"Gildarts, you really are staying true to yourself, huh~"
"This time's request is different from when you asked me to cast magic on an entire town. You've taken your perversion to the next level, aiming for the entire nation now? So, what's next? Planning to go after the whole Ishgar continent?"
Ultear narrowed her eyes, glancing Gildarts up and down as she spoke.
"Haha, well…"
"If I could go after the whole continent, I wouldn't be opposed to it…"
Gildarts scratched his cheek with a finger and burst out laughing.
"Seilah."
By now, Ultear knew there was no point wasting more words. She turned to Seilah beside her and calmly called her name.
"Understood."
Seilah's eyes glinted with cold light. Though her time in Fairy Tail hadn't taught her much, she had learned one important truth, trash must be eliminated.
Whoosh
With a powerful gust, Ultear and Seilah attacked in unison…
BOOM!
Ultear's refined body and Seilah's demon-hardened fist cut through the air and smashed into Gildarts.
Their soft-looking fists landed squarely on his face.
"AAAGH!"
With a miserable cry, Gildarts was sent flying, crashing into the bar and reducing it to rubble.
"…Huh?!"
Ultear and Seilah both froze. With their power, they shouldn't have been able to send Gildarts flying like that.
"…"
Over at the demolished bar, Gildarts cracked one eye open while keeping the other shut. He glanced at Seilah and Ultear, then quickly shut both eyes tight, pretending to be knocked out.
From experience, Gildarts knew, if he didn't let Seilah and Ultear punch him unconscious, he'd be stuck facing Irene and Selene next…
And between those two monstrous dragons and getting KO'd by Seilah, he'd much rather take the punch.
"Once I wake up, it'll all be over…"
With a faint grin, Gildarts lay still in the rubble, eyes tightly shut. Based on past events, if he just waited it out, everything would blow over by the time he got up…
SMACK!
Just as Gildarts was peacefully pretending to sleep, he suddenly felt something heavy press painfully into his face, like a foot grinding down on his cheek.
"My, my. No one's claiming this trash, right? Then I'll just take him with me, bring him to my world in Elentear to use as a punching bag. A plaything to kill time~"
Selene stomped on Gildarts' face with her wooden sandal, pressing hard as she glanced back at the others in Fairy Tail and asked casually.
"Be our guest~"
The guild members, for once united in spirit, all bowed slightly toward Selene, then turned solemn gazes toward Gildarts like he was a hero making the ultimate sacrifice.
After all, no one was going to stop her from taking out the trash…
In the eyes of Fairy Tail, Gildarts had less worth than junk, utterly worthless.
"Then I'll be taking him~"
Seeing no objections, Selene smiled faintly as she looked down at the man under her heel. Her little 'monsters' back in Elentear could use a new toy, someone durable enough to last a while. And she had a feeling Gildarts would be perfect.
"Wait! You're really going to send me off just like that?! Aren't we Fairy Tail rades? We're family!"
Suddenly wide awake, Gildarts shouted at the guild members.
"Die, scumbag."
The guild crowd smirked coldly and made throat-slitting gestures.
"No, wait! Miss Selene! You really are stunning, and I'd love to travel with you. Being with such a beautiful woman in Elentear sounds like a dream e true!"
"B-but… I actually have something very important I need to take care of! So I'm afraid I can't go with you to another world…"
Realizing the joke had gone too far, Gildarts quickly got up. He now knew that if he kept playing dead, he might never make it back to Earth Land.
Looking at Selene with a teary, pleading expression, he tried to talk his way out.
Unfortunately, the moment he stood, his gaze met the fierce eyes of the Fairy Tail women, just returned from their bath.
"Weren't you unconscious, Gildarts? Stay that way."
Ultear and Seilah narrowed their eyes, unimpressed.
"Heh… Looks like I'm in trouble now~"
Feeling the pressure of all the women's glares, Gildarts gave an awkward laugh. He realized he'd been baited, Selene had merely tested to see if he was really unconscious.
Too bad for him, he'd fallen for it.
"Hmph… Ha ha…"
With a scoff and a smirk, Gildarts took off his beloved cloak and tossed it aside like he was getting serious.
"Just… don't hit the face!"
Then, with the most serious look he could muster, he stared at the curvy beauties before him, while uttering the most cowardly line possible.
"Enough talk"
"Take Over Magic, Satan Soul!"
"Requip, Heaven's Wheel Armor!"
"Arc of Time!"
"I hereby mand, Everyone in the guild, beat this pervert to a pulp!"
Before Gildarts could even finish, dozens of colorful, dazzling magic circles erupted in front of him.
And the next second,
BOOM!!!
Another peaceful day shattered in Fairy Tail.
Whoosh
In the town of Magnolia, an elderly man with white hair sat by the river fishing. Feeling the tremors beneath him, he calmly puffed his pipe.
Outsiders might think it was an earthquake, but the locals all knew, it was just Fairy Tail's kids being Fairy Tail.
Nothing new. Everyone was used to it…
A while later…
As the furious female mages deactivated their magic circles,
All that remained on the ground was a charred, half-dead perverted old man clinging to life.
"Idiot."
Cana sat at the bar, cheeks slightly flushed. She took a swig of her beer while looking down at Gildarts' scorched body.
"Hey! Don't forget to take out the trash."
At the bar, Guild Master Makarov sighed as he glanced at the unconscious Gildarts. He shook his head and addressed the women calmly.
"Understood, Master Makarov~"
Mira Jane and the others nodded, assuring him they'd handle Gildarts' disposal properly. Makarov could rest easy.
Time flew by, and in the blink of an eye, three months passed.
On this particular day, Evan was sitting in the guild, sipping juice.
BZZT BZZT
Suddenly, a munication crystal inside his backpack began to glow and vibrate like a phone.
"Hm?"
Evan blinked, then pulled out the glowing crystal.
"…This is…"
Seeing the sender, a look of disbelief flickered in his eyes.
He hadn't expected this person to be the one contacting him.
Buzz~
Evan furrowed his brows and thought for a moment, then accepted the call.
"Yo, Evan! How's life been treating ya lately~?"
A sleazy voice came through the crystal.
"Oh, Wisdom? I've been doing alright."
"You sound lively as ever. Let me guess, another research breakthrough?"
Evan gazed at the face nearly identical to his own reflected in the crystal and replied casually.
"Ahahaha… Of course you get me~"
"You're my alternate self in Earth Land after all!"
Yes, the one who contacted Evan was none other than his alternate-world self, Evan Wisdom.
Wearing protective goggles, Wisdom grinned like a fool from inside his lab.
"So, what is it you wanted?"
Evan leaned back in his chair, yawning lazily as he addressed the other him.
"Evan, remember our deal?"
"The one about holding a showdown between the Fairy Tails of our two worlds?"
"I think it's time… we finally fulfill that promise!"
"Evan, let's host a grand petition between our two universes!!"
After hearing Wisdom's words, Evan raised an eyebrow and scanned him up and down through the video screen.
"After witnessing my strength firsthand, you still want to have a match with our guild? Are you out of your mind? Or did one of your experiments go so wrong it scrambled your brain and turned you into an idiot or something...?"
"Wisdom, you should know, your only redeeming quality is your brain. If even that's gone and you bee a plete fool, what's the point of you even existing in this world?"
Evan studied Wisdom's seemingly good plexion for a moment, then asked sincerely.
"Ahem, ahem… Of course I'm not sick, my brain is in perfect shape!"
Wisdom coughed awkwardly before responding.
"Oh…"
Evan gave a meaningful hum.
"So which psychiatric ward are you staying in right now? I'll make time to visit you in a few days."
Evan said with a friendly smile.
"No, no, why are you assuming I've gone insane and landed in a mental hospital in the first place?!"
Wisdom's eye twitched as he questioned Evan in confusion.
"If you hadn't gone crazy, you wouldn't be thinking of challenging Fairy Tail in my world."
"Oh, and by the way, just so you don't get the wrong idea, I'm not trying to crush your self-esteem or anything, but our Earth Land Fairy Tail has four people with strength like mine. Forget what kind of power your Edolas Fairy Tail might have, even if you gathered all of Edolas together, could you beat even one of us? You couldn't, right?"
Evan said lazily, staring into the crystal.
"That's not necessarily true, Evan!"
"You're underestimating me too much!"
"You're underestimating the Fairy Tail of Edolas way too much!"
Wisdom clenched his fists, looking like a fired-up hot-blooded protagonist.
"…This guy…"
Evan couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"Alright, if that's all, I'm hanging up. These cross-world calls burn through a lot of magic power."
Evan yawned as he got ready to cut the connection. As for traveling to Edolas just to play some silly petition game with Wisdom, yeah, no thanks. He had zero interest.
"No, wait! Evan, don't hang up yet, I still have something important to say.."
Wisdom's expression changed, desperately trying to stop him.
Too late.
Evan had already ended the call before Wisdom could finish.
"Whew~"
"Time to get back to some missions."
"Just five more SS-ranked missions and I'll have enough to synthesize another Ten-Year Mission Medal."
Evan stretched, preparing to dive back into work. He couldn't slack off, not until he had absolute strength. Otherwise, his brain would start trembling from anxiety.
BZZT BZZT!
Just as Evan was checking for available jobs on the continent, the magic crystal in his backpack started buzzing again.
"Tch…"
Annoyed at being interrupted again, Evan yanked out the crystal and answered it bluntly.
"Wisdom, do you ever stop? Didn't I already tell you I'm busy? If you're just calling to waste my time again, don't blame me if I head to Edolas and beat you senseless!"
"…Oh, is that so?"
"So Big Brother is very busy, huh? Then I won't bother you anymore~"
But this time, the face on the crystal screen wasn't the smug, punchable Wisdom.
It was the gentle, beautiful face of a girl with long crimson hair, her large eyes glimmered with tears, her pretty brow carried a hint of determination.
A stunningly adorable and graceful girl.
"Erza?"
Evan froze. He hadn't expected the caller this time to be the Edolas version of Erza, Erza Wisdom.
"If Big Brother Evan is so busy… then I'll just end the call…"
Erza's expression showed a bit of hurt as she reached to hang up.
"Haha, no, no, it's fine, Erza. I was just joking~"
"I'm actually not that busy right now…"
Evan, who was about to go on a mission, sat back down and smiled at her.
"Really? I knew it, Big Brother Evan is the best~"
Erza smiled sweetly and made a heart shape with her hands.
"Heh…"
Evan couldn't help but return a soft smile.
"…You weren't saying that a moment ago."
Just as Evan was smiling warmly, the crystal suddenly flickered, and that familiar arrogant, snarky, debt-collector-level face of Wisdom popped back in.
With his cocky expression, flashy attire, and punch-me energy, Wisdom looked like the kind of mini-villain every protagonist is required to slap around at least once in the first few chapters.
"Ugh…"
Evan's brow twitched as his patience thinned.
"That's blatant favoritism! Total double standard!"
Wisdom pointed an accusing finger, furious at Evan's instant attitude shift.
"You know, the fact that you have my face and my voice already irritates me. Seeing you act all smug like that just makes it worse."
Evan snapped.
"So… about that Fairy Tail versus Fairy Tail petition?"
Wisdom looked at Evan, his eyes hopeful.
"Not going."
Evan shot him down immediately.
"Please! I have a few new inventions I need someone to help me test."
"The people in this world are too fragile to handle them, they can't show the true potential of my creations!"
Wisdom bent over humbly, pleading.
"I knew it!"
"I knew you had some ulterior motive…"
Evan sneered. He was right all along, there was no way Wisdom was calling just to honor some old bet.
The guy was crafty as hell.
Whether or not Wisdom was the number one genius of Earth Land, Edolas, or Elentear was debatable, but Evan was certain he was the most devious man in all three realms.
After all, this was the same guy who once pretended to be crippled just so pretty girls would push his wheelchair…
"So your answer is…?"
Wisdom's eyes sparkled with hope.
"Still no."
Evan looked him dead in the eye and rejected him again.
"Big Brother Evan~ Won't you please e?"
"Besides… Erza really wants to see you too~"
Just as Evan firmly rejected Wisdom, Erza clasped her hands and asked in the sweetest, most pleading voice possible.
"…Actually, I suppose going wouldn't be so bad."
Evan's tone shifted instantly. He furrowed his brow… and changed his mind on the spot.
"Damned siscon… I curse you to never find toilet paper when you need it most."
Wisdom seethed quietly. If he didn't need Evan's help, he would never allow his precious sister to act cute in front of someone else, even if that someone was technically just another version of himself.
Or… maybe especially because of that.
"Alright, I'll head over."
Evan smiled gently at Erza and replied.
"Yay! Then Big Brother Evan, we'll wait for you at the royal palace~"
Erza made another heart with her hands, then ended the call.
"Well then…"
Evan stretched and got ready for a trip to Edolas.
But just as he stood,
A raspy voice sounded from behind him.
"Evan… that girl in the crystal just now… who was she?"
"Hm?"
Evan turned around, and his face instantly went pale.
There, standing behind him with a faint murderous aura…
Was his beloved sister, Erza.
User Comments
0 comments from readers