1028 Joe Walker
"I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 5 months in. We had kept our marriage secret because we didn't want anyone to know. Even at that ti, early marriages were frowned upon. Days passed by and I didn't know what to do.
It was a matter of ti before my mum and dad found out about it, so I went to Joe and told him the truth. He was bewildered to know that. He said it should be impossible. To confirm his doubts, we went for a checkup, that too in a city 500 kiloters away from ours because everyone there knew us and our parents and we didn't want anyone to know about it.
Once it was confird that I was indeed 5 and half months in, Joe told that he had sothing to say. Knowing Joe, I thought he would say sothing to reassure and take full responsibility, but instead, what he told left broken," Rose sighed with a sad look on her face.
Lucy was familiar with that look of Rose. She had seen her sad many tis, almost multiple tis a day. Lucy was aware that Rose wasn't happy with her life, even when she was rich and had so much money.
Curious, Lucy couldn't help but ask, "What did he say?"
"So I… also have sothing to say. I… looked into it and apparently our marriage doesn't count because there was no witness," Rose stated with the exact facial expressions Joe had when he told her that.
"I was like… what the fuck are you talking about? You were the one who told everything was fine and okay. And now you are telling that we had committed… a major sin… in a cathedral. And I was pregnant!"
"..."
"How was I supposed to take it? What was I supposed to do? How was I going to tell my parents about the horrible act we had committed? And what was going to happen to my baby?!" Rose looked Lucy into eyes and uttered, "Do you understand why I regretted it so much?"
After giving it a quick thought, Lucy squinted her eyes and replied, "Why are you making it like it was all dad's fault? You are as responsible for everything as he was."
"But I was the one who was pregnant! You have no idea how society worked back then."
"Oh co, 'back then'," Lucy quoted with her fingers. "Don't act like you are talking about the 12th century. It was only 20 years ago."
"I raised you in a friendly environnt so you wouldn't know how bad, strict parenting can get."
Lucy clicked her tongue and asked for Rose to continue her story.
"I asked Joe what he was going to do with the baby, and he told that we shouldn't keep it a secret and tell our parents. And we did… and the hell broke loose on that night. The entire town had gathered, and it had beco a big issue.
People made it worse since our parents were priests. Our parents were shad in public and they couldn't show their faces to anyone. My parents couldn't take it and kicked out of the house. But… they couldn't bear watching in that state, so they took back in.
However, they had locked in the room. They didn't allow to leave the house or et anyone. Months passed by and I gave birth to a boy. My parents told that they would set the boy in the orphanage and marry off sowhere far away, where soone would be willing to accept .
But I was against it. I told them that doing that was a sin and they shouldn't punish an infant who was innocent. Days passed by and a few weeks later, my parents inford that I was getting married to Joe 3 days later.
Of course, I was surprised. My father then told that instead of finding a partner for sowhere far away, he talked to Joe's father and convinced him to marry Joe to .
No one asked for my consent. But… I was okay with it. Joe was a good guy and… what worse could happen? I thought.
Only a few people were there for my wedding. Apparently, Joe's father wanted it to be discreet, so it wouldn't sully his na more than it already had.
We said the verses, and Joe and I got married for real. The guests greeted us and congratulated us, although none of them actually seed to congratulate us based on the expression.
The sun dipped, and the night ca. I was breastfeeding Paul in the hallway when Joe's mother ca and took him away from . Oh! By the way, I didn't get to na my baby. Father just ca to one day and handed a birth certificate. It was then I found out that they had nad him Paul— After…you know… who."
"You have got to be kidding ." Lucy facepald herself and muttered, "So he has a story behind the origin of his na. I thought it was just the most random yet common na given to him."
"Anyway, Joe's mum instructed to go and wait for Joe inside the room. I had almost forgotten that it was our wedding night," Rose snorted.
"So I did as I was told and waited for Joe in the room. Minutes passed by and he didn't co. I assud he must be doing so formality, which I wasn't aware of. So I patiently waited, but… he never ca, even after two hours.
I eventually dozed off and when I opened my eyes, Joe was sitting in the chair with his head in his hands. I imdiately felt bad. I an… I had fallen asleep on the wedding night and left Joe like that…."
After a pause, she added, "Even though it wasn't intentional."
"..."
"I called him out, and he ca and sat next to . I apologized to him and he said it wasn't my fault. We talked for a while to ease the mood, although I was nervous from inside. I was waiting for Joe to make a move, but… he seed more nervous than .
In fact.. He seed scared. Naturally, I assud he was feeling guilty about everything that had happened. So I took the initiative and kissed him. I kissed him again… a few tis… but much to my surprise; he pushed back.
I asked him why he would do that. I asked him if he didn't want to marry or if he was forced to marry by his father, but he shook his head. I demanded an answer and then he told that… he couldn't get hard.
I didn't understand what he ant by that, so he explained to that he couldn't feel anything from the kisses. He couldn't have sexual thoughts or get an erection. He also inford that he was kicked out from the training and banned from becoming a priest.
My first thought was that he was lying. How could sothing like that happen? But then I rembered it was Joe. Joe would never lie and always be honest.
Joe told that he was punished because of the sin we committed. He said that he was asking for forgiveness every day and night, and he hoped that he would be forgiven soon.
So I waited and waited, but nothing changed. I was growing desperate. I was at an age where I could grow sexually frustrated. Mind you, I was 17 at that ti and Joe was 22. I always wondered why only Joe was punished and not when we were equally responsible? As ti passed, I stopped expecting anything and accepted my fate. Then… one day, I t… well, your father. When I told him about my situation, he said that Joe had developed ED because of the trauma. The trauma being… everything that happened to us."
Lucy, who listened to Rose's story attentively, raised her brows and asked, "So how does your story justify your cheating on dad?"
"It doesn't." Rose shook her head. "I never said my adultery was justified. I know and accept that what I did was unacceptable. Even so, I don't regret it."
"..."
Rose smiled wryly at Lucy and uttered, "You were born out of that act."
"Ugh… am I supposed to be happy that you cheated on dad?"
"Do you value your existence? I do, which is why I am glad I t that boy." Rose shrugged.
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