The doctor gave my shoulder one last gentle pat, the kind ant to steady soone who looked like they might fall apart any second.
"I’ll be back in about an hour or so for a routine check-up," he said, voice calm and even.
"Okay..." I nodded, swallowing hard. My throat felt dry, like sandpaper.
"You take care of yourself too," he added, looking right in the eye. "Your mother is okay. Don’t worry too much. She’ll wake up tomorrow, most likely. We’ve got her stable."
"Alright... Thank you, Doctor," I managed, lips pressed tight. I was trying so hard to keep my face straight, to not let the cracks show.
He let out a quiet breath, gave a small nod, then turned and walked to the door. It clicked shut behind him—soft, but it felt loud in the sudden quiet. Just and Aeri now.
*Tap... tap...*
My shoes made small sounds on the linoleum as I turned back toward the bed. I dragged the chair closer—close enough that my knees almost touched the tal side rail. I sat down slowly, elbows on my thighs, staring at her.
She looked so peaceful. Too peaceful. Eyes closed, lips slightly parted, the thin blanket rising and falling with each slow breath. The heart monitor kept its steady rhythm—*beep... beep... beep*—like nothing in the world was wrong. But everything was.
I rubbed my face hard with both palms, pressing until I saw spots. A long, shaky sigh slipped out.
"It’s my fault..." I whispered to the empty room. The words felt heavy coming out. "It’s my fault..."
Another breath. Then the tears ca—hot, fast, unstoppable. They filled my eyes, blurred the edges of everything until Aeri’s face swam in front of .
"Only if I’d stayed with her..." My voice cracked, low and rough. "If I hadn’t run off to Elizabeth’s place... if I’d just stayed ho even after she said no... then none of this would’ve..."
The words choked off in my throat. I couldn’t finish. Tears slipped free, sliding down my cheeks, dripping onto my lap, onto my clenched hands. I didn’t wipe them away. Just let them fall.
"It’s my fault..." I repeated, quieter this ti, like saying it again would make it hurt less. Or more. I wasn’t sure which.
I reached out slowly and took her hand again—the one without the IV. Her fingers were cool, limp. I wrapped both my hands around hers, holding on like she might disappear if I let go.
"I’m sorry, Aeri," I whispered, leaning my forehead against our joined hands. My voice broke on her na. "I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve been there. I should’ve seen it coming. I should’ve..."
The monitor kept beeping. Steady. Unchanging. Like it didn’t care about the ss I’d made of everything.
I stayed like that—head down, tears falling quietly, holding her hand like it was the only thing keeping from falling apart completely.
The room stayed silent except for the soft drip of the IV and the slow, even beeps counting out the seconds until she woke up. Until we could finally talk. Until I could try to fix what I’d broken.
I sat there in the dim hospital room, the only light coming from the soft glow of the bedside lamp and the faint green numbers on the heart monitor. Aeri’s face looked so calm in sleep, but every ti I looked at her, my chest tightened like soone was squeezing it.
*I was feeling so heartbroken that I left without thinking about her... but then that led her to go sowhere else.* The thought kept looping in my head, over and over, like a bad song I couldn’t turn off. If I hadn’t stord out that night, if I’d just stayed and talked instead of running away to lick my wounds, maybe she wouldn’t have ended up wherever she did. Maybe she wouldn’t be lying here with drugs in her system that she never touched before.
*I have no fucking clue who that Sonny guy even is.* My eyes burned hot with anger just thinking about his stupid smile that he was giving in front of our house, the way he talked like we were all old pals. *He for sure did sothing to her.* The idea made my hands curl into fists on my lap. I wanted to find him, grab him by the collar, and demand answers right then and there.
But I couldn’t. Not yet.
*I can’t just confront him unless I know what really happened.* I let out a deep, tired sigh that rattled in my chest. *Until Aeri wakes up and tells the truth, I can’t do anything. I’d just be guessing, and I might make everything worse.*
*I must wait until Aeri fully wakes up...* I muttered the words out loud, barely above a whisper.
My hand moved on its own—slowly reaching out. I traced my fingers along the side of her face, gentle, like she was made of sothing fragile. Down her jawline, soft skin still a little warm under my touch. I gave her cheek a light, playful pull, the way I used to when she was pretending to be mad at .
A small, sad smile tugged at my lips.
"Please wake up fast, my love," I said quietly, staring at her sleeping face. "I need you to open those eyes and tell everything. I need to hear it from you."
*RING. RING.*
The sudden sound cut through the quiet like a knife. My phone is vibrating hard in my pocket.
"Ahh, who is it now?" I muttered, annoyed. I fished it out, and glanced at the screen.
Jonathan.
My only real friend left these days—and yeah, also the guy who managed the brothel where I worked. Perfect timing.
I hit answer and brought it to my ear.
"Hello, Ezra, you fucker!" Jonathan’s voice exploded through the speaker before I could even say hello. Loud, happy, like he hadn’t noticed I was sitting in a hospital room at all.
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