, so he was being cautious and didn't tell you."

"Mm… is that so?"

"That's exactly it! The only reason he could confide in Biri-chan is simply because Biri-chan's is immune to the Demon King's ability."

Nia declared decisively. Honestly, after spinning that whole analysis, even Nia herself almost believed it.

"Mm…"

However, although Tohka did not doubt Nia's explanation, she still looked gloomy. It seed an answer that attributed everything to a difference in constitution could not fully convince her.

"Mm, if it's not too important…" After hesitating for a while, Nia said, "It's probably that Biri-chan truly wants to save Kurumi-chan."

"Eh? I'm willing to help Kurumi too."

"Your understanding is probably a little different from what I an, Tohka."

Nia gently shook her head and explained.

"You are willing to help Kurumi because you want to assist Boy. But Biri-chan is helping Kurumi of her own will. If Boy gave up halfway, would you still be willing to risk everything to save her?"

"I…"

Tohka was montarily speechless. Clearly, she had never thought about that question.

"Well, since I was also saved by Biri-chan once, I can see it clearly. Although she always thinks she's very rational and won't put others above herself, at heart, she's just as much of a softie as Boy."

With a smile and a sigh, Nia rubbed Tohka's head.

"Of course, in my eyes, Tohka-chan, you're also a super good kid. It's just that Boy might feel that we were all dragged into this by his wish, so unconsciously, he holds back a little with us."

"…I see."

After answering quietly, Tohka showed a thoughtful expression.

(Can I also save soone, like Shido and Yutsuki do…?)