Adelle had shaped Bologue’s beliefs and values, becoming an essential part of his personality. Yet, just as in his hallucinations, as Adelle had said, she was rely a passerby; she had her own life, her own values, and she couldn’t occupy all of Bologue, nor could Bologue allow himself to be entirely influenced by Adelle.
Bologue needed to move out.
"I can’t continue being trapped under Adelle’s influence... I believe she wouldn’t want to continue being influenced by her, she lived a beautiful life, and the greatest tribute I can give her is to pass on her values and live a beautiful life in my own way."
The confused mind gradually beca firm, and Bologue slowly found a way to escape the predicant.
All along, what trapped Bologue was rely himself.
Bologue then wrote down a passage, sothing he had copied from a book.
"The important thing is not how to avoid setbacks and the regrets of pain, but how to face them positively, to persist in your choices, and to live firmly."
Bologue would live on.
"What should I do next?"
Bologue wrote down this sentence again and circled it repeatedly for emphasis.
He leaned back in his chair, and after understanding his predicant, Bologue felt an inexplicable lightness. Adelle had freed Bologue, and Bologue also freed Adelle. It was ti to truly begin his life.
Only at this mont did Bologue feel he was truly released from prison.
Underneath a cold and indifferent mind, nurous indescribable emotions erged. Bologue guessed that these emotions could be what is called love.
Another figure gradually filled Bologue’s mind. He rembered his deliberate rejection of Aimou during his struggles. At that ti, how must she have felt?
Did his hesitation make Aimou feel anxious and confused? Did he inadvertently make Aimou misunderstand sothing, thus causing her to fall into so sort of dilemma?
Thinking of this, Bologue suddenly felt nervous, as if he had awakened, realizing many issues in the relationship after coming out of his predicant.
The physical reactions beca clearer, and Bologue felt so pressure on his chest, his heartbeat accelerating.
Bologue had heard Aimou ntion this kind of reaction; she often teased him by checking his physiological state.
She would say, this is the sympathetic nervous system at work, causing the heart to beat faster, resulting in increased heart rate, and accelerated blood circulation and oxygen transport.
Similarly, the stimulation of the sympathetic nerves also causes vasoconstriction and increased blood pressure.
Bologue knew this; this reaction is similar to the body’s response under urgent threat—but the emotional stimulus can also trigger this reaction.
Very strange,
When a person’s emotions are touched, the physiological instinct is actually to feel threatened.
Co to think of it, it isn’t just a threat; it is like another form of the Death God, wielding the Great Scythe to take over your mind, and from then on, you completely belong to her.
You willingly let her ta you.
Bologue suddenly stood up; he could feel all the hormones frantically secreting as a flood of questions and anxieties surged into his mind. He had never experienced such a thing and didn’t know how to handle and deal with such emotions.
He even felt sowhat timid and bashful.
Bologue recalled many things, both good and bad. Bologue once felt that Aimou was very similar to him, so he reached out to help her. He was also hurt by Aimou but listened to her confessions. They helped each other and saved each other as well...
Like the cycle of chaos and order, the human mind can plot the most evil sches yet also display tender and foolish sincerity.
"Damn it."
Bologue cursed softly, crumpling up a piece of scrap paper and throwing it into the trash can.
Sitting heavily on the bed, Bologue held his head in his hands, and after a period of silence, he suddenly stood up, walked out of the bedroom, changed his clothes, carefully tidied his appearance in the mirror, and then went out the door in the middle of the night.
Bologue hated thinking; he preferred action.
He stepped onto the street, the cold, clear air filling his lungs, awakening him sowhat. He felt his steps were sowhat light and unsteady, like he couldn’t quite feel them, striding forward boldly.
At this ti, the city had quieted down. Under the glow of the street lamps, the streets were empty. It seed like Bologue was the only person in the entire world.
Halfway through, Bologue only then realized, coming to his senses from the surging emotions, and cursed himself for foolishly walking out like this, wondering how long it would take to get there.
Bologue turned back, took out the Key of the Crooked Path, and pushed open the door to the Undying Club. Inside, the club was quiet, the ground littered, and Serey was sprawled on the floor, reeking of alcohol.
Cautiously stepping over the ss, Bologue proceeded, halfway through realizing he should bring a gift. Yet, looking around the Undying Club, there was nothing truly valuable to be found.
Damn it, Bologue thought his mind was getting foggy from the alcoholic stink.
Walking out of the Undying Club, the rest of the way was much more familiar. Bologue quickened his pace, wondering what he should say when he sees Aimou.
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