Jiang Zhiyao was probably around four years old when she found out she had a brother.
At that ti, she couldn't understand what the word "brother" ant. All she knew was that one more person was living in the house, and her room was going to get smaller.
Back then, neither she nor he understood that they were siblings. At most, they were just strangers under the sa roof.
And so, they grew up without ever building a relationship.
Jiang Zhiyao truly realized the weight of the word "brother" during a sumr vacation when she was ten years old.
The day before school was about to start, she discovered sothing that made her panic like never before.
Her sumr howork had gone missing.
For a young girl like her, this was no different from the sky falling down.
She didn't dare tell her parents, afraid of getting scolded. But she also had no idea what to do, so she could only sniffle quietly, forcing herself not to cry.
"What are you doing?"
Just then, her brother held up an electric fan and pointed it straight at her, blowing her hair all over the place and making it impossible for her tears to fall properly.
"None of your business."
She hated him. She felt like he was completely different from her. Even if the sky really did fall, he'd just shrug it off without a care.
"Ha! Don't tell you didn't finish your sumr howork!"
He laughed loudly, like he was mocking her.
Jiang Zhiyao couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst out crying. And then she saw that brother of hers, who usually feared nothing, suddenly panic like crazy.
Even though the fan was still blowing, sweat kept pouring down his forehead.
"Don't cry, don't cry! I didn't an anything by it! If sothing's wrong, just tell !"
He desperately tried to calm her down, so she forced herself to stop crying.
They just sat there like that for a long ti, until she finally sniffled and said:
"I lost my sumr howork."
He looked dumbfounded, but also kind of relieved:
"Is that all? Just take mine."
"No. Mom and Dad said that's what bad kids do."
"You definitely don't dare tell the teacher the truth either. I'm the bad kid, not you. What are you afraid of?"
He was like he could read her mind, seeing right through her.
"Then... then what about you?"
"A brother doesn't need his little sister worrying about him!"
He said it with such pride, forcefully shoving his sumr howork into her hands.
On the first day of school, her parents got called in by the teacher. Because Jiang Linyuan hadn't turned in a single sumr howork book.
When he got ho, he was scolded for sure. But he was still grinning, not bothered at all, like he'd done sothing to be proud of.
She felt guilty but didn't dare confess to her parents.
That night, though, she tugged at his sleeve and whispered:
"I'm sorry."
"Brother."
That was probably the first ti she'd ever called him that. He seed frozen for a few seconds too, then broke into a smile at her:
"So you finally rember I'm your brother."
"From now on, if anything happens, just co to !"
She stared at him without blinking, thinking to herself.
So this is what a brother is?
After that, their interactions slowly increased. It was like they were becoming real siblings.
But then she started getting bothered by sothing else. Every New Year, when relatives and friends ca over, they'd all praise her brother, while she felt like just an afterthought.
It made sense. Her brother was good with words, easygoing, and naturally good at winning people over.
But she still cared about it.
"Brother, I want to be like you."
One day, she said that.
"Why?"
He asked.
"Because I want adults to like too!"
She said it very seriously.
"I don't think that ans anything."
"Just do it first."
When he went to play soccer, she'd tag along. When he read comics, she'd squat beside him and read too. When he flew kites, she'd learn along with him...
But a long ti passed, and she didn't learn anything. She had fun, sure, but deep down she was still a little frustrated.
Why couldn't she beco soone like him?
"Mom and Dad say you've turned into my little shadow now. You'll never grow up like that."
While flying a kite, he pulled the string casually and said it without much thought.
"I'm the sa age as you!"
She yanked the kite defiantly, running behind him.
But then she accidentally tripped over a rock, face-planting into the dirt. She lost her grip on the string, and the kite flew away.
"It hurts... the kite... it's gone."
She was crying. Partly because it hurt, partly because the kite she'd picked to match his was gone.
"Hold this."
Her brother handed her his own kite string, then crouched down to look at her scraped knee.
"Does it hurt?"
"It hurts."
"Why do you keep chasing after ?"
"Because..."
Her face flushed red, but she couldn't say a word. She didn't even know why.
"It's not good to copy everything I do."
"But I want adults to praise too."
"That kind of praise is pointless."
Her brother crouched down and hoisted her onto his back.
"? Honestly, having my little sister's praise is enough. You don't need to copy ."
"You're fine just the way you are. In my heart, you'll always be one of a kind."
She looked at his face, wobbling as she held the kite string, occasionally bumping into his head.
"Then I won't copy you anymore."
"Forget about copying. Let's go find Mom and Dad to clean up your scrape first."
"Mm. It doesn't hurt anymore. Let's fly the kite a little longer."
"Want to carry you while we do it?"
"Mm. Don't you like it?"
"This is actually pretty fun."
She pressed her face against his back and suddenly called out:
"Brother."
"What?"
"You're supposed to say 'I'm here.'"
"Oh."
"Brother."
"I'm here."
...
How long had it been? Jiang Zhiyao suddenly found herself missing the old days with Jiang Linyuan.
Back then, his world was only her, and hers was only him.
If I could just throw away these mories, it would be so much easier. I've always known that.
If I don't force myself to let go, I'll just run into bitterness and pain.
Jiang Zhiyao had experienced enough of that.
Watching him get closer and closer to those girls, using her "little sister" status to throw a tantrum, only to realize in the end that everything she did was so weak and pathetic.
Yu Songsong, Su Muzhi, and that vague departnt head, Lin Yilin.
So many people liked him. She could never stop them.
She didn't have the right. Or the courage.
Staring at her phone screen with no reply from Jiang Linyuan, she shut it off.
The feeling she thought she'd forgotten, the one she'd buried away, ca back.
Just like when she was a kid flying kites. The little girl running on the ground tripped, and suddenly her hand felt so light...
When she looked up, she realized the kite string had snapped.
The girl sitting on the ground, looking up at the sky, had nothing but confusion and helplessness on her face.
This ti, no one carried her on their back.
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