Chapter 127 – Parenting Your Parents
Lux didn’t let it linger. He dunked under again, rinsing off the last traces of battle gri, blood, holy residue, and stress. His muscles were loose now, the tension unwinding in slow, sleepy spirals as the bath drained.
Steam still curled around him in lazy coils, and his skin glowed faintly from the artifact absorption earlier—just enough to look like a walking divine offense.
He stepped out with the confidence of a man who’d survived judgnt day twice this week and still looked good doing it. Towel slung low around his hips, hair dripping, aura smug.
And he humd.
Really humd.
Like so lazy mortal vacationer getting ready for a beachside brunch with too many mimosas.
The tune was off-key, sothing old and stupid from an ad he probably saw during a banking conference. But it felt good. Stupidly good.
He padded across the penthouse suite, towel dragging slightly across the warm floor tiles, fingers running through wet hair.
Then it happened.
[System Notification: Incoming Ergency – Hell Finance Departnt]
[Severity: Moderate to Annoyingly Stupid]
[Issue: Treasury Node 7-B flagged for unethical allocation.]
[Warning: At least three succubus accountants have filed reports. Lord Greed’s na has been stamped on unauthorized pleasure-resort expenditures.]
Lux paused mid-step.
He blinked. Sighed through his nose.
"Yeah," he muttered dryly. "Day three... and I already got a warning."
He looked up at the ceiling like the heavens might sympathize.
"This is what mortals call parenting your parents."
He tugged the towel tighter around his waist, marched to the bed and flicked his fingers through the air. Light shimred, and his system interface unfolded in elegant UI design—gold on black, scrolling script like cursed silk.
Corvus cackled softly from the towel rack behind him. "Ah, the sweet scent of legacy finance disasters."
"Shush," Lux said without looking.
[Display All Hell Treasury Violations – Filter: Past 24 Hours]
Rows of transactions flared into view. Color-coded. Categorized. A headache wrapped in infernal formatting.
Lux scanned the list quickly. "Pleasure-resort expenses... node flagged... unauthorized entertainnt taxes filed under ’retreat for taphysical recalibration’?"
[Your father has manually approved the charges by stamping his ring on a blank ledger page.]
"Of course he did," Lux muttered, rubbing his temple.
He zood in on the flagged section, noticed that two hellhounds were registered as ’entertainnt consultants’ and one minor demon had been paid in rare soul coins for "emotional support during vigorous activities."
Corvus squawked. "Vigorous activities?"
Lux rolled his eyes. "Sex. It ans sex. Everything always ans sex."
He hit three command icons in quick succession.
[Action: Revoke Expenditure Rights from Lord Greed (Temporarily)]
[Action: Redirect treasury node control to Deputy Argon and Succubanker Tira (Temporarily)]
[Action Confird. Departnt Stabilizing. Estimated Recovery Ti: 6 Hours.]
"There," Lux said. "Crisis averted." Tira and Argon were his servants. They had pledged their loyalty to him and he bound them.
Corvus tilted his head. "Think your dad’s gonna notice?"
Lux shrugged. "He’s either passed out or still tangled with my mom. Either way, he won’t notice this. I revoke his rights temporarily. No need for drama."
He leaned back from the hovering screen, letting it dissolve mid-air.
"That’s what happens when you have too much sex and forget what you’re supposed to do."
Corvus let out a dry whistle. "Should we file an infernal neglect report?"
"No. That’s a Tuesday thing."
He turned and walked toward the changing room, towel still wrapped low and proud. The lights adjusted automatically as he entered, dimming into soft golds and smoky shadows—like a lazy spotlight waiting for him to start a one-man fashion show.
Rows of branded paper bags lined the velvet bench, fresh from the highest-end boutiques in the mortal realm. Designer tags still clung to the sleeves like nervous interns. Lux had gone full mortal-style this ti—no enchanted collars, no demon-threaded cloaks, no runic embroidery humming with latent power. Just pure, high-tier fashion stitched by human hands with too much ego and not enough sleep.
He flicked his fingers, conjuring a gentle fla to dry himself off, steam curling from his skin like he was filming the climax of a luxury cologne comrcial. The towel dropped. He stretched once, sharp and slow, like a cat who just rembered it was a panther.
Then he got dressed.
A jet-black button-down shirt with a silk finish, tailored to drape perfectly across his shoulders. Slim black slacks that moved with him like shadow. A vest in matte charcoal, no charms, no wards—just pure tailored arrogance.
And for accessories? Mortals called them cufflinks, but Lux picked the pair shaped like coiled serpents—solid silver, mildly cursed for flair.
He stepped to the mirrored vanity and reached for the final touch... a bottle of cologne so expensive it made angelic oils look like drugstore body spray.
Obsidian glass. Minimalist logo. Mortal branding with infernal pricing.
He popped the cap, revealing the soft misting nozzle under a waxed seal.
[Item: Perfu – Blood Nocturne No. 9 (Mortals’ Realm – Black Edition)]
[Effect: Slls like dark roses, stormy wine, ruined ex-boyfriends, and extrely expensive secrets.]
[Passive: 15% Charisma, -30% Resistance to Saying No, 40% Chance of Causing Heart Palpitations at Close Range.]
He sprayed once on his neck. Once across his collarbone. Let it settle with a breath and a stretch of his neck, watching his own reflection smirk back like, ’yeah, you’d fall for too.’
It didn’t just sll good.
It slled fatal.
He straightened the hem of his shirt, rolled back his sleeves just enough to flash wrist bones and bad decisions, and gave himself one last look in the mirror.
"Nice," he murmured, eyes glowing faintly in the red light.
No enchantnts.
No legacy robes.
Just pure mortal vanity wrapped around a devil’s spine.
Behind him, Corvus gave a dramatic stretch of his wings. "Alright, you’re done being annoyingly attractive? Can I go now?"
Lux nodded. "Yeah. Auction’s next. I want full silence mode until I call you."
The raven gave a final flutter, dark aura curling around his form.
"I live to serve, oh sleepless accountant overlord," he snarked.
Then disappeared in a puff of static and feathered smoke.
Lux smirked and grabbed his coat.
"Right," he muttered, heading toward the door, the city skyline glowing beyond the suite windows. "Let’s go pretend I’m just here to shop."
He stepped out, locking the room.
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