Jarek.
I sat idly in my office, patiently waiting for Leilani to return from her visit to the hospital when suddenly my phone rang.
I quickly brought the phone to my ear, half expecting that it was her, and half expecting that it was my Beta Orion calling to report to . However, to my utmost surprise, it was none of them. Instead, it was Keisha who had called to let know that ’her health was better now.’
I frowned at the phone like it was sothing vile, my voice grating against my throat as I rasped; "And what has that got to do with ?"
A beat of silence passed between us before I heard her sigh through the phone. She whispered; "I wish to see you, Jarek. It’s important." And then she ended the call.
Her words... her voice... her everything made feel weird in a bad way. I wanted to hate her, I needed to hate her, but the more her words echoed in my head, replaying itself over and over again, I discovered that I didn’t hate her. I despised her... and I pitied her, which was a strange thing.
I knew that I shouldn’t go to see her. Hell, she didn’t deserve it. But for so reason, I found myself rising to my feet. I found myself getting into my car and driving to the hospital.
As I went, I prayed to the moon goddess that at least today, she would be sane enough to reject the mate bond, but I knew quickly that that prayer wasn’t answered when I stepped into her ward and—
She hugged .
Like the wench crept up on and threw herself into my arms.
I recoiled in disgust, my nose scrunching up as I pulled away, keeping her at arms’s length.
My eyes roved her body slowly, taking in her change of clothes that was more her style and the tiny glow on her face. I spat; "What was that for?"
She lowered her head coquettishly, whispering; "I missed you, and that’s what it was for."
Her words... and the shaless way in which she uttered them made so disgusted, I nearly threw up my breakfast.
I looked away from her to take in the state of the room and I wasn’t so surprised when I noticed that she had packed up and was now ready to leave the hospital. But knowing her, I knew that this was no good news for ... I knew that now she would be back to stalking ... to trying to force her way into my life, and that made more than a little uncomfortable.
I drawled; "You’re set to leave?"
She nodded quickly— too quickly whilst batting her lashes as she looked up at expectantly. "Yes, but I don’t have anywhere to go... it was why I wanted to see you."
"And?"
"And I wanted to know if you could let live with you for a while... at least until I’m back on my feet. I also wanted to—"
"No." I snapped, even before she could finish.
Her eyes widened in shock as she ca to look at closely, as if not quite believing that I could turn her down so blatantly.
Well, I couldn’t bla her for thinking like that as there was a ti I used to think that telling her the word ’No’ ant I was sinning against the goddess.
I gritted my teeth when she draped a hand over my crossed arms, tears pooling in her eyes as she drawled; "You still haven’t forgiven ?"
"I never gave the impression that I’ll ever forgive you, Keisha." I answered back coldly, ignoring the way she whimpered as if physically struck by my words. "In fact, I ca here with the idea that you’ll be sensible enough to see that our bond is a mistake, and that we ought to reject each other; But now I see that I was wrong."
Her face crumpled at my words and she began to sob quietly.
At so point, I used to think that the reason I felt I no longer loved Keisha was because I was still mad. I used to think that once she gave enough reasons to forgive her, we could go back to how we were before...
But now, standing before her and watching her cry, I knew that that was also false because I felt nothing. Nothing at all... not even pity as she sobbed her eyes out.
Her voice lowered, breaking when she called out to one more ti. I cocked my eyebrows at her in askance, waiting to hear what she had to say this ti, and as soon as she spoke, I suddenly had this irresistible urge to cut off my ears.
She said; "I am sorry for going with Gerald five years ago."
And that... that made whatever rage I felt triple in intensity. The corners of my eyes stung— not with tears but with sothing far darker. Far crueler.
I seethed; "You’re saying those words five years too late. It’s lost its aning and I don’t have a need for it."
"Can’t we just go back to how we used to be? Can’t you just forgive this once and take back?"
The fuck?
Her words so carelessly spoken stirred the wrongest darkest mories in my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, but my eyes flew open when I felt her fingers trail over my hand. Again, I recoiled.
"Jarek, I miss you... terribly. I miss what we used to have. Eloping with Gerald was the worst mistake of my life! So please, don’t hold it against forever. Don’t throw away our mate bond for sothing so insignificant!"
Sothing so insignificant.
Insignificant.
The words echoed in my mind like the sound of a broken tape on loop; And goddess help , I found her words very hypocritical.
Hypocritical because she’d also thrown away our mate bond when she t sweet-speaking Gerald. She’d thrown everything away when she began to break away from the pack to go be with those rogue Lycans.
And she’d lost when Grace happened...
At the mory, my usually quiet wolf stirred perilously in my mind, causing a whack headache to split the back of my skull.
My vision sward for a mont as I crashed into a nearby chair, groaning when the headache intensified.
"Jarek—!" I heard Keisha call out to frantically before her warm hands cupped my face.
And maybe it was my feral wolf... or the pent up rage I’d bottled up for years spilling over; but I snapped.
I snapped so hard.
My hand shot out to wrap around her neck as soon as her fingers touched my skin, and while the sounds of her choking filled my ears, I didn’t stop. If anything, it spurred on.
My voice was as cold as the snow falling outside when I growled into her ear. I seethed; "I could never forgive you even if I wanted to."
"Jarek!" She cried, thrashing wildly as tears stread down her face, "...Jarek you don’t an that! You cannot! You love !"
"I loved you!" I corrected her angrily. "I loved you so much, I tried to see beyond your flaws. I tried to make you belong. I tried to make everyone love you just as much as I loved you!"
"I know! I know!" She rasped, crying hysterically. "It’s why I know you could never leave !"
Those words seed to snap out of my montary slump and I sighed. I slowly let go of her neck, drew myself back even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, and drawled;
"You apologized for leaving ... you apologized for eloping with Gerald... but you never apologized for what happened to Grace. You never apologized for what your rebellion did to her... to my mother... to my entire family!"
Her face fell as soon as I said those words, and to my utter disgust, she fell to her knees and began to sob.
But crying doesn’t cut it, does it?
It doesn’t cut the tears of trauma. It doesn’t change the several months I’d stayed locked up in my room, hating myself for being mated to my family’s doom.
The only bright thing that’d co out of my relationship with Keisha is my friendship with Leilani and I’d rather die than let her ruin it.
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