"You tell not to mind those trivial details, that she doesn’t affect ,"
She sneered, looking him up and down, "How can’t it affect ? In my eyes, she’s the woman you hold to sleep."
Her gaze was mocking, and Lu Ziyuan’s expression turned unpleasant, "I didn’t..."
Xie Wanqing ignored him, continuing, "Do you know how torn I feel every ti you co to Shaoguang Courtyard and drag to bed?"
"I tried to tell myself that very few n in this world don’t take concubines, that having concubines is sothing you should have. I shouldn’t be so petty and calculative; I should learn to be generous, to be a virtuous and dignified Marchioness."
Her tone was calm, yet every word was precious, sinking Lu Ziyuan’s heart to the bottom. He stepped forward, wanting to stop her from continuing, but Xie Wanqing’s voice had already sounded in his ear.
"But I can’t do it," she said, "When you kiss , I can’t help but think, who else has this mouth kissed, where has it kissed them? When you hold , I think about how you behave on their bed, whether you’re overpowering like this and just as demanding."
"Those thoughts I can’t control," she showed disgust, "Every ti we’re close, it makes nauseous to the point of wanting to vomit."
These were the thoughts she had suppressed her entire life, but back then, as his wife, speaking these words would only make her more embarrassed and ridiculous without any benefit.
Now it’s different; she has no more reservations. She doesn’t have to wrong herself anymore, doesn’t have to pretend.
She simply finds him disgusting.
Lu Ziyuan seed dumbstruck, staring blankly at her lips moving, hearing her utter heart-wrenching words.
Those years, the bits and pieces he used for consolation, she said made her want to vomit.
Those mories were the motivation that had sustained him for five years, but in her eyes, they were so worthless.
His face turned pale, unwilling to hear her continue.
"Only you, only kissed you, only held you; don’t think of like that. I’ve only ever wanted you," he paused, "I’ve only slept holding you."
Towards the end, his residual sound carried a hint of grievance.
No fierceness, no cold arrogance, none of it existed; at this mont, he was just like a misunderstood young man.
Xie Wanqing pressed her lips together, looking at him with so inexplicable expression.
The room turned quiet, the distance between them only an arm’s length, her scent wafting slowly with each breath, lingering around their noses.
It’s the fragrance of the white magnolia she always wears.
She didn’t know how much he loved her scent.
He most loved holding her in his arms, kissing her body.
Her skin like mutton fat jade, ward bit by bit, tinted with a hint of pink.
Even now, despite their relationship reaching this standstill, he still couldn’t resist everything about her.
He had long known that she was his addiction.
Lu Ziyuan’s eyes moved slightly, his back gradually straightening.
Such a change, Xie Wanqing almost instantly noticed it. She frowned and retreated two steps until her back was against the windowsill with no room to retreat.
Her series of reactions made Lu Ziyuan’s lips curve into a smile; he stood still without approaching, rely lifted his gaze to look at her and chuckled.
"Wanwan truly understands ."
They had been married for two years, intimately close beyond asure.
Xie Wanqing turned her eyes away, disdainfully saying, "Beast!"
Just now, she was in tears, explaining her innermost struggles; he was even injured. Yet, despite the situation, he could start being lustful mid-conversation.
If not a beast, then what?
Lu Ziyuan responded with a hum, unbothered by the insult.
"Say what you want, I won’t deny it." His gaze fell on her delicate face, "Even if I’m a beast, I’ve only ever gotten hard for you."
Such words, how could he shalessly say them?
Crude and vulgar, she even felt her ears were dirtied.
Xie Wanqing’s understanding of his shalessness deepened further. Her cheeks flushed red, angrily glaring at him.
For a mont, she gritted her teeth and said, "I don’t believe you."
His long explanation is rely to say he’s innocent.
"I don’t believe your words; I don’t believe you haven’t touched Liu Manrou and Er Xia." Thinking of Er Xia, her expression grew colder, "After all, didn’t you consummate things with Er Xia right in my courtyard?"
As soon as she finished speaking, Lu Ziyuan’s expression changed, "Er Xia’s incident was unexpected. When I found out who was behind her, I couldn’t care about anything else, had no ti to slowly remove this thorn."
"I confronted her, gave her two choices: to die directly or to turn against her master and side with ; she chose to betray her master to live."
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