Zevran.
I couldn’t help her.
I couldn’t bring myself to touch her knowing fully well that it was not I that she wanted. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her in fear that I would see what I have lost. What I was missing. Heck, I also didn’t want to see the way she looked at like I was such a hero when we all knew I wasn’t one.
Her nails dug into my skin as she threw her head back and scread so loud, it instantly pulled out of my train of thought, and when I looked down to really look at her, she shivered and said; "Please..." her voice breaking as she tried to croak out the word.
And that alone made my heart feel heavy. It made sad and hurt, and made feel a kind of pain I have never felt before. I wanted to reach out to her. To pull her into my arms. Heavens, I wanted to take her pain away but goddess, how could I?
She tugged at again and this ti, I couldn’t help but frown slightly. I whispered; "Huh?"
"Please help ,"
And by the gods, as soon as I heard that, whatever resolve I had left nearly went down the drain. I wanted to help her in the only way I knew how to... wanted to pull her out of this agonizing heat... to make love to her.
To heal her...
But knowing her and how sour the relationship we already shared was, I couldn’t risk losing her trust this way. I couldn’t afford to make her hate again. Call selfish, but I didn’t want to lose her more than I have already lost her.
—I knew damn well that she wasn’t herself and that she would hate if she discovered that I’d taken advantage of her vulnerability.
My eyes squeezed shut in agony and I sighed, but just as I was about to move further away from her, her hand shot out to grab my arm, and again my breath hitched when my eyes t her purple ones now swirling with emotions that I couldn’t put a na to.
I grazed my fingers over her cheek, watching the way she squird. Her already flushed cheeks flushed even more when her eyes t mine and in a voice barely above a whisper, she drawled; "I want you to touch ."
Gavin grunted.
And it wasn’t until I heard that sound that I rembered that we weren’t alone. I turned to look at him and at Caelum, and while Gavin was seemingly confused, not knowing whether to ask to leave or stay, Caelum looked as though he was fighting his demons. And when I say demons, I an the horny monster trying to eat its way through him.
He chewed on his bottom lip incessantly, squeezing at the bottom of his shirt until his knuckles turned white.
One glance at him and I already knew what he was thinking, so I peeled my eyes away from him and turned to Leilani. "I cannot touch you inappropriately, Lani. I can only help you through this night," I said slowly while I cupped her face in my hands.
She frowned slightly as she dug her nails even deeper into my skin until she drew blood.
Her fingers curled around my skin, igniting my body with a kind of fire that was all too consuming, I feared I wouldn’t survive this night without having my compass broken.
I seethed; "Please let go of ."
Her eyes flashed with a look that I’ve never seen on her before— desire. It made my throat go dry, made my body convulse even before I could stop it.
My wolf stirred awake and just as it did, my cock bobbed slowly, as if trying to remind of the easy way out of this ss.
Sex.
"I can walk away," Gavin said suddenly, as if noticing the tension in the air. But I knew... heavens I knew that if I allowed him to walk out that door, then there was no telling what I could do.
I shook my head so fast, my neck nearly twisted due to the force. I gritted out, "No!"
"Why?" He snapped exasperatedly, "...she needs help. You are the only ones who can really help her. You should be the one—"
"NO!" Caelum and I yelled so loud that Gavin flinched.
His eyes widened slowly and as if suddenly realizing what was indeed happening, that we would never touch Leilani in the way he wants us to, he heaved a sigh and dropped his head, his voice low as he muttered;
"I am scared,"
"And I am too. But Leilani would hate if I did what you’re asking to do."
"You don’t have to penetrate her. All you can do is touch her. Intimately but cancel out penetration. She’s in too much pain."
"I don’t trust myself not to go too far if I should start with her."
"But I trust you!" He snapped, making my mouth snap shut. "I trust you to be a gentleman. I trust you to do what you can to help her out of this... but I also know that you value your relationship with her so much, you wouldn’t want to go too far."
Goddess, I didn’t want to do this...
Wait, scratch that, I want to do this. I have dreamt about it for so long, but I never ever wished to do it like this.
"But if you cannot... I won’t force you. I just hope that she..."
"I will." I snapped quickly, turning to look at Caelum who instantly dropped his gaze and shook his head.
In our mind link, the words; ’That will be torture,’ filtered through, but did I listen?
Of course not!
I simply looked at him and shook my head and then scooted even closer to Leilani, squeezing my eyes tightly when she curled her fingers into my shirt and leaned so close, her warm breath tickled my face.
Her fingers traced invincible lines from my face to my collar bone and then back to my face again where it hovered over my lips tentatively.
She moaned; "Kiss ."
But I’d never dare to kiss her like this.
So instead of doing as I’ve been told, I took her hand in mine and began to kiss her knuckles one after the other.
I do not know when Gavin slipped out of the room or when Caelum ca to join us. All that I knew was that I was fighting my demons, trying so hard not to take this a step too far.
Her hands curled into my hair and when she fisted the hair at the nape of my neck, using it to propel forward just to plant her lips on mine, I saw stars.
And the moon. Goddess, I even saw the entire fucking galaxy put together!
"Leilani, wait," I drawled in a voice that I could barely recognize, "let’s go slow."
At my words, she rose slowly to her feet, her eyes fastened on my face before she turned to look at Caelum. And when she smiled flirtatiously, my heart sorsaulted in my chest.
I whispered; "Don’t flirt."
She smiled and then looked like she was about to say sothing. However, just before the words could get out, she suddenly doubled over in pain. Her glazed eyes widened slowly and a scream tore out from the back of her throat.
"Arghhh!"
Goddess her agonizing scream twisted the knife deeper into my chest. It didn’t help that I knew that she was in pain and there was nothing I could do to help.
Her screams went on for a couple of minutes before it suddenly stopped and she rose again and I couldn’t help but watch with wide eyes as she slowly began to discard her clothes one after the other starting with the tank top she was wearing. But just as she wanted to take off the bra too, I suddenly shot up and grabbed her arm, my heart racing as I spat;
"No. Not that one!" I scread, flushed. "Please don’t take that one off. You’re good just like this!"
But she wasn’t listening.
Goddess, this girl would be the death of !
I tried to hold her off from showing more skin when she captured my lips in hers again and pushed even closer to , her heat searing through the barriers known as clothes between us.
And good heavens, I almost scread at the bliss!
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