"The dinner scene. ’We’re all in it together.’ Very Christmas-y."
"That’s the most ridiculous stretch I’ve ever heard!"
I looked at Iris, who was frowning at her phone. "This one’s actually debatable. Brazil has Christmas elents but it’s not typically classified as a Christmas movie."
"Objection sustained," I said. "Pick sothing else, Sabrina."
For the first ti, Sabrina looked slightly annoyed. "Fine. Joyeux Noel."
"What language is that even in?" Cassidy demanded.
"French. It’s about the Christmas Truce during World War I."
"Of course it is," Cassidy muttered.
Vivienne was looking confident again. The artsy movie territory was her wheelhouse. "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The 2005 version."
"That’s not a Christmas movie!" Cassidy protested.
"Father Christmas appears in it. It’s literally about the return of Christmas to Narnia."
"That’s not... it’s not ABOUT Christmas!"
"Christmas is a major thematic elent."
Iris confird it with a nod.
Cassidy was spiraling. The tir in her head was ticking down, and she was clearly out of options she felt confident about.
"I..." She looked around the room like the walls might whisper movie titles to her. "The... um... Reindeer Gas?"
Dead silence.
"Ben Affleck movie from 2000," Vivienne said slowly. "It’s about a casino heist. Just because it has ’reindeer’ in the title doesn’t make it a Christmas movie."
"But..." Cassidy’s voice was getting smaller. "The title..."
"Doesn’t count," I said. "You’re out."
Cassidy’s shoulders slumped in defeat. "This is stupid anyway. Who even rembers this many Christmas movies?"
"People who pay attention," Sabrina said sweetly.
"I’m going to hit you with a tennis racket."
"After we finish the ga."
Down to two. Vivienne and Sabrina faced off like gunfighters at high noon, if gunfighters wore silk pajamas and argued about French art films.
Sabrina looked completely relaxed. "The Shop Around the Corner."
Vivienne nodded approvingly. "Ernst Lubitsch. 1940. Classic." She paused thoughtfully. "In Bruges."
"How is In Bruges a Christmas movie?" I asked.
"Takes place during Christmas. Christmas imagery throughout. The characters discuss Christmas plans. Christmas is integral to the lancholy atmosphere."
Iris confird it reluctantly.
Sabrina’s smile got sharper. "Tangerine."
"The transgender sex worker movie set on Christmas Eve," Vivienne said imdiately. "Bold choice."
"You know it?"
"I know everything."
I was starting to think this competition might go on forever. Both girls clearly had encyclopedic knowledge of obscure films, and they were just getting started on the deep cuts.
"Eyes Wide Shut," Vivienne said.
"Kubrick’s final film. Christmas party setting, Christmas lights, holiday atmosphere underlying the sexual tension," Sabrina agreed. "Batman Returns."
"Tim Burton. Christmas setting, penguin army, Danny DeVito as the Penguin erging on Christmas. Counts." Vivienne looked thoughtful. "Shazam!"
"DC superhero movie. Foster ho Christmas scene, Christmas morning powers reveal. Acceptable." Sabrina was clearly enjoying herself now. "Female Trouble."
Vivienne paused. "John Waters film. Christmas morning scene with Divine. 1974." She smiled slightly. "I see we’re getting into cult territory."
"Just getting ward up."
This was getting ridiculous. They were naming movies I’d never heard of, movies that probably played in art house theaters for three people and a confused janitor.
"The Ref," Vivienne continued.
"Denis Leary. Christmas Eve family dinner from hell. Good choice." Sabrina looked like she was settling in for a long battle. "The Ice Harvest."
"Harold Ramis. Christmas Eve noir with John Cusack. Underrated." Vivienne’s corporate persona was completely gone now, replaced by sothing that looked almost like... fun. "Go."
"Doug Liman’s directorial debut. Christmas Eve rave culture. Three interconnected stories." Sabrina nodded approvingly. "Better Living Through Chemistry."
"Sam Rockwell. Small-town pharmacist. Christmas setting. 2014." Vivienne was rapid-firing now. "Less Than Zero."
"Bret Easton Ellis adaptation. Christmas break. Holiday party cocaine overdose. Dark but counts."
They were speaking in so kind of film school shorthand now, rapid-fire movie titles and plot descriptions like they were performing a well-rehearsed routine.
"The Family Stone," Vivienne said.
"Sarah Jessica Parker. Family Christmas disaster. Multiple Oscar nominees." Sabrina didn’t even hesitate. "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang."
"Shane Black. Christmas setting. Detective noir. Robert Downey Jr. pre-Iron Man."
"Exactly." Sabrina looked pleased. "Your turn."
Vivienne was quiet for a mont, actually thinking for the first ti in the competition. The ten-second tir was ticking in her head.
"Just Friends," she said finally.
"Ryan Reynolds. High school reunion during Christmas. Anna Faris. Counts." Sabrina looked like she was having the ti of her life. "Everybody’s All-Arican."
Vivienne frowned. "I don’t think that’s a Christmas movie."
"Football season extends through Christmas. Holiday bowl gas. Christmas break romance subplot."
"That’s a stretch."
Iris looked up from her phone, frowning. "This one’s really borderline. It’s more about football and college romance than Christmas specifically."
"Objection sustained," I said. "Pick sothing else."
For the first ti, Sabrina looked genuinely annoyed. "Fine. Protheus."
"What?" Vivienne stared at her. "How is Protheus a Christmas movie?"
"The Engineers created humanity as a Christmas gift to the universe. The birth of Christ parallels the birth of xenomorphs. Religious imagery throughout."
"That’s the most ridiculous interpretation I’ve ever heard!"
"Thematically sound."
Iris was frantically googling. "Yeah, no. That’s way too much of a stretch. Protheus is science fiction horror, not a Christmas movie."
"Strike two," I said. "One more bad answer and you’re out."
Sabrina’s jaw tightened. "The Apartnt."
"Billy Wilder. 1960. Christmas Eve confession scene. Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine. Counts." Vivienne looked triumphant. "Lethal Weapon."
"Action movie series. First one takes place during Christmas. ’I’m getting too old for this shit’ during holiday season." Sabrina was back on solid ground. "P2."
Vivienne paused. "Underground parking garage. Christmas Eve. Wes Bentley. 2007. Horror movie but technically Christmas setting."
"Exactly."
They kept going. And going. Movie after movie, obscure reference after obscure reference, like they were competing in so kind of cinematic death match that only film school graduates could truly appreciate.
"Black Christmas," Vivienne said.
"Which version?" Sabrina asked. "1974 or 2006 remake?"
"Original. Bob Clark. Before he did A Christmas Story."
"Good choice. Silent Night, Deadly Night."
"Horror slasher. Killer Santa. 1984."
The competition was getting surreal. Half the movies they were naming sounded made up, but Iris kept confirming them with her phone like so kind of movie database oracle.
Finally, after what felt like hours but was probably only ten minutes, Vivienne paused too long.
Five seconds. Six. Seven. Eight.
"The... uh..." She looked genuinely panicked for the first ti. "The Snowman?"
"Which Snowman?" Sabrina asked imdiately. "The Raymond Briggs animated short, the horror movie with Michael Keaton, or the 2017 thriller with Michael Fassbender?"
"The... the animated one?"
"That’s only 26 minutes. Traditionally doesn’t count as a feature film."
Vivienne’s face went pale. "But..."
"Tis up," I said. "Sabrina wins."
The breakfast room erupted. Harlow cheered like her favorite team had just won the World Series. Cassidy cursed under her breath in what sounded like three different languages. Vivienne stared at the table like she was trying to figure out where her life had gone wrong.
Sabrina just smiled that quiet, satisfied smile of hers.
"So," she said, looking directly at . "When do we start?"
User Comments
0 comments from readers