It’s all his fault.
It’s his fault.
He has never felt so vulnerable and desperate.
What does it an?
What does he an by what he said?
What does his expression an?
Xie Wanqing’s fingertips trembled uncontrollably as she held the teacup.
He also had those dreams, with mories not belonging to this world?
mories of him deceiving her, humiliating her, betraying her?
This is all too surreal, Xie Wanqing’s heart was in turmoil, yet her mind beca even clearer.
So, everything that happened in the dreams was really their past lives?
She was not an observer, but truly experienced it herself.
Perhaps her death in her past life was too unjust that even the heavens couldn’t bear it, allowing her to rember everything.
And now, he rembers everything too.
Rembers that he owes her a life, which is why he said he would give her an explanation.
So, this is how it is.
Xie Wanqing felt her mind go blank, staring at him dazedly.
She looked helpless, like a lost and bewildered little girl, making Lu Ziyuan’s heart soften suddenly, his arm almost instinctively raised, wanting to embrace her.
But in the end, he held back his movent.
When they weren’t face to face, it always seed there was so much to say, but at the mont of confrontation, he opened and closed his mouth, unsure where to start.
However, many things, in the end, had to be told to her.
A long silence.
Lu Ziyuan laughed at himself and said, "After you left, I existed alone for five years."
Afraid of scaring her, he spoke very softly,
Xie Wanqing blinked, "...What do you an?"
He slowly repeated, "After you weren’t there, I lived alone in the world for five years."
Even though she was sitting right opposite him now, he still refused to use the word ’death’ when ntioning the past life.
This was his taboo.
And Xie Wanqing was stunned.
"How could it be like this..."
What does he an by living alone in the world for five years?
He had practiced martial arts since he was young, strong and healthy, with unfathomable prowess; when she died coughing blood, he was just twenty years old, just coming of age.
He had just inherited the title, transitioning from the Princely Heir to an Extraordinary Marquis, it was the age for achievents and aspirations.
Why did he die at twenty-five?
Indeed, how could it be like that?
A familiar pain twisted in her heart, Lu Ziyuan’s breathing halted slightly from the pain, but fearing he would alarm the person before him, he forcefully endured it.
His voice trembled slightly, "I didn’t know about it the ti you ca looking for in the study, I was critically injured and unconscious then, almost dying."
"...!" Xie Wanqing’s pupils slightly dilated, her lips tightened unconsciously.
The study incident was, among the brutal dreams, her biggest knot besides the two maids.
She endured so long, acted so obediently, and that ti was her last act of courage, hoping to find him for an explanation regarding their relationship.
She wanted to know why he deceived her.
Lu Ziyuan indeed understood her, the pride of the legitimate daughter from the Marquis Mansion, arranged to stay in a family temple for months, not allowed visits, not allowed to leave, she reached her limit.
Yet he didn’t fulfill his promise.
When she stord into the study seeking an explanation, then was turned away, how sad must she have felt on the way back?
And the reprimands she suffered the next day in front of the madams were utterly humiliating.
All of these he saw with his own eyes.
Thinking of the humiliation she suffered, a dull pain was unbearable in Lu Ziyuan’s heart.
He closed his eyes for a mont and continued, "On my return from the Northern Border Battlefield, I was ambushed, shot in the back, and those days I was in a coma."
"Before this, I thought the country, responsibilities, and pursuit of power were the most important things in my heart, but at the brink of life and death, only you, only you were in my mind."
"I couldn’t bear the thought of you remarrying after I died, nor could I bear to see you alone for life,... you don’t know that feeling," he smiled slightly, "before I went into a coma I did all I could to arrange everything for you."
"I wrote a letter of release for you, if I didn’t survive, soone would escort you back to the Xie family, Mingjian and Ming Feng would stay with you, five thousand trusted aides were left to assist you, my personal property wasn’t much, all was given to you in advance."
"I always rembered you in the family temple, waiting for to co back for you, but the news of my injury couldn’t be spread, before life and death were determined, no one could know."
He didn’t intentionally avoid seeing her, didn’t intentionally deceive or humiliate her.
This answer left Xie Wanqing slightly disoriented.
So that was it...
But the resentnt and pain had already been caused, did the belated explanation still matter now?
Amidst the conscious drifting, the man’s voice continued on the other side.
"As for Liu Manrou, I didn’t lie to you before, she was Lu Zishuo’s concubine, and what she carried was of the second branch of the Lu Family."
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