On the screen, Parish was clapping. Not the restrained, professional applause of a chairman maintaining decorum.
The genuine, slightly overwheld clapping of a man who had bought Crystal Palace from administration and was now watching his club drawn against AC Milan in the knockout rounds of a European competition. Dougie beside him was typing on his phone. Probably texting . I checked. He was.
Dougie: "Milan. I’ve already started on the logistics. Flights, hotels, stadium access. We’ll need at least 3,000 tickets for the away leg. This is going to be sothing, Danny."
I looked at the room. Thirty-five faces. The players who would play the match. The coaches who would prepare for it. The analysts who would dissect Milan’s system. The physios who would keep the bodies ready.
The kit man who would pack the bags. The groundsman who would prepare the Selhurst pitch for the first leg. The receptionist who would answer the phone when the dia called, and they would call, because Crystal Palace vs. AC Milan was the kind of fixture that made football journalists believe in stories again.
"First leg at Selhurst Park," I said. "February fifteenth. Second leg at the San Siro, February twenty-second." I looked at Sakho. "You’ll get your wish, Mamadou."
Sakho said nothing. He just nodded. The nod of a man whose childhood dream had been confird by a UEFA official opening a ball in Switzerland, and who was not going to diminish the mont with words.
Tomás’s cara, positioned in the corner of the room, had captured every reaction. Sakho’s stillness. Konaté’s wide eyes. Zaha’s grin. Dann’s quiet declaration. Kovačić’s assessnt. Sarah’s phone. Bray’s notepad. Parish’s clapping. And Danny Walsh, standing at the front, looking at his squad, his face showing nothing to the cara but showing everything to the people in the room.
Elena, reviewing the footage that afternoon, said to Ruth: "That’s the cold open of episode two. No context. No narration. Just the draw, the na, and the faces."
I drove ho through South London. The January evening was dark and cold, the streetlights on Lordship Lane casting long pools of orange on the pavent. The radio was playing the draw coverage.
The presenter was talking about Palace vs. Milan with the breathless enthusiasm of soone who understood that this fixture was the story of the round, the David-and-Goliath match that every neutral would watch, the tie that justified the existence of the Europa League as a competition where miracles were still possible.
I turned the radio off. The silence was better. The silence let think about what was coming. February. Milan. The San Siro. And before that, the second leg against Arsenal at the Emirates. And before that, the Premier League matches that would keep us in the race. And before that, tonight. Emma. Ho.
The penthouse was warm. The lights were low, the way Emma left them when she was working in the evening, the main room lit by the floor lamp beside the sofa and the glow of her laptop screen.
Music was playing, sothing acoustic and French that she had discovered on a playlist and had been listening to on repeat for three days because Emma’s relationship with music was the sa as her relationship with everything else: total commitnt until she was finished, then absolute silence until the next obsession arrived.
She was at the dining table. Her laptop open, her notebook beside it, three coloured pens arranged in a row, her phone propped against a stack of books. She was wearing an oversized cream jumper that fell off one shoulder, her red hair pulled up in a loose knot, a few strands escaping down her neck.
Her reading glasses were on, the tortoiseshell fras that she wore only when she was working and that made her look like a university lecturer who had accidentally wandered into a fashion campaign. Her feet were bare, her legs tucked beneath her on the chair, a mug of tea beside her laptop, half-finished, forgotten.
She was preparing her podcast.
The first episode of The Terrace was scheduled for January 15th. Four days away. The dining table was her production desk: research notes, interview transcripts, a printed schedule from
The Athletic’s podcast team, and a handwritten list of topics in her precise, slanted handwriting that included "Fan culture and identity," "The transformation of a South London club," and, underlined twice, "What does belonging an in football?"
She didn’t hear co in. I stood in the doorway for a mont and watched her work. The concentration on her face. The way she chewed the end of her pen when she was thinking.
The way her free hand moved across the notebook, underlining a phrase, circling a word, drawing an arrow to connect two ideas. She was building sothing. Not for . Not for the club. For herself. The podcast was hers. The docuntary was mine. The apartnt was ours. The boundaries she had set in December, holding.
I took one step into the room. The floorboard creaked. She looked up.
The expression that crossed her face was not the composed, asured expression of a woman who had been expecting her partner to co ho.
It was the unguarded expression of a woman who had been so deep in her work that she had forgotten another person existed, and who was now rembering, all at once, that the person she loved was standing in the doorway of their ho after winning a cup semi-final and being drawn against AC Milan in the Europa League.
She stood up. The jumper shifted. The reading glasses ca off. She crossed the room in four steps, put both hands on my face, and kissed .
Not the greeting kiss. Not the well-done kiss. The kiss that ca from nowhere and ant everything. Her hands warm on my jaw, her mouth finding mine, the taste of tea and the faint sll of the perfu she had put on that morning and that was still there, twelve hours later, in the hollow of her neck. She kissed the way she did everything: with total commitnt, without reservation, without any interest in performing the emotion when she could simply feel it.
"I missed you," she said against my lips. "And congratulations. Dann’s goal. I scread so loud the neighbours knocked on the wall."
"Which neighbours?"
"The ones on the left. The banker and his wife. He sent a text afterwards asking if everything was okay. I sent him the match highlights."
I laughed. She pulled back and looked at , her hands still on my face, her green eyes bright, the lamplight catching the loose strands of red hair at her temple.
"AC Milan," she said.
"You heard."
"I watched the draw on my phone while I was editing my episode outline. I saw Parish clapping. I saw Dougie typing. And I saw the na co up on the screen and I put my phone down and said ’bloody hell’ out loud to an empty apartnt."
"That about sums it up."
"The San Siro, Danny. You’re going to the San Siro."
"We’re going to the San Siro."
"I’m not going to the San Siro. I’m launching a podcast. I have work."
"You’re coming to the San Siro."
"We’ll discuss it." She kissed again, shorter this ti, then walked back to the table and sat down, pulling her legs beneath her, the jumper settling, the glasses going back on. The transition from girlfriend to professional was seamless, the sa woman in both roles, the warmth and the focus coexisting without conflict.
"Tell about the match," she said, picking up her pen. "Not the manager version. The Danny version."
I told her. Not the tactical analysis. The human version. Benteke’s miss and Abraham sitting beside him afterwards. Kovačić was turning Xhaka and the Holsdale stirring. Pope’s save from Özil’s shot that hit the post, the crack that silenced the ground. Dann’s run. The header. The sound.
"And the caras?" she asked.
"I forgot they were there."
"Good. That’s when the best footage happens." She looked at over her glasses. "The podcast pilot is finished. First episode records on Monday. Launches the fifteenth. I’m doing it on the Palace transformation. Fan voices. Club identity. The before and after."
"Am I in it?"
"Episode three. You’re a guest. Non-negotiable."
"What if I say no?"
"Then I interview Frankie instead and he tells the world about the ti you tried to give a tactical briefing in the Railway Arms and the centre-forward fell asleep."
"I’ll do episode three."
"Smart man."
She went back to her work. I went to the kitchen and made tea. Two cups. Hers with milk and one sugar, the way she had always taken it. Mine black, the way I had always taken it.
I brought both cups to the table and sat across from her, the podcast notes between us, the Milan draw still echoing in my chest, the sound of Selhurst Park still in my ears, the woman I loved preparing to build sothing of her own while I processed the fact that Crystal Palace Football Club was about to play AC Milan.
The tea cooled. The music played. Emma worked. I sat and watched and thought about the San Siro and the Emirates and the second half of the season that was accelerating faster than any of us could control.
And in the quiet of the Dulwich penthouse, with the city dark outside and the lamplight warm and the woman across the table chewing her pen and underlining phrases, the boy from Moss Side allowed himself, for one evening, to stop being a manager and simply be a man who had co ho.
[Europa League Round of 32 Draw: Crystal Palace vs. AC Milan.]
[First leg: Selhurst Park, February 15th. Second leg: San Siro, February 22nd.]
[Squad reaction: Sakho ("I want to play at the San Siro"), Kovačić ("We can beat them"), Dann ("We belong here"), Zaha ("Milan at Selhurst. Under the lights.")]
[Carabao Cup semi-final: Palace lead Arsenal 1-0. Second leg: Emirates, January 24th. Eze to start.]
[Emma Hartley: "The Terrace" first episode records January 14th. Launches January 15th. Danny is episode three guest. Non-negotiable.]
[Netflix: Elena filming the draw reactions. "That’s the cold open of episode two."]
[Crystal Palace vs. AC Milan. The sentence that would have been a joke twelve months ago is now a reality.]
***
Thank you to Sir nayelus for the support.
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