Jinny crumbled. She breathed out shakily, then back in, her eyes glassy and moist. For a mont, the decorative robes and bulbous wand faded away, and all I saw was the scared person beneath it. Only, unlike , she wasnt scared of the system killing her or putting her in a situation she couldnt handle. Jinny was scared of sothing else. She looked to the side and ran the sleeve of her robe across her face.
Talia pressed her head into Jinnys side and glared at as if Id done sothing unforgivable.
Nick doesnt even know youre sick, does he?
Jinny shook her head fervently. No. And he doesnt need to.
Ordinarily, Id agree. That it was her business and no one elses. But Nick had grown this attached to her in less than a week. Maybe that was unfairmaybe their friendship had been deeper than Id realized previouslybut it was still a massive structural flaw in a team that had seed otherwise solid.
Jinny slapped her face suddenly with both hands, the impact loud enough to startle Talia. Stop it. Stop crying, you idiot.
I considered her situation. That hadnt been able to pick up on it, alongside the volatility of this reaction. She must have buried it deep. Repressed it, potentially. I get wanting to be strong. Ive had to be. For as long as I can rember. You get better at it. But theres always a breaking point, where you cant hold the despair back anymore. And once that levee breaks, you really need to talk to soone.
And who does the stoic, enigmatic Matt talk to? Jinny asked. Her question was a barbed challenge. She was understandably irritated, probably expecting to dodge the question.
Therapists, mostly. I answered point-blank.
When we could afford them.
Oh, Jinny said. She looked simultaneously nervous and crestfallen, as if shed wanted to talk about this for so ti, but the words wouldnt co out.
Finally, she spoke again. I went to the doctor to talk over options, because of sothing unrelated. The most straightforward possibility was a surgery. I was really torn because it wasnt an easy choice. If I didnt do it, my entire life would have been torn apart. And if I did it, the result was sothing that wasnt so easy to live with. There was all this pressure from both sides, from my parentsgod, even from the doctors themselves. They act all indifferent, you know? But they always have an opinion. And they push it on you, only instead they fra it as whats best for you. All throughout the process, the one thing I was hanging onto was, at least I had a choice. That it was my decision, and no one elses. A dark bitterness seeped into her voice.
Until it wasnt, I prompted.
Jinny smiled, still staring at the ground. It was like cringing at the price of taking your car in for maintenance, only to find out both the engine and transmission are shot. When the clinic was doing my initial labs, they found sothing irregular. A murmur in my heart. A few referrals later, my biopsy results ca back. Giant Cell Myocarditis. The bogeyman of all autoimmune diseases.
How bad?
Four, five months? If we did nothing. Even then, that elective surgery, that choice was made for . Too much strain on my body otherwise. After that, they put on the transplant list, but even before, I was looking at waiting up to a year. But there was a chance Id get lucky.
I considered my experience. My smoke inhalation and broken ribs that had miraculously repaired themselves. And theres no chance that being a User fixed any of this? The way it fixed Nicks leg?
Jinnys smile grew brittle. I had hoped. But no. I still have the sa heart palpitations, along with a handful of other symptoms they told to watch out for. And given everything thats going on? Jinny waved her hand, indicating the dungeon and the world beyond. Safe to assu the transplant isnt going to happen.
Dont be so sure.
There were still plenty of doctors, plenty of surgeons. And if the transposition event and subsequent happenings were anywhere near as bad as I suspected they would be, there would be plenty of newly emancipated hearts to go around.
It was a perilously dark thought, too dark to share.
So, when you stepped off the platform I trailed off.
When he found in those tunnels? Nick led out of the dark in more ways than one. He was so happy, so confident. He had so many hopes for the future. I guess it inspired . Jinny gave a bittersweet look. Maybe its nave, but I always wanted to do sothing big with my life. I spent the month before the teor grieving that it would never happen. That the most notable thing Id ever achieve was dying alone in a hospital room. When I saw my title, and what it was giving , at first, I felt cheatedand then I realized it was a chance. An opportunity to make a difference. Using that chance to save soone with a lot more ti than well, it felt like as good an opportunity as any.
Jinny didnt seem to fully understand how valuable she was. In the short term, she was a powerhouse, sure, but in the long term? Shed be unstoppable. I pushed myself up to my feet carefully, flexing my muscles and tilting my body to see if there was any stiffness left. Once satisfied, I looked down at her.
Okay. Im not going to tell Nick
Thank you! Her worried expression was replaced with relief.
I stuck out a finger at her. You need to. Sooner rather than later. Well try to find a solution, but he gets easily attached. If the worst happens, and he doesnt know its coming, itll destroy him.
Jinny tilted her head. I doubt its that serious. I like Nick, but from what I know of his dating habits he probably sees us as a fling more than anything else. Which is fine.
I shook my head. After Nick busted his leg, that might have been true. He went through sothing of a desperate phase, where he was endeavoring to prove he could still charm the pants off anything with two legs and a pair of X chromosos. But he wasnt the sa person now. And he seed far more invested in Jinny than in anyone Id ever seen him with.
Maybe, but you were his friend first. That matters to him more than anything else.
Jinny grinned at smugly. You said we.
What?
Nick didnt think youd stick around for long. Figured hed help you out with the User status, wed stick together for a while, and youd probably go on your way. But you just said that wed try to find a solution to the problem. Youre thinking long term.
More annoying than her smugness was the fact that Id done it almost entirely subconsciously. Even now that I was actively thinking about it, it didnt seem so bad. Nick, with his flashy, royal class would steal the spotlight, providing with plenty of cover to operate undetected. And maybejust maybethere was a part of that was tired of doing things on my own.
Possibly, I admitted. But lets just get through this trial in one piece first, yeah? I held out my hand for Jinny to grasp and helped her to her feet. I went back and forth on whether to say anything more. To warn her not to throw her life away, simply because she valued others more than herself. In the end, I remained silent.
Back in the first combat room, when the four of us were together Jinny started.
I froze.
I saw nothing, Jinny said. Im just happy Sae is okay.
A safe rule of thumb is that two people can keep a secret, as long as one of them is dead. Normally, this would break that rule. Id planned to bla the incident on but if shed decided to bury it, there was no reason to over-explain.
Talia heeled at my side, looking between the two of us.
You are playing a dangerous ga. She ntally whispered.
I thought you liked Jinny.
That is why it is dangerous.
I ignored Talia, and after ensuring that everyone was ready, pushed the door open. It led to a circular elevator that dropped straight down as soon as wed all set foot on it.
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