Graduation ans Chinese food.
We arrived at a Chinese restaurant in Nampo-dong.
“You all worked hard. Now that all three of you are going up to Seoul, things’ll feel pretty empty around here. Don’t get into trouble once you’re there. I can’t cover for you up there. Got it, all three of you?”
It was Park Hyunseong’s father, Captain Park, who started speaking, and then Myungsoo’s father followed up.
“It’s a relief you boys ca to your senses. Who would’ve thought you’d get into Korea University? And Hyunseong, getting back into athletics and making it into Korea National Sport University. I’m sure you’ll handle things fine on your own, but rember, you’re adults now. From here on out, it’s no longer your parents’ responsibility. You’ve got to take care of yourselves.”
“Yes, sir.”
The dishes we ordered were served. An uninvited guest, Park Dongsu, spoke up loudly.
“Today’s on . Eat up, everyone.”
“······.”
Everyone looked at him in silence.
“Hahaha. No need to look at like that. Captain Park, Mr. Lee, you both know , don’t you? I owe that kid Muhyuk so things, too, so I ca to celebrate. Don’t give that look. Even if I’m just so gangster punk, I try not to cause trouble for regular folks. Isn’t that right, Captain Park? Am I wrong?”
At that, Hyunseong’s father let out a deep sigh.
“Fine. Since you’re already here, we’ll eat. I don’t know what happened between you and Muhyuk, but you two live very different lives. Got that?”
“Aigo! Of course, Captain. Don’t worry. I just see him like a little brother.”
“Mr. Park, I’ll pay.”
“Oh co on, Mr. Lee. I’m paying today.”
While the adults bickered about who would pay, Myungsoo, Hyunseong, and I silently ate our als.
Before long, swept up by the graduation atmosphere, the adults started reminiscing about their childhoods.
Once the mood had ward, Park Dongsu sidled up beside and spoke quietly.
“Damn, I didn’t know Captain Park was here. Shit, that guy’s a reaper for gangsters.”
“Hahaha. Are you seriously scared, mister? That’s disappointing.”
“Hey, hey! To guys like us, cops are the Grim Reaper, and prosecutors are God. Don’t you know that?”
He was whining like a kid.
Amid the fairly cheerful atmosphere, the al ended, and we said our goodbyes.
Park Dongsu followed and Grandma ho.
Once we arrived, I sent Grandma into the house first and stayed behind with him at the playground in front of our ho.
“So why’d you really show up at the graduation?”
“Co on, it was your big day. Of course I had to co. I’ve got sothing to talk about too.”
“What is it?”
He let out a deep sigh.
“Trying to start a company and get sothing going... damn, it’s all so complicated. I’ve got no smart people around , so nothing’s moving forward. Don’t know any sharp guy I can trust?”
“Haven’t you looked for a lawyer?”
“Psh, shit. Those bastards who were all over for criminal cases now act like I’ve got the plague. Makes want to beat the hell out of them. You know how it is—when you’re always operating in that gray area between legal and illegal, you need soone you can trust with your life.”
Fair. Who’d want to work as a lawyer cleaning up after gangsters if it’s not for a big firm?
Then soone ca to mind.
“Try looking up soone nad Lee Sanggeun near Busan Station. He’s a lawyer. If you pay him enough, he’ll do anything.”
“Lee Sanggeun?”
“Yeah. Bit of a strange guy, but he’s trustworthy. Can probably fight better than most gangsters too. He’s not that famous yet, but he will be later. So get him now while he’s cheap. He’ll be a huge help down the line.”
“Yeah?”
Seeing that he seed genuinely intrigued, I gave a small nod.
“He’s got a pretty unusual background. I think he used to be a cop before passing the bar. Anyway, go check him out.”
“Damn, see? Ask the kid and you get a damn answer right away. That’s why I can’t help coming back to you. Right?”
Park Dongsu grinned.
“Whew... Mister, once I move to Seoul, don’t co visiting like this anymore. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Lee Sanggeun, huh...”
He repeated the na a few tis under his breath.
I stood up, ready to end the conversation.
“What, leaving already?”
“We’re done talking, aren’t we?”
“Damn, you cold bastard. Got no feelings, huh.”
“I’ll leave my number when I get to Seoul. Contact there. But seriously—only if you absolutely can’t handle sothing on your own. Don’t call just to say hi.”
“Really? I can’t even just call?”
“······Are we dating or sothing?”
He better not be thinking that.
No way, right?
Seeing my face, Park Dongsu burst out laughing.
“Bwahahaha! Funny bastard. Got it. Take care in Seoul. Once I take over Busan, I’ll give you a ring. Oh—and seriously, no drugs, okay?”
“Yeah, don’t touch drugs. If you ignore what I’m saying and get into drug dealing or smuggling... that’s the end of us.”
“Oof~ You’re scarier than , and I’m the gangster. Don’t worry. But I’m not sure my guys below will listen.”
“That’s your problem. Anyway, I’m going in. Grandma’s waiting.”
I turned my back without waiting for a response.
Behind , he said,
“Cold-hearted little bastard, but dotes on his grandma like nothing else. Go on in. Once you’re in Seoul, I’ll make sure nobody weird gets near her.”
Before I stepped through the front door, I waved back toward him.
The day before I left for Seoul.
Grandma and I sat face to face in the living room.
“Grandma, I’ll visit often. Every break, every weekend I can, I’ll co down.”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to wear yourself out coming back all the ti. Just co for the holidays and breaks.”
“But I want to see you.”
“My baby. You’ve grown up so well. When did that little boy get so big?”
A childhood mory surfaced.
My first mory was...
“Grandma, I miss Mom and Dad! Why don’t I have a mom and dad?”
“······They’re just busy, baby. Want sothing to eat?”
“Waaaah! Mom! Dad!”
Grandma, wiping her own tears as she tried to soothe my crying.
Then another.
“Grandma, all the other kids co to school holding hands with their mom and dad. Why don’t I have anyone?”
“······You have Grandma.”
“But still. I miss them.”
And another.
“Muhyuk! My baby Muhyuk!”
“Hey, Grandma, look at my son’s face! What the hell did you let happen? What’re you going to do about this?!”
“I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“What, is this because he grew up without parents? Teach your grandson so proper manners, will you?”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
No one ever listened to my side.
The teachers always scolded and Grandma.
I didn’t understand, as a kid.
On the way ho.
“Grandma, did I do sothing wrong?”
“No, baby. You didn’t do anything wrong. But no matter how much you hate soone, you can’t hit them, okay?”
“But he teased first! Said I didn’t have a mom and dad!”
“······I’m sorry, Muhyuk.”
That’s when it all started. When I began going off the rails.
“Muhyuk, Muhyuk, don’t do this. What happened to my sweet boy...”
“You think I wanted to end up ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) like this? Why are you always the one apologizing to others? Just because I don’t have parents? I beat those brats because they called a bastard and a beggar! And those damn teachers always bringing up the parent association fees in front of the whole class. I was just trying to survive.”
“Muhyuk... I’m sorry.”
“Enough! Stop saying you’re sorry!”
That was the first ti I ran away from ho.
It was only for three days, but until I ca back, Grandma searched the neighborhood like a madwoman.
By then, no one at school dared ss with anymore.
No one called an orphan. No one called a beggar.
If I didn’t like soone, I fought them. And fought again.
They started calling a mad dog.
Even in middle school, no one talked to —except a few at first.
So tried to pick fights to see who the toughest kid was, but after a few brutal beatdowns, no one ca near again.
That’s when I t Myungsoo.
A tiny kid, always ranked first or second shortest in class. But from the way he dressed and the money he carried, he was clearly from a wealthy family.
“You’re Muhyuk, right? I’m Myungsoo. Let’s be friends.”
I thought he was nuts and ignored him.
Maybe he thought he could use to make school life easier. When I ignored him, he beca the new target for the bullies.
They took his money, beat him up often.
One day, while I had my head down on the desk, I was woken by a commotion.
“Hey, shrimp. Is this all you’ve got?”
“Uh? S-sorry. I can’t get more... just this once, please...”
“Look at this punk. Not scared of us, huh?”
“······.”
“If you don’t pay, I feel like hitting you. Isn’t that right?”
“······I’ll bring more tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow’s tomorrow. Today is today.”
His sobbing plea to stop... overlapped with my younger self, begging bullies to stop calling an orphan.
“Cut it out. You’re loud.”
The bullies in the back turned to .
“What did you say?”
“Are your ears clogged? I said cut it out. It’s loud. This ain’t even your classroom, so why the hell are you always in here starting shit? I’m trying to sleep. Get lost.”
“Are you nuts? You wanna die?”
“Hey, leave him. He’s the crazy dog. What do you gain from ssing with him? Let’s just go. He said he’d bring the money tomorrow.”
There’s always that one punk who doesn’t know when to quit.
“Let go! Bastard’s asking for it. Hey! Kim Muhyuk. You think we leave you alone because we’re scared? We let you be because you’re quiet. And now you tell us to get lost? You wanna die, huh?”
“Don’t care what you think of . Go play gangster in your own classroom. Didn’t I tell you to get the hell out?”
That day, I fought the top dog of the school. Got beat bad and went down.
But the next day, and the day after that, I kept going after them like a mad dog.
One by one. Sotis two at a ti. Even ten.
Sotis I won. Sotis I lost.
Eventually, even the bullies gave up.
“Man, let’s just stop. We were wrong.”
“Don’t touch anyone in my class. Got it? And dammit, you punks never fight one-on-one. Always ganging up. That’s why you’re nothing but thugs.”
Every ti I ca ho covered in bruises, Grandma cried.
I hated seeing that more than anything.
After that, it was always the three of us—, Myungsoo, and Hyunseong, who transferred in later. We caused trouble together. Fought kids who picked fights. Got hauled into the police station a few tis.
And then... because of always running wild, Grandma ended up dying suddenly, without warning.
I couldn’t do anything. And I lost the only family I had left.
At so point, my vision blurred. I blinked.
I saw Grandma’s face, holding my hand tightly.
Grandma is alive.
My Grandma who only ever thought of .
Who hurt more than I did when her son died.
Who had no ti to grieve, because I was still there.
“I love you, Grandma.”
That night, I fell asleep in her arms.
For the first ti in a long ti, I slept soundly, without a single worry.
The next morning.
When I woke up, Grandma had cooked so much food the table was overflowing.
“Why’d you make so much?”
“My baby’s going to Seoul now. I won’t be able to cook for you anymore. I made all your favorites. Eat a lot.”
“Okay.”
Before long, a car from Pyeongchang-dong arrived outside the house.
With the engine running, I hugged Grandma.
“I’ll co visit a lot.”
“Go on now.”
“I’ll call often.”
“Okay, okay.”
Grandma stroked my back.
“Grandma, eat well, okay?”
“Okay. You eat well too.”
“Yeah.”
Myungsoo and Hyunseong arrived, ready to go to Seoul with .
“Grandma! I’ll co with Muhyuk next ti. Stay healthy!”
“Grandma, take care of yourself.”
As we got in and the car slowly pulled away,
Grandma stood in the doorway, watching us for a long, long ti.
< I Love You, Grandma. > The End.
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