Maisie
"We arrived too late to save your father, but just in ti to reach you. Matilda, the mother you knew, she was strong, but she was dying. We had to keep you safe. Hidden. Because we knew they would return," said Soren.
I had heard this part of the story before, from Kisten. "So you went to Alpha Dante. And made the help."
I couldn’t keep the bite out of my voice, even as Soren nodded. I had in my hand pieces of a story I didn’t know what to do with. I didn’t know how to even feel. My entire life had been deconstructed in minutes.
But I felt the anger in my gut as I recalled the mory. My father bleeding out in the kitchen tiles. How could I have forgotten such a thing?
The thought clanged in my heart and my gaze snapped to Soren’s. "You did sothing to , didn’t you?"
"I did," rcer said, his eyes haunted. "What you witnessed wasn’t sothing any twelve year old should. We feared it would break you."
My nostrils flared. "You had no right to make that decision for . You went into my head and erased an important part of my life and replaced it with a lie—"
I halted. For the longest ti, I didn’t know why that particular mory was cloudy. I felt terrible when I couldn’t place the images to the mory, but I had tagged it as trauma. "Doctors," I whispered. "The doctors said Dad was sick. There were no doctors, were they? And... and the funeral?"
Silence fell in the living room.
Oh god.
"And mom?" I croaked. "When did she die?"
Why couldn’t I rember it?
Quinlan suddenly took a careful step towards . "A few hours after Richter did. She got Lana out, but didn’t make it back to get you out—fuck, Adams, you need to breathe—"
"Don’t touch !" I snapped, shooting to my feet so fast, the couch scraped behind and slamd into the wall.
My mind was my own. It was all I had that was every truly mine. And now, being told that the world I lived in wasn’t real, and had been placed there—my mind had been tampered with—it was too much.
What was real? What wasn’t? My heart squeezed painfully. My heart seized painfully. Tears spilled down my face before I could stop them. "You had... no right... to take that from ..." I said between gasps.
Jericho moved toward , then stopped when I backed away again. "No, we didn’t. But your father was dead. Your mother was dead. You were drugged by those bastards. You were screaming," his voice was laced with the sa anguish that was reflected on their faces. "You were twelve, malyshka."
"That doesn’t make it right!" I shouted, voice raw and cracked.
My hands curled into fists at my sides. "And what about after? The years after? How could you keep that from ? How could you look in the eye and hold all of this while I lived like so idiot in a story you created?!"
My gaze cut to Soren. "Was that how much you despised ?" I spat. "That you could know all of this and still treat the way you did?"
Soren’s jaw tightened. "We had to keep our distance. If my aunt ever caught wind of you, whose child you were, there was nothing that would’ve stopped her from killing you. I’m not the only one who bears resentnt and vengeance towards your biological mother. And that is not even the start of it. There was no involvent, no entanglent we could have had with you that wouldn’t end with you in danger. We didn’t enjoy it. We had to. Do you have any idea how much—" He broke off. "Your rage is justified, Adams, but know that your life has always matters more to us than how much you hate us, and—"
"Let guess," I said, each word laced with bitterness. "It was the only way to save my life? And given the circumstances, you would all do it again?"
No one answered. They didn’t have to. It was there in their unrepentant gazes.
My pulse roared in my ears and a hoarse laugh slipped out of . "What else will you take from in the future to ’keep safe’?" My voice rose again, ragged now. "My mories? My choices? My agency? Or will you give lies? More lies? God, the lies. am so tired of them. I suppose sleeping with Tessa was another one of your sacrifices."
Soren flinched, as did rcer. Jericho’s eyes hardened. Quinlan’s nostrils flared. The latter said, "You don’t know half of it."
"I don’t care what your reasons are," I said, my whole body shaking. "I don’t care that you thought you were protecting . You decided to leave in the dark, until it best suited your plans. You dismissed . You insulted . You knew who I was. What I was. And you reminded everyday, in more ways than one, that I ant nothing."
rcer’s hand flexed at his side, like he wanted to reach for and knew better.
My throat burned. "You could have found another way," I said. "You could have told the truth. You could have treated like a person instead of a problem to be managed. Instead, you chose to manipulate . You decided what I should rember. What I should feel. Who I should love. And now, you have made permanently bound to you. But at what point since I t you have any of you ever asked what I wanted?"
More silence. The air in the living area had turned oppressive and I realized I was projecting a violent aura.
Good. Let them feel it.
"You let grow attached to you, just so you could cut open. And you laughed while doing it. You care more about my life than how I feel about you? Fine. Then this shouldn’t be a problem."
I squared my chin and my voice was surprisingly steady as I said, "I want a divorce."
They paused.
Sothing rattled down the bond. Sothing violent.
And for the first ti since this conversation began, I felt like I had taken sothing back.
My choice.
"Maybe the bond is unbreakable. And I am tied to you now for good." My fingers curled into fists. "But I will not be your wife. Or your whore."
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