Mom watches TV dramas online, and every episode starts with a long comrcial, so she takes out a little notebook and writes things down. I asked her, "Why are you writing down the comrcials?"
Mom: "I need to rember which products are wasting my ti watching dramas, so I won't buy them in the future!"
I...
2. Today, I joked with my mom, "If I get married and have kids next year, will you help take care of the child?"
Mom straight-out said, "Did you help take care of you when I had a kid? Why should I help you?"
Uh, I...
3. : "Dad, you should learn to use WeChat Pay."
Dad: "Why bother learning that? I find spending money just fine the way I do."
: "This way, when I transfer money to you, you can spend it however you like without asking mom."
Dad rushed over with his phone and said, "Quick, tell how to use this!"
4. Ran into my dad's first love, and mom was very jealous and said to , "Your dad almost married that lady."
Curiously, I asked, "Why didn't he marry her?"
Mom said, "He went to buy her a ring but realized her fingers were too thick and wasted gold, mine were slim, so he married ."
I...
5. The mont my wife starts talking, I can tell how our daughter did in kindergarten.
If my wife starts with, "Our daughter this and that," it ans our daughter did sothing impressive!
But if it starts with "Your daughter..." no need to ask, our daughter did sothing wrong again!
1. "Why do characters in movies and stories always forgive their enemies?"
"Very simple, the author makes that decision for them."
2. "Why do so people always like to say 'win-win'?"
"It ans there's not much money for you."
3. What is happiness?
Happiness is Labor Day, without labor!
What is unhappiness?
Unhappiness is after Labor Day, and you can't find work!
4. I asked a High Monk: "A fishing rod or a basket of fish, which do you choose?"
The High Monk said: "I want a fishing rod."
I smiled and said, "I get it. Teaching a man to fish is better than giving him fish. Once you eat the fish, it's gone, but with a fishing rod, you can fish for a lifeti! Is that the principle?"
The High Monk said, "Buddhist monks are vegetarians, why would you give a basket of fish?"
I asked, "Then why do you want a fishing rod?"
The High Monk said, "To beat you with it, you idiot. Stop asking dumb questions!"
5. "I read the news that if you like pandas, although adopting them is impossible, you can sponsor them. You just regularly send money and food to the zoo, then the funds are used on your sponsored panda, and the food you send is given to it. You're its nominal guardian and can visit it regularly. I honestly think this thod is amazing, warm, environntally friendly, and loving."
"Do you also want to sponsor one?"
"No, what I an is, if everyone is willing, I'm also open to being sponsored."
1. The adaptability and compatibility of the human body are strong, for example: gas, liquids, solids, semi-liquids, and semi-solids can all be expelled from your rear end.
2. Today, I encountered a very philosophical doctor, who told : There's no such thing as having a long foreskin, it's just that your little buddy hasn't grown to its full length.
3. Last night, dad drank a little too much, and I saw him using sothing to pick his teeth exaggeratedly and coarsely. I asked him what he was using to pick his teeth?
He said he couldn't find a toothpick, so he was using a fishbone!
I said: We didn't have fish tonight!
Then I heard a slight clicking sound, and when I looked over, I saw mom trimming her toenails...
4. The little dung beetle asked dad: "Just now mom told to practice flying more when I have ti, but we can't fly high at all!"
Dad: "You fool! She ant learning how to roll dung! (熬翔 ans to cook or brew, and 翱翔 ans to fly high)"
5. On a business trip with a female colleague, chatting with her while driving.
: "The person who took your first ti, how is he now?"
She shyly smiled, "He's doing great! I apply hand cream every day..."
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