Ryu raised a weak hand and caressed Hope's cheek.
These sorts of feelings had truly settled in for him after he saw his past lives.
He knew he wasn't special. Given a different set of circumstances in life, he might be at the bottom of a barrel somewhere, despairing just as much as Hope or cowering just as much as Sarriel.
What he did know was that this version of himself… the version that could look down on the world and dauntlessly stare into the face of death was the version of himself he wanted to be.
But that didn't change the fact that he could have easily been different.
And yet, even that was more plicated than it seemed.
He had had almost three decades of secluded meditation. Most of that time seemed to have been spent calculating out his Body Realm Cultivation Method, but only he knew how much of that time had been idle, running experiments, testing how the flow of different elemental qis worked and how they vibed with his Vital qi… so on and so forth…
It had also allowed him a lot of time to calm down and a lot of time to think. During that time, Ryu thought back to the trial of the Phoenix Sky God.
It was the one reincarnation that he experienced that he could fully remember even without the aid of the Dream Wraiths.
It was funny… the reason he thought of it to begin with was as a vain attempt at debunking the idea that he wasn't unique and special. After all, in that life, born to the Tor Clan, he was in a pletely different environment than he was in the Tatsuya Clan. Logically, he should have bee a different man.
But why was the little Ryu of then of the same make and build as he had been as a Scion of the Tatsuya Clan? That should prove that he was special, no?
Even while being suppressed by his own elders, his own father and mother, he had managed to display his intelligence, and he was staunch in his arrogance. That seemed to contradict everything that he had e to learn from his reincarnations…
But was that the case?
Wasn't he only able to display his intelligence because… he had intelligence in the first place? His ability to cultivate was still gone, but he still had his eyes despite the fact his eyelids had been forcefully sealed shut. Beyond that, his Bone Structure was still the Ice Jade Crystal Body, so it would still be able to mutate his brain folds and make him smarter than most.
On top of that, wasn't the Tor Clan the equivalent of what the Tatsuya Clan was to the Shrine Plane to the Higher Mortal Plane?
He had been given pretty much the same gifts and the same opportunities. Ironically, if it wasn't for the fact his Clan had e to hate him, he would have ended up in the same cycle he had in the Tatsuya Clan, hating everything around him because the Heavens wouldn't allow him to cultivate.
It had to be remembered that in order to pass the Phoenix Sky God Trial, Ryu had to break free of his mental restraints. Even if his "father," Emperor Tor, hadn't tampered with his Awakening Ceremony, he would have still failed it without this awakening.
When Ryu realized all of this, everything came back full circle.
Once again, his environment had dictated how he changed and what kind of person he became.
It was almost a sick joke…
And it was something that made him sympathize with Hope all the more.
They had had ten years in the black hole together, and many more years outside of that. He had learned so much about her, he had heard her voice more times than he could count, been forced to withstand her little woman antics…
He was certain that she was a woman who deserved to be by his side. She had fought through so much, and unlike his circumstances, she was even more unlucky.
How far did a woman of Hope's caliber have to be pushed to force herself to have the child of a man she hadn't even known all that well back then?
Should he look down on her for not having enough pride? For not being stupid enough to act against the Will of the Heavens as though it was something she could truly fight on her own?
Did he even have such a right?
Hope tried to open her mouth to speak, but only sobs came out. Her chest rattled with guilt as she held Ryu's hand to her cheek.
She didn't even know why she had said something so stupid. She didn't want to put Ryu into such a position, but she just couldn't help the emotions she was feeling.
"No, no, no, no…"
She kept saying the word over and over again, faster and faster as though she was afraid Ryu would do something stupid.
Ryu couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter. Little woman antics, indeed.
"Don't laugh at me! And don't say something so bad again!"
"Bad?" Ryu said with a weak smile. "I meant every word."
"Don't say that!" Hope hurriedly covered his mouth. "I do not want my sister wives to hate me. I still have to ingratiate myself with Sister Isemeine and Big Sister Eska properly. Don't ruin this for me!"
Ryu was suddenly speechless. Why did it sound like he was getting pushed to the side?
Still, his thoughts couldn't help but drift off as Hope continued to sputter words somewhat quickly and part incoherently.
He had just put something together that he couldn't put together before because he hadn't known it at the same…
But wasn't the reason he was ostracized by the Tor Kingdom because he looked like a "White Devil"? And wasn't he now suddenly an Ancestor of these "White Devils," aka the Zu Clan? And…
Wasn't the hatred of the Tor Kingdom the difference he needed to break through his mental constraints and earn the White Phoenix Spiritual Foundation?
In that case… could it be his future self set all of this up?
'It's impossible. I can't be the Phoenix Sky God… can I?'
Ryu was confused once more… because his Title was certainly not Phoenix.
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