“First of all, I want you to know that I would never treat you lightly in that way.”
“Ah, right! I wasn’t trying to say you were that kind of... bad person!”
“‘Mr. Lee Hyunmook’?”
The look in his eyes as he said it was strangely sad, so Yohan quickly corrected himself.
“...Hyunmook-hyung.”
He shifted uncomfortably on the skull seat. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought this up. But the regret didn’t last long. Yohan truly wanted to know what exactly they were to each other. Even when they got along perfectly, sotis he lay awake at night, desperate to know how Hyunmook really saw him.
“Anyway, I was just curious. I an...”
But how was he supposed to say it? With almost no dating experience, and especially with this person as the other party, the words stuck on his lips. His face reddened deeper and deeper, until Hyunmook lowered his brows with pity.
“Yohan. To , you are... so, so, so....”
Even though Yohan had purified him just before, there seed to be a faint red glimr in Hyunmook’s eyes again. Probably just the closeness playing tricks on him. Or maybe it was simply that Hyunmook always made him unbearably tense.
“Precious. Irreplaceable.”
Before he knew it, Hyunmook was kneeling at his feet. Yohan panicked and tried to slide down to the floor too, but a firm grip on his knees stopped him—it felt like a solid cushion had been propped there.
“So much that whatever you want, I’d give it to you....”
Yohan didn’t know whether to feel glad or uneasy. Sothing about the words nagged at him. He hesitated, then asked cautiously:
“Because I’m a purifier?”
That thought always tornted him—was Hyunmook treating him well only because of his purification? If he weren’t a purifier, would this bond exist at all? But Hyunmook denied it flatly.
“No. Because you were the only one who ca running to save . Not once, but twice you protected .”
“O-oh....”
A slow, overwhelming joy swelled in Yohan’s chest. He recalled the monts when he had thrown himself to protect Hyunmook, fighting even against the Bumram. Terrifying, but worth it.
“Even if you weren’t a purifier, I would still hold you as most precious.”
Only then did Yohan’s face light up. He bent his forehead to Hyunmook’s hands gripping his knees, then lifted his head again. Through his tousled white hair, black eyes looked up at him.
“I’m not much of a talker, am I? Maybe that’s why you think otherwise... If it’s hard to believe, should I be more honest?”
Yohan, overflowing with emotion, almost said it was fine—but stopped. If not now, when would he ever get another chance? He bared more of his heart.
“It’s not that it’s hard to believe.”
“It’s not?”
Hyunmook echoed in a voice sweet and soft like cream. Breath caught in Yohan’s chest, he steadied himself, then burst out:
“I an, I—I... I like you. In that way. But since I’m a man, I thought maybe you’d feel uncomfortable....”
“Mm. Yohan. You’re a human being.”
“Yes? Of course?”
Yohan blinked, bewildered, at his answer. Hyunmook chose his words carefully, continuing slowly.
“So to , as long as you’re human, nothing else matters.”
“Oh! So you an, whether male or female, it doesn’t matter—you’re bisexual?”
“...Yes. That’s right.”
The reply was faintly delayed, but then he added, more gravely:
“Actually, even if you weren’t human, I think I’d still love you. You’d still be cute.”
Not human? The words rattled Yohan. Suddenly uneasy, he blurted:
“You do know I’m not literally a sheep, right? That’s just my surna.”
Should he purify him again? But Hyunmook suddenly laughed out loud, as if he’d heard the funniest thing in the world. Rare as it was to see him laugh, Yohan felt a burst of happiness too. He giggled back, then dared to ask boldly:
“So... does that an we’re dating now?”
Yet strangely, Hyunmook looked troubled. Yohan’s heart sank, his eyes dimming.
“Don’t misunderstand, Yohan. It’s just... my little shred of conscience. It bothers .”
“Conscience? Ah—because of the age difference?”
Yohan rembered. Back in the swamp, when he had kissed ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) the mad Hyunmook to calm him, once lucid again he had murmured about being guilty because Yohan was too young.
“Anyway, I was going to take it slow. Wait.”
Trying to be understanding, Yohan—unusually—snapped back.
“I’m not so underage kid! It’s only ten years apart! That’s nothing!”
But then he faltered inwardly. Was ten years really not much? He was twenty-three now... ten years younger would be thirteen... elentary school age—yikes! Maybe from Hyunmook’s perspective it did feel like a gap.
‘No, no! What am I thinking? I’m an adult. A ten-year gap isn’t much. There are even couples a full zodiac cycle apart.’
And look at Hyunmook—top Awakener, powerful, strong body, handso face, good personality, and a selfless protector in the Abyss. What was ten years compared to all that?
“Right, ten years isn’t so big a difference....”
“Exactly! It’s not like we’re a full zodiac cycle apart. And Hyunmook-hyung, you look so young. You don’t seem that much older at all.”
“......”
But instead of brightening, Hyunmook’s face darkened further. Nervous, Yohan pouted.
“So... how long were you planning to wait, then? Isn’t it aningless? We’ve already kissed plenty, and last ti we... uh, did things... well, anyway.”
They hadn’t gone all the way, but what they had done was already too embarrassing to na. He might not have given anything in return, but to him, it was practically the sa as spending the night together. Hyunmook muttered, eyes distant.
“Maybe when you’re about fifty years older...”
“Fifty?! I’d be a wrinkled grandpa!”
Yohan burst out laughing at the absurd joke. Fifty more years—that was twenty-seven years of waiting. Hyunmook smiled weakly too, but his laugh had no strength. Yohan’s laughter faded. Maybe he was using age as an excuse to reject him? His heart squeezed, and he spoke earnestly, fearful.
“Whatever your answer, I’ll still purify you with everything I have....”
He tried to sound steady, but his voice dropped at the end, dejected. After a mont of struggle, Hyunmook tilted his head back, staring at the high ceiling of the queen’s chamber.
“Fine. I’ll throw away sothing like conscience. As if I’ve ever been human anyway.”
Yohan bristled.
“What are you talking about? You’re the most human person I’ve ever t. Don’t say that. I may not have told you before, but I was a fan. You were my... hero.”
Before falling into the Abyss, Yohan had seen him fight rifts more than once. And countless other citizens had too—he had saved that many people. Hyunmook blinked rapidly, then gave a bitter smile.
“Then know this. Just like before, from now on, no matter what happens, I’ll never give you up. Even if you resent , hate , I will never....”
His voice, low and muttering with head bowed, was desperate and bleak. Pity stirred in Yohan’s chest. He reached out, covering Hyunmook’s darkness as if he hadn’t noticed it, speaking brightly.
“Of course! We’ll never be apart.”
He rubbed Hyunmook’s back. Still kneeling, Hyunmook laid his face on Yohan’s thigh, making Yohan’s heart skip. Looking up with a faint smile, his eyes glead strangely.
“If only I could keep you from Seungryong or Hoyoung, hide you away sowhere deep, safe, where only I know....”
Uneasy already, Yohan poured light into the hand stroking his back and said firmly:
“You won’t do that, right?”
“...No. Never.”
Hyunmook’s tone was calm and gentle as ever, but Yohan kept pouring light into him for a long ti.
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