Walking was peaceful. I rember my best days, wandering through the Ducato with Monica holding my hand. I would explore the little corners, searching for so surprise, so adventure. Those were happy days for , monts when I felt loved in so way.
Despite being just a maid, she was my best friend, the only one I had to talk to, have fun with, to live a little outside the small bubble that was my house, that cold house that always scared at night.
I rember the garden, the colorful flowers that Monica tended to with so much care. I would always help her water the small sprouts she planted. We both sat in the shade of the big fig tree, she braiding my hair while telling stories of distant kingdoms, brave knights, and evil demons.
The gentle breeze touching my face, her laughter when I asked if there was ever a knight who had saved a princess like .
"Of course, my little princess," she always said, her eyes shining with a sweet look that seed to brighten even the cloudiest days I lived in that cold house. "You just need to wait for the right knight, a strong and fearless man who will make you sigh with passion even with the smallest smiles."
I could feel the warmth of her embrace, even now, in the depths of this darkness where I find myself. The sll of the garden flowers mixed with the damp earth and the faint perfu Monica wore, all so vivid as if it were yesterday.
There were also those rainy days when we stayed in her small room at the back of the house, hidden under old, warm blankets, reading her fairy tale books while the rain drumd on the roof.
She always let choose the story, and I always picked the most fantastic ones, the ones with dragons and wizards, and happy endings with princesses getting married.
But it wasn't just laughter and sunny afternoons. I rember the tis Monica hugged tightly when I woke up from nightmares, trembling and crying, my eyes frightened, searching for so security. She whispered soft words, assuring that nothing bad would happen while she was there. And I believed it because Monica was my shield against the darkness that seed to haunt that house.
She was more than just a re maid; she was my mother, much more than the one who claid to be my progenitor, who barely spent ti with , as if I weren't even her daughter.
It wasn't just her; my father also pretended to smile at . It took a while to realize, but I was quite a bother to him. The day I realized this, I ran to the garden wearing a long dress, not luxurious, rather ragged. I was so alone, so sad that I ended up stumbling and falling... I got a nasty scrape on my knee after fleeing from ho.
The pain was really intense, but I still rember Monica running after , coming towards with a sad look, her eyes almost crying.
"You'll be okay, little one. Don't do this anymore, don't run away from ," she said while applying a cold compress to my swollen knee. "I will always be here to take care of you, so if you need anything, I will be everything you need."
Those words stayed with for a long ti; they were like a hug to my lonely soul.
There were so many good and bad mories that sotis my mind got lost between what was real and what was fiction, especially in the saddest monts when Monica wasn't around. The empty and cold corridors of the house, where the silence was disturbing and the feeling of loneliness crushed . The sound of creaking doors, the whispers that seed to co from the walls at night.
I felt so small and vulnerable...
I don't rember when it happened, when everything changed. Monica had fallen ill, her gentle and loving energy had completely disappeared, and my world shattered when she didn't wake up. I held her cold hand, feeling a sadness that seed endless.
I don't know where I am... I don't know why all this is coming now, but I know that after being beaten in so many ways, I fell here... into my personal abyss...
I only feel my body floating in the pure abyssal darkness. Where am I? Who brought here? What happened? I don't know... I only know that my heart aches, aches in so many ways...
I hope I can return... I think I need to thank my dear maid... For being the best mother I could have in this world...
Now, even in my comatose state, I feel like I'm holding her hand again. I feel her affection, her protection, as if she's here with , guiding through this darkness.
My mind began to delve into the depths... I saw a large tree, its sturdy branches and dense leaves creating a tranquil refuge. Sothing drew towards it, a sense of curiosity and restlessness, as if there was sothing there I needed to see.
As I approached, I began to hear a soft, almost imperceptible sound at first, but it soon beca clearer. It was the sound of soone crying. My heart squeezed, a strange feeling coursed through my body, and I walked faster towards the tree.
And there he was. A young man, sitting at the base of the tree, his back hunched and his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He seed lost in his sorrow, completely oblivious to the world around him. His hair fell over his face, hiding his eyes, but I could sense the depth of his pain even without seeing them.
Of course... you... It's always you in the end, my thoughts always lead to you at so point. I loved you for so long... I loved you from the ti I knew you as a child, I loved you as we grew up together, I loved you so much that when that happened... I felt betrayed.
But what hurts the most is not having believed in you, not having gone after you while Monica stopped from doing so, in ti, the stories they told fit, they left even more sad with you... But you never did anything to , it was only them who kept away from you...
After the day I t you, my entire life was dedicated to smiling with you, you were my spark of happiness that pulled through the bad days... and when I knew I would marry you, I was so happy...
Every day I would take a small petal from Monica's hidden garden and ask, "He loves ?" "He loves not?" It was so satisfying when it landed on "He loves "... I was a foolish girl, but... Why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt so much to know that even after all that, I chose to believe others? Why... why did you still accept back?
If you had refused, none of this could have happened and you would have been happy...
But no... even after all the pain I caused, you accepted . And that, more than anything, destroys . Because I know I'm not worthy of that forgiveness, of that unconditional love you offer . Knowing that I can still be a part of your life, even after everything, is a weight that seems to crush my heart.
I wish I could go back in ti, change my choices, believe in you as I should have from the beginning. But I can't. I'm trapped in this cycle of pain and guilt, and every mory I have of you is a knife twisting deeper into my chest.
"You're so silly." His voice ca into my mind, after so long without hearing it I heard it again, loud and clear, like a direct speech. "If sothing ever happens to one day, I will try my best to co back to you." His childlike voice, yes that sa voice I saw when I ran through the Vorah family mansion
"You know, I feel like sothing could happen to , I'm from a very large family and it could be dangerous" He said while sitting on a wooden bench, swinging his legs back and forth. "If one day this happens to you, never forget. I will find you and save you just like a fairy tale prince!" Those words comforted , it seed that since I was little he already knew what would happen... "Beatrice!
I'm going to be the strongest man in the world, and I'm never going to let you get hurt! We're going to have a huge family and I'm going to protect everyone!"
Those words struck my heart, they were simple and innocent, but they broke in every possible way, as if my heart were hit by arrows of missile.
Tears began to fall on my face, sliding silently as I saw Little Strax's face running in front of ...
Why? Why, knowing how much he loved , how much he believed in us, did I let fear and doubt push away? Why, instead of holding onto that promise as my shield against the darkness, did I let it disintegrate under the weight of the lies they told ?
I feel so bad, but... Why do I love this man more and more? Why does he keep making love him more!
"Because you're mine." I heard it as a deep whisper that entered my ears and made my whole body tremble...
"I said you're mine, so you, Beatrice Von Steinhardt, are only mine, forever."
Those words deeply entered my soul, as my crying continued to fall.
That was it... It didn't matter anymore... He had already decreed... even though I was being tortured, I still continued to be his, even though I was sorry he didn't care and continued to nurture his love...
**I felt my body crumbling, and then, my consciousness began to return... and I ca face to face with that man, sleeping in the chair while he was all beat up, with his clothes full of blood, but peacefully...
User Comments
0 comments from readers