Zevran.
Pain.
That was all I felt as I staggered in and out of the elevator, and as I made my way to Leilani’s office, the pain seed to triple in intensity, sending jolts of agonizing tremors up my spine.
"Arrghhh!"
From the corner of my eyes, I noticed the way Caelum was hunched over, his eyes closed as he pressed his body against the wall. With a shudder, he looked up at , his voice gruff as he whispered;
"We’re shit holes."
I frowned. "Huh?"
"Leilani is at it again..." he drawled, and I didn’t need to ask what he ant because I could already feel it. I already knew without being told what this pain ant... that it was her.
This was her giving us a taste of our own dicine. This was her showing us just how much suffering we’ve put her through.
My knees wobbled and I staggered backward. But after glancing one more ti at Caelum, I noticed to my surprise that he was not angry like I had anticipated. He was not irritated either. He was simply... sad.
And in pain.
"If this is how she feels whenever we sleep with other won, then trust when I say I now understand why she hates us," he mumbled under his breath but I heard him.
And I agreed with him too.
I just didn’t want to think about it. Especially now that I could feel my body burning up at just the thought of her being in the arms of another man. Sowhere within our mate bond, an overwhelming sense of agony surged through and I groaned when my lower abdon twisted painfully.
I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled. "Yes."
My body throbbed with raw pain but pushing back at it, I stumbled forward slowly until I arrived in front of her shut door.
And goddess, I didn’t even need to pry it open to know what I would find. I didn’t need to listen too hard to hear the soft moans slipping through the small cracks by the corners of the door.
My hands shook with both anger and frustration; But there was sothing more:
Jealousy.
Yes, that is what it is.
It twisted low and tight in my guts, making the corners of my eyes burn with a weird kind of rage. My hands balled into fists and I growled low in my throat when an urge to scratch my arm filled .
"Should we go back?" Caelum whispered from behind and when I turned around, I noticed that he was standing a few feet behind , his hands buried deep into his pockets as he stared straight at . His face was twisted into a painful frown and when he looked away from to glance at the door, I didn’t miss the hesitation in his eyes... the discomfort.
The annoyance.
And I knew that he didn’t want to go in. Well, I didn’t want to either. I didn’t want to see whatever it was happening behind that closed door. But for so reason, I couldn’t bring myself to move away. I felt rooted in place, drawn to her scent like an insect to nectar.
I tried to fight the urge to go to her but failed woefully because in the next minute, I found myself pushing the door open, my breath hitching when I ca face to face with Leilani and Frostclaw in a compromising position.
They were as pressed against each other as glue is to paper, and while she was sitting atop a large mahogany desk, he was standing between her spread thighs, his hands lost between the crevices of her thighs.
Upon my arrival, they both turned to and I could swear that I saw a small smirk play on Frostclaw’s lips as his eyes dragged from my head to my toe.
Leilani however, had a different expression on her face. She seed stunned. Lost. And looked like she wanted to disappear into thin air at the mont.
And her face was the last thing I saw before I turned and stepped out of her office, my heart hamring frantically in my chest like a wild bird in a cage as I walked away.
And hell, I knew that I shouldn’t be mad.
I knew that I had no right to feel this way. But even after telling myself these things, I couldn’t help it.
I couldn’t help the burning sensation I felt in my chest or the way her flushed face kept replaying itself in my head over and over again like so image sent from the pit of hell to tornt .
I could still see the satisfied smirk on Frostclaw’s face when he saw . Could still feel her guilty gaze on ...
And bloody hades, I could still feel the burning sensation on my skin. The prickling painful ache. The anguish.
—And I knew that I deserved it. All of these and more.
"I told you not to go in," Caelum’s voice suddenly snapped out of my reverie, and when I turned to him, I could see how troubled he too was.
I hissed; "I couldn’t help it."
As if understanding what I ant by that, we both fell into an uncomfortable silence, each of us lost in our own worlds.
Before leaving Frostclaw.Inc, I wrote a letter which I gave to the receptionist, informing Leilani of what I intended to tell her in the first place, and after I was done with that and had convinced the said receptionist that it was sothing of utmost importance, I left the building whilst feeling like a complete piece of shit.
The image of her long slender legs wrapped around Frostclaw’s waist still plagued even several minutes after witnessing that painful sight.
But that wasn’t what worried the most. What worried the most was how she had looked at . It was the pain I had seen in her eyes, the conflict. The frustration.
And call stupid but I knew then and there that she’d felt exactly how I felt. That she’d sensed the hurt in my chest— probably due to our mate bond.
And I knew that she felt guilty,
Not like I could bla her. It wasn’t her fault. It was ours.
—
For the rest of the day, I stayed locked up in my room, replaying the events of the day, especially the ’Leilani situation with Alpha Jarek’ one, and now, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was truly the end.
If we had finally gotten to the point where letting her go would be the best option for all of us.
The thought alone filled with so much anguish, but I knew deep down that it was better than hurting her... and ourselves, so with it playing on my mind, I slipped out of my room and went downstairs where I t both of my brothers watching TV.
From the frowns on their faces and how hunched their backs were, it was obvious that even several hours later, they still couldn’t get the thought of Leilani off their minds.
I spat; "Let’s reject her."
And at my words, they both turned to look at , their faces tugging downward into a frown.
Kael was the first to snap out of whatever effects my words had on him. He swiftly rose to his feet, folded his arms across his chest and hissed; "No."
"No?" I frowned. "Did you just say no?" I spat, and this ti, it was Caelum who spoke next.
He muttered; "Z, I know that you’re mad after what you’d witnessed earlier. I understand the urge to get all of these over with after seeing her in the arms of another man. We’re no saints ourselves, so—"
"I’m not saying it because I am angry, Caelum." I spat, half wondering if a teor had fallen on his head in the past few hours.
His eyes widened for a very brief mont before he finally dropped his gaze. He asked softly; "Then you’re saying it because?"
"Because I am tired," I cried, "...because I think we’re hurting ourselves and her."
"We can no longer have her..." Kael whispered from behind Caelum, his eyes downcast as he forced out the words; "...I think we’ve lost her and it’s only selfish of us to keep holding on to her using the mate bond."
"Yes."
"Yes?" Caelum spat, his face twisting into an ugly frown. "You both want to let her go? You want to give up our mate?" He seethed, but I didn’t miss the slight trembling in his voice or the way his hands had begun to shake so slightly, I feared he was about to have a ntal breakdown.
"Do you intend to hold on to her?" I bit back angrily and to my utmost surprise, he nodded quickly— not even wasting a second as he spat;
"Yes! I intend to! I intend to hold on for as long as it takes even if it’s forever. And I intend to expose all of Chalice’s cris and that of every other person who’s hurt her in one way or the other."
"Cael—"
"I intend to win her back. And I do not care if you both want to back out. But I was the biggest piece of shit to her and I want to make up for it!" He growled and with that, he stord away, slamming the door shut as he walked out.
And it wasn’t until he was gone that I noticed the presence standing close to the door.
My breath hitched.
Micah.
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